Wednesday, November 07, 2007

To Tell or not to Tell?

kaya posted about telling your doctor you are into SM. And I am totally in agreement with her post and wrote something similar several years ago....this is also on our website.

I always try to be honest and forthright to my doctor. I tell them I engage in consensual SM. I tell them if they have any questions or concerns to please let me know. A doctor provides a service so if I don't feel comfortable with their reaction, comments or questions then I thank them for their time and go to another doctor. I don't want to put my health and well being in the hands of someone who might lead me the wrong way just because of their personal objections, morals or religious beliefs. I try not to go in with extreme bruising, marks or cuttings because I don't want to shove it in their faces to the point of uncomfortableness. But I have gone in with bruises at times and most of the time now my doctors will ask if it is play. And if I say yes they drop it and move on.

Two doctor stories....I had a pap smear appointment and it was one of those where I had canceled it a few times...not because of bruises just for daily life things getting in the way. I then realized I just couldn't put it off any longer. The problem I had a bruise. One that would be noticed during a pelvic examine as it came from a strap on. The dildo was held to the strap-on with a metal ring and during sex the ring kept hitting the bone right at the top of my mound. It left a fairly large bruise plus a knot under the skin. So I bit the bullet and decided to go through with it anyway. I got in the stir ups and right away he saw it. He said to me...."Do I want to know how you got this bruise?" I said, "probably not." He smile, nodded and then went on to just give me my pap.

The next scenario is one that another reason I am out to my doctor. I had been playing pretty heavily sexually. My partner tried to fist me but I ripped. I tried to treat it but a day or so later something happened that caused it to rip further.** It wasn't healing properly so I had to go doctor and tell him exactly what happened so that he could properly treat it. I explained it and really I am thankful I was out to him because although that injury doesn't sound all that bad - it was in hard place to "heal" so he was able to help me in a way I wouldn't have known without going to a doctor. He didn't give me a lecture. He didn't act mortified. He was kind and professional. And that is how it should be when you have come out to your doctor. Because I came out to him ahead of time also I think eased the situation so that he was fully confident it was 100% consensual.

** So want to know the embarrassing little tidbit of info I left out of that post and that I shared with my doctor. I was fisted and then a couple days after I was wearing a pair of thong panties. I sat on the edge of the bed but the mattress had moved so it was hanging off the edge. I hadn't seen that so when I sat down my bottom slipped off. My thong panties wanted to stay where I was so...pulled up...and ripped me more....basically clear to my anus. And yes I am admitting this to all that read...good thing you can't see my face. And I was that embarrassed when I told my doctor, but as I said above he was kind and professional and really did need to know all the information. It took me several weeks actually to heal completely and even then I wasn't ready mentally to have intercourse because of the pain while healing.


  1. I'm preparing for a similar doctor search. I just got new health insurance and with that comes looking for a new doctor. I'm pretty nervous about getting to know them, and s/he know me even for general practitioner stuff. I'm going to have to bite the bullet sooner or later.

    When I was in college I had something come up in play that needed to be dealt with at the doctor's. I was standing and taking a beating for about half an hour and I just fainted. I got all light-headed and collapsed. Now at first I thought it was blood sugar levels or something, but then it happened again, and again. I went to the doctor who had me stand for an extended period while he took my blood pressure. He determined that because of my body size that the blood was just having a hard time getting back to my heart. He told me that next time I'm playing like that to add some exercises or bending at the knees occasionally to help the blood flow.

    It's now been added into our play routine. If I'm standing I get to walk in place off and on. Add that to weighted clamps!

  2. youch! my little experience pales in comparison, but thought it was pretty funny. I went to the chiropractor. had on a short skirt. She commented about bruises on the backs of my legs, just something noncommittal in passing. I said something about how I bruise easily. She said that was too bad. (And I thought - heck no, I like to be able to see the reminders!) Then, later I looked and I had several very distinct fingers w/thumb prints on my legs! LOL!


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