Friday, November 30, 2012
Terms of Endearment
I am not a big terms of endearment person. I do use them with Master in vanilla settings as it is easier for me than using his name. His name is Michael which of course starts with the same letter as Master so when I start to say to say Michael in vanilla settings it usually turns to Master before I can think. So saying my beloved or love is easier than his first name often. I really have to concentrate to make sure I use something other than Master. I have only had it slip once before - well almost two times now.
Master uses terms of endearment with me also. Some in the privacy of our home and some out and about when people can't hear what he is whispering.
I know my view of kinky/dirty terms of endearment have changed over the years. When I was married, being called slut would have sent - well did send me into a tailspin. But know when Master calls me a slut, I just become a puddle as it turns me on. Same with cunt, dirty whore, worthless whore, cow, pig and so on.
There are some terms of endearment I am not fond and actually kind of annoy the crap out of me when I am called them. They aren't even bad words - I mean someone being called a cunt can really get them up and arms but being called pet or little one might not. But for me being called pet or little one - annoy me.
It goes back to really when I first started online and jumping into bdsm communities online as well as offline. I got called those 2 names quite a bit and it always made me feel like they person saying it was thinking this was a game not my way of life. It made me feel like I am going to call you pet and you are going to kneel demurely by my feet during this meeting and then I will go home and spank and fuck you and tomorrow we can go to work and act like nothing happened.
Instead of living it - on and on - which is what I wanted and craved. But often the men that called me pet or little one weren't wanting it long term so I often just ended up feeling like these few hours of being called pet or little one were just a game. I know it wasn't a game to them. It is just how they did things and that is perfectly fine. If you are someone that can just do this on weekends, or when the mood strikes - that is good for you. I just need to serve and be owned by Master 24/7.
Since that time in my life the terms of endearment - pet and little one - make me cringe inside. The thing is Master likes pet as a term of endearment. He likes calling me pet and even almost 10 years in this relationship - I still have problems hearing it. I know logically it is Master who is saying this - the man I have served for almost 10 years - everyday all day long. But I still cringe. I wish I could reprogram myself to not wrinkle my nose at the word pet. It is something I continue to work on, but not sure I will ever get those images of those who have called me it before him. But I keep trying to just let it go and not wrinkle my nose.
So silly really - out of all the words that I get upset about it is the word pet. Pet. So silly.