To Tell or not to Tell?

kaya posted about telling your doctor you are into SM. And I am totally in agreement with her post and wrote something similar several years ago....this is also on our website.

I always try to be honest and forthright to my doctor. I tell them I engage in consensual SM. I tell them if they have any questions or concerns to please let me know. A doctor provides a service so if I don't feel comfortable with their reaction, comments or questions then I thank them for their time and go to another doctor. I don't want to put my health and well being in the hands of someone who might lead me the wrong way just because of their personal objections, morals or religious beliefs. I try not to go in with extreme bruising, marks or cuttings because I don't want to shove it in their faces to the point of uncomfortableness. But I have gone in with bruises at times and most of the time now my doctors will ask if it is play. And if I say yes they drop it and move on.

Two doctor stories....I had a pap smear appointment and it was one of those where I had canceled it a few times...not because of bruises just for daily life things getting in the way. I then realized I just couldn't put it off any longer. The problem I had a bruise. One that would be noticed during a pelvic examine as it came from a strap on. The dildo was held to the strap-on with a metal ring and during sex the ring kept hitting the bone right at the top of my mound. It left a fairly large bruise plus a knot under the skin. So I bit the bullet and decided to go through with it anyway. I got in the stir ups and right away he saw it. He said to me...."Do I want to know how you got this bruise?" I said, "probably not." He smile, nodded and then went on to just give me my pap.

The next scenario is one that another reason I am out to my doctor. I had been playing pretty heavily sexually. My partner tried to fist me but I ripped. I tried to treat it but a day or so later something happened that caused it to rip further.** It wasn't healing properly so I had to go doctor and tell him exactly what happened so that he could properly treat it. I explained it and really I am thankful I was out to him because although that injury doesn't sound all that bad - it was in hard place to "heal" so he was able to help me in a way I wouldn't have known without going to a doctor. He didn't give me a lecture. He didn't act mortified. He was kind and professional. And that is how it should be when you have come out to your doctor. Because I came out to him ahead of time also I think eased the situation so that he was fully confident it was 100% consensual.

** So want to know the embarrassing little tidbit of info I left out of that post and that I shared with my doctor. I was fisted and then a couple days after I was wearing a pair of thong panties. I sat on the edge of the bed but the mattress had moved so it was hanging off the edge. I hadn't seen that so when I sat down my bottom slipped off. My thong panties wanted to stay where I was so...pulled up...and ripped me more....basically clear to my anus. And yes I am admitting this to all that read...good thing you can't see my face. And I was that embarrassed when I told my doctor, but as I said above he was kind and professional and really did need to know all the information. It took me several weeks actually to heal completely and even then I wasn't ready mentally to have intercourse because of the pain while healing.