Tuesday, March 12, 2013

M/s and the Normal Relationship

Some questions I answered from a question to a group on FetLife.

1: Do you ever have any break from your relationship, were you aren't M/s? Like where you are just in a normal relationship for a day?

The foundation of our relationship is M/s and if we didn't interact like that something would be terribly wrong with the relationship. M/s is normal for us as that is how we naturally interact with each other. That doesn't mean I don't have days where sometimes - I just am not feeling well and going and getting that cup of coffee for him doesn't sound that great to me. I get ill, I have bad days, I have days that just for whatever reason trip me up. It also doesn't mean that we don't do things like hold hands in the grocery store, or go out on a date night to the movies, or do yard work and all the other daily stuff that makes up life. It just means the M/s is always there. Even if it isn't overt - it is just part of our life.

2: Do you ever deprive your slave of the things they need, like food or a toilet? I don't mean forever of course, but for like a day?

Master has done some deprivation of things in my life. It is his right to do whatever he wishes. We both have a fantasies and fetishes that revolve around deprivation. But we also run a business and have things going on daily so it just happens when it can happen and not on a daily basis.

3: If something serious happened, like a close family member died or you found out the female was pregnant, would you snap out your roles or deal with it within your roles?

I am not sure I would understand how that would benefit us by not being M/s. It isn't role for us. It is who we are and it functions better because of being M/s. Again it doesn't mean that we don't cope in normal ways. We do the best to deal with grief, loss and major changes to our life - the best we can but again the foundation of our relationship is M/s so changing that would make things very awkward and more difficult on us.

When my Uncle died 2 years ago, it was the hardest period of my life to date. Truthfully, I went through a lot of doubts of who I was, but I never stopped being Master's slave. I questioned our life for a bit because everything in my life looked like gloom and doom because of the grief. I can now look back and know if we had stopped the M/s, it would have taken me even longer to go through those emotions and I would have a lot more difficulties coping with daily life.

4: For those who have children, how do you get around them with your relationship? Do they know or not?

We don't have children. But most relationships I have been involved with or know that have kids....the kids don't know about the M/s or kink. They just knew Mom is Mom and Dad is Dad. They didn't need to know more then that.

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