Some questions.....

I got these questions from a submissive's musings. They are questions I have answered a lot on various elist/forums over the years but I thought I would tackle them once again. These are answers that work best for me. They are not the end all be all for everyone....of course that should be known but I found it better to give that as a disclaimer.

Is it easier to Dom/me or submit to someone you are not in a love, romantic, relationship?
For me I would have to say that it was easier to submit when I didn't love the person. But I also feel it is more rewarding submitting to Master - someone I love then others in the past who I didn't love. The connection is different.

Can one be a slave and not be physically 24/7...not live together etc?
Yes. This one years ago - for me - I felt I wasn't a slave until I lived with the person. But that was using my own personal perspective...which I think happens often. We might say well this is how it works for me so it must be the same for others. Such as I don't ever want to do the online thing again. I think it is okay for a place to communicate and get to know a person but submitting to someone through the net was a huge problem and pain in the ass - for me. Submitting in person is so much more rewarding for me that it just feels like it would be a step backwards. But hopefully I won't ever have to worry about that again and be Master's slave for a VERY long time. Anyway, I have done the looking at others..thinking why are they only submitting online when it sucks. But obviously it doesn't suck for everyone....it did for *me* so that is what I need to keep in mind is not to look at it with my eyes but more general objective eyes.

So this question actually several years ago I might have said...you can't be a slave and not live with the person - but over the years I have seen many slaves who didn't live with their Owners and I am always amazed by their service,dedication and devotion. And I have learned a lot from them. So to me you can be a slave and not live with your Owner.

Can one be owned and not be a slave? Not be 24/7?
Definition for slave via dictionary: a person who is owned by someone. So that answers that question for me. And if you are a slave you are 24/7...even if not physically there 24/7. I believe slavery is an everyday thing. I am not owned just Tuesdays and Fridays. I am owned by Master and am his slave everyday.

Can a girlfriend/boyfriend submit to or Dom another person other than their significant other?
For me I am not Master's girlfriend. I am his slave. We love each other. We enjoy each other companionship but as Master/slave - that is the foundation of our relationship. So this question is hard for me to answers as is...but let me rework it to make it work within my relationship structure: Can I have a girlfriend or boyfriend outside of my relationship with Master? Can I submit or dominate someone other then Master?

Girlfriend/boyfriend...girlfriend....maybe but mostly like scenario would be that Master and I are both involved with her. Boyfriend no...I can't see that happening. Master hasn't had me serve another yet but I won't rule it out. We have some very good friends I could see him having me submit or serve them. Dominate another is not my thing. I have topped at times and I do have a sadistic streak with girls. If Master told me to...I would, but I don't see having the desire to just do that and if i did it would be discussed with Master and I can see co-topping someone. In past relationship though I have been given to another to serve and top and I do so in service to that person.

How many Doms subs can one effectively have? One, ten, twenty?
I am not sure I understand the question. Does it mean how many dominants can a submissive have....? If so I think that a submissive can submit to more then one dominant. As I said above I have been given to another to serve before and it was fine...I was able to serve both efficiently/effectively. I have seen many other slaves serve more then one dominant. I know of slaves working a leather event and serving several speakers or judges when it was needed so I can see serving as many as one can handle. I also have seen slaves owned by more then one person. I lived in a poly household and there were 2 dominants and several submissives and it worked. The dominants communicated clearly so that there weren't conflicting orders or rules. It just takes communication and compatibility.


Are online D/s relationships harder to maintain than r/l? I think all relationships can be hard to maintain....vanilla, D/s, online, friendships, and work...they take work. And might be hard to maintain in different areas.

As I said above my own personal experience with online I didn't like it. The emotions were strung high as that physical connection wasn't there so it made the emotions tilt the balance. But I also know submitting in person to Master has been very hard in some areas. So it is just different.