Love in M/s Ramble

A few weeks ago, there was an online discussion about Love & M/s relationships….

Here is something I said during that discussion….I realized I wanted love, but I also think love would have come with Master and I think that it would have because of the surrender.... and service. It is so deeply intertwined…the love, service and surrender.

Okay so what does that mean to me? I will get to it in end of this little ramble… and this will a ramble...just typing off the top of my head not really giving it a lot of indepth thought...

First, let me say I am talking about “romantic” love – for a lack of a better word. I am not meaning hearts and flowers romance - even though that can be involved. But I am meaning love between persons involved in a relationship that it is deeply intimate. There are different levels of love to me or different degrees of love – to me (again level and degree used for lack of better word). I love Jackie and Honey. But it is different then the love I feel for Master and even more so different then the love I have for Moni. But I love all of them.

I did not love Don (first M/s relationship) and until his drinking and gambling, it worked for us. And then I was owned by someone else that I did not love as he loved me. And that was always hard. I also feel it hindered our M/s relationship.

I do not feel “romantic” love is necessary for a healthy M/s relationship but I would hope there is a deep connection involved and a level of love or caring. But I have always wanted love in my M/s relationships although I never really expected it to happen. But to be in a long-term relationship I hoped to have love involved in it.

To me I guess being a slave came before love in my list of wants and desire. I knew love was not necessarily a part of all M/s relationships, so I was open to the possibility that I would not love my Owner or be loved by him.

I know that some feel that they don’t deserve love, but I have always felt I deserved it. But as I said being a slave was more important to me then love.

Then along came Master and although I wanted love, I did not know if it would happen. I knew I wanted to serve him. I knew he could control me. I knew it felt different then it had before but again I think that is because Master and I got to know so much of each other by talking about everything under the sun. So, there was a deeper connection right away from that getting to know each other.

Because of who he is though and how I serve and surrender to him, I think love for him was inevitable. The service and surrender are so intertwined with the love now. There is rightness to it. It feels complete - the service.

I am not saying we have gone to all the places we can in our M/s relationship that is far from it….I know there will be hard times and struggles…bumps but…

Because of all 3 intertwined there is no place He can lead me that I don’t have faith that we can get through. And I have never had that in a M/s relationship before.