Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Friendship, Advice and Whatnot

I started this post a long time ago, but never got around to finishing. A chat with a good friend of mine and her blog post about the subject made me get back to it.

A while back, I received an email that made me know I had to stop answering some of my emails.  It wasn't that I get too many of them or that it made me angry or anything. It just becomes that I am not really helping anyone - really. Because I give the same advice over and over and over again.  Over the years, I feel I have just gotten more blunt about it though. I  am not what I say mean (at least I hope I don't come across that way) - but I am sure at times it can come across as harsh.

Because for me...I am not sure why someone would write me - a complete stranger on how to deal with their relationship?  I don't know them. I don't know their Master so how can I give good advice. So often my advice is - talk to your Master, talk to someone who knows you - a good friend and if you are really wanting to be a slave suck it up and obey.

I am happy to share my knowledge and experiences through my blog, website and often through email to people. I am glad you can relate and you even desire similar things, but know you won't have the exact relationship I do because we are all different so it is hard for me to give you advice. We are all different - yes unique little snowflakes and that include dominants. How Master wants things done or how I need to communicate with him is very different then how previous dominant want things.  So I can't tell you how to do x, y or z because I don't know your Master or you.  Because again how I handle things and learn things is very different then how you might.

Even the relationship Master and teacup have is different from the relationship I have with Master. I mean we are both his property and slaves, but how he does things with her is different then  how he does them with me because we are different people.

The reason I throw in the friend part into my advice is because I think a friend who knows you will have much better advice than I - a complete stranger. I know that my friend who I referenced at the beginning of the post, will tell me to suck it up if she feels I am being too whiny, she will also let me whine and vent about things she knows are really non-issues when I sort through my feelings and venting helps me sort through those feelings, and she will never ever tell me to get out of my relationship even if I am feeling very frustrated, and struggling on a big life issue that seems like it is going against my very core beliefs. She knows that I am owned and she won't try to undermine Master's authority over me.

I am thankful for her and the few good friends I have that understand my relationship and accept it. I have even several friends that are in the vanilla side of things who accept my relationship and help me through things when I am struggling.

I know often when I get emails from people - some are hoping to befriends. I am up for interacting and creating friendships, but I will say I am lousy at it. Just horrible. I have a hard time keeping up with people because my time is Master's. So emailing the friends I have already and my family are infrequent now - add people to list of friends and well they are even more infrequent and that can bother some people reaching out.

I know that I am thankful for all the people that do write, but know I just can't possibly write everyone back.  Remember this is almost always my advice - talk to your dominant, talk to a good friend, and obey even when it is hard.


  1. i love you so so much. Thanks for being my friend.

  2. If asked for advice I often ask a couple of questions that the other ought to be asking themselves. I usually follow it with "what do you think?" All of this for exactly the reasons you've listed.

    I'm glad you write and share your experience. There is SO much one can glean from reading you and others like you. It may or may not apply to one's life but it makes one stop and think. Or it should. :0)


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