Schedule Schmedule....

So I have been looking back....thinking about all the changes in the last year and even the last couple years to my service and slavery to Master. I have said for quite a while I am comfortable and calm in my slavery (as someone just recently reminded me of in an email.) I had a really hard time with burn out a little while back and really about the beginning of December I started on my way back with Master's help. But that is not where this entry is going. I was thinking about housecleaning the other day....past and now present.

When Master worked a very demanding job (60 hours a week being the norm if not more), I had a housecleaning schedule that I kept to pretty well. And when Master would have a day off I would love it but it did throw me off. Also if he decided to just come home in the middle of the day it really threw me off and actually annoyed me at times. I even had the thoughts of doesn't he know I have a schedule I keep....doesn't he know that I have things to do. Now please tell me why would him coming home in the middle of the day upset me...when I really actually didn't like that I didn't get to see him as much as I wanted because of his demanding job. I should be thrilled by seeing him come in the door. And granted most of the time I was...but there were times...when it as I said annoyed me...and the reason being is...I was set in my schedule and now that threw my schedule off. Do you see the key words in there...*my* schedule....that should be a duh moment right? Well of course I didn't really get it emotionally that at that time. I just knew that all the things I had lined up for the rest of the day wouldn't happen. Can you say control issues? Really that is what it was...I had gotten so used to being in control of my day - having the schedule set just as it was - that him coming home in the middle of the day messed that up. He infringed on "my" schedule...."my" time. Can you hear the stomping feet?

I knew logically - that *my* time is HIS. But emotions and being set in my ways over took logic and I became upset. It was almost 2 years ago when I finally "got it." As I said logically I knew it but internally I finally got it too. So when he showed up in the middle of the day, I learned to enjoy the time with him. As really quality time together is something we didn't get a lot of because of his job. I started really appreciating those moments I had with him. I also started thinking okay this is his precious free time and he really doesn't deserve coming home to a grumpy slave...what he needs is some down time to relax as this was it...a couple of hours stolen away. So I learned to give him all I could in those moments....making sure he had ice tea in the summer, a snack, maybe a shower and anything to let him just relax. So I got it that my time is his and able to let go and accept when my schedule got messed up.

I have to say that has helped me SO much for when he started working from home. I don't have a schedule now. I might go to bed thinking tomorrow I will laundry, wash the kitchen floor, organize the pantry or whatever but it hardly ever stays that way. And I can see if it had been 2 years ago I would have really got grumpy about that. But now I let it go....Master says he has an appointment and I am coming with him...I do and more importantly I really enjoy it. I know that laundry and washing the floor will be there when I have time to get to it and Master doesn't need me to do something else. Master doesn't want his home a total mess and I know that limit, so when the floor is getting to that point of messy I tell Master that. I tell him "Master I haven't got to the floor this week at all and it is almost a week and half now so it really is dirty." And then if he has stuff to do he will figure out if he wants me to wait on the floor until later and come with, if he wants to go do his things alone or reschedule it until I am done with my tasks. My time is his to decides what he want even if I have a list a mile long.

Recently though we discussed this because housework has gotten behind. It is not as clean as it was before he started working from home. Most of the time I wouldn't be embarrassed if someone stopped by but there are things that I just keep putting off. I also do a lot more housecleaning on weekends then I did before. Master and I discussed that he might just start setting a day away for me so I can clean. And it will again be important to me if he changes it...or decides that even though it was my day to clean he wants me to do something else to let it go and accept it. Flexibility is I think one on of the most important traits in my service to Master. Acceptance is really up there too. They kind of go hand and hand...bend bend...accept accept.

I need to vacuum and wash the kitchen floor but we are going to Utah today for work. We will have a night away and I am looking forward to it. I am not going to worry about kitchen floor or vacuuming the living room. I am looking forward to the hoods, the baton, clamps and whatever else comes from Master's sadism plus I am sure ending with a good fucking. As I know those are things he has in mind. And yes there is a big sigh with a smile on my face as I write those. Those are the moments I need to really enjoy. So schedule schmedule...time with Master rocks! And rules. (yes that was a horrible pun.)