Friday, September 30, 2011

5 Ways....

I was reading this "5 Ways to Love Yourself Completely - Right Now" and I realize that they are just good in general but as a person in service and placing in context of serving they work really well too.   The author Jess Weiner goes into each one with a little paragraph but I am just sharing the 5 ways and then my thoughts.

1. Forgive -One of the things she says is forgive yourself. I know I don't do that enough.  I hang on to my mistakes for a long time even little ones that I know Master probably isn't even thinking about - I still am not forgiving myself for making a mistake. Earlier in the week we ran a lot of errands and I only brought a few reusable shopping bags so we didn't have enough by the time we got into the last place. So had to use the store ones. I didn't beat myself up for that but Master is big on making sure you tie those plastic grocery store sacks so things dont' fall out and roll around in the back of the car.  I forgot to tie them and they had round cans in them so when took the first corner - out they all came rolling around the back.  Master got out at the stop light and tied the bags.  I have been beating myself up about this little mistake since.  It was a little mistake...I should get over it. Forgive myself and move on.

2. Take Small Steps of Action  - "Get out of your head and into your life."  is one quote from the text.  I have so much in my head that it stops me from trying and moving forward.  I just need to take even a small step of action. 

3. Practice Daily Grace  -   I really liked what she had to say about Practicing grace.  Those mistakes I talked about in #1 that I hang on to - well they are taking up space that could be used for other more important things. Ms. Weiner says to practice daily grace so that it is like a muscle.  I like to call muscle memory. It just becomes a part of you the more you use it. 

4. Pay attention to your Body - I know I am much better at this then I was when I was younger. I now can tell when my body needs rest or when things are wrong.  But when I was serving in the Poly Household - I often pushed myself and didn't listen to my body trying to tell me that I was pushing to hard. 

5. Make Friends with Patience and Progress - All of these are linked of course and #3 and this one are especially close.  If you are practicing daily grace then you will be able to more easily make friends with patience and progress. To see your growth in even small things and allowing yourself mistakes as they help us learn and grow. 

You can get the 5 Ways to Love Yourself Completely by Jess Weiner on her website. You have to fill in your email address and she emails them to you. 

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Value & Contribution

I found this quote several weeks ago when I was going through things on my computer - trying to clear up some space.  I shared the quote with Master right away as I knew he would like it too. So now sharing it here too....
"A 'good' slave is one who has talents and attributes whose value and contribution is more than the maintenance you have to do to keep or inspire her service." ~ Soulhuntre 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Review: Expert Guide to Female Orgasms

DVD Cover
Several years ago Master and I went a workshop at Thunder in the Mountains by Tristan Taormino on Enemas. We really got a lot of good information from the workshop and thought she was a really good presenter. So when I saw she has a series of Sex Ed videos - I knew I would like to see them sometimes and I got my chance with Expert Guide to Female Orgasms. Tristan takes a different approach to the educational sex video using both education and porn. She uses porn stars in her video to demonstrate. I think that is a really interesting approach.

For the first 30 minutes approximately is the education portion by Tristan and then after that it is divided into 5 different couples being interviewed and having sex. Tristan describes the basics of the female orgasm, what happens as a woman becomes aroused and how that is expressed, the different parts of female sex anatomy, tips and suggestions to help achieve orgasm, and of course she stresses that every woman is different - so how each woman achieves an orgasm will be different. She mixes in the porn stars talking their personal experiences. All the information as well as sexual demonstrations are presented in a very open and non-judgmental, sex-positive light.

Tristan Taormino
Katie & Sean Michael
The five couples are - Katie St Ives and Sean Michael, Evanni Solei and Evan Stone, Jiz Lee and Madison Young, Dylan Ryan and Mr. Marcus, and Adrianna Nicole and James Deen. Before each scene starts there is an interview with each member of the couple. The females are asked how they have orgasms and what they need to have an orgasm. Some of them offer advice for achieving orgasm. I enjoyed hearing how each woman achieves orgasms as they were all different. Although the hitachi wand was a consistent star with each of them. I liked that they used sex toys as I feel many times couples do get intimidated by using toys. As Mr. Marcus says in the video he felt the first time someone wanted to use toys that he wondered if he wasn't "enough" - but now he sees them as just enhances the pleasure and it is part of the process to get there.

Evanni & Evan
I feel although they are porn stars they aren't acting. Maybe I am wrong but everything looks real. Their moves aren't overly pronounced as they are in porn movies - making sure that the camera gets that tongue on the pussy money shot.  No it is just couples having sex. It looks real. In one of the extra features on the DVD there is behind the scenes and Tristan is saying to Jiz and Madison that she doesn't allow anyone to fake an orgasm. And I watched the video before hearing that and felt they all were very real in their orgasms and interaction. Although they weren't "couples" in the sense that they are together enjoying ongoing intimacy - they were all enjoying themselves A LOT but it did lack some intimacy or at least I felt it did.

Dylan & Mr. Marcus
Besides the education portion and the five couples there are also several bonus features - Safer Sex, Kegel Exercises, Vibrator Guide, Masturbation Montage and Behind the Scenes. I really enjoyed all of these extra features. You are really getting a lot of video on this DVD.

My only criticisms of the video are that these are porn stars. Now I do think they did great. I enjoyed watching many of them and felt they all enjoyed each other but I do wish there would have been everyday couples with ongoing relationships and intimacy. I enjoyed the last 3 couples the most though. The first two couples were okay - they didn't turn me on much. I really liked Sean Michaels I just didn't feel Katie communicated very well. She came across ditzy which then turns me off when they had sex. I felt that Evanni communicated well but Evan Stone well he compared getting the female orgasm to fly fishing. Now he prefaces it with putting it in man speak but it still annoyed me. My mind has to be turned on for my body to be turned on - so because a couple actors made me cringe - it turned me off when they had sex. I did feel the other couples were very informative as well as very sexy.

Adrianna & James
Although James Deen said a few things that made me cringe too. He just sounded like a boy instead of a man. But he is right Adrianna exudes sex so I loved watching her. It was really hot seeing her facial expressions as she orgasmed. He also spits on her pussy - which I didn't find sexy at all. Adrianna said one thing too that I didn't feel was very good - she said that she felt those that haven't achieved orgasm weren't allowing themselves to have one (paraphrasing). And that bothered me. I know she was talking about those that never have had an orgasm - but it can be stretched to those who have trouble achieving aren't allowing themselves. Okay so that is hitting close to home - as the older I get I can at times have some trouble reaching orgasm - but I want to orgasm. I try. I am allowing myself to have I want it very badly. But it just isn't as easy as that.

Jiz & Madison
My only other little annoyance is that the sex toys were covered with condoms and there is a feature on safe sex but yet many of the performers don't practice safe sex. I wish they would have all been covered - even if there wouldn't have been a safe sex feature on the video - I just prefer to see them practicing safe sex. If they had been couples in ongoing relationships that had a fluid bond then I wouldn't have had a problem at all seeing them without condoms.

Things I really liked about this video were that Tristan was very clear, open and sex-positive in her information. Mr. Marcus pulling Dylan's hair oh my....yes that set me off instantly! Really they were my favorite couple just really hot sex but the last three couples  turned me on.  I also really liked Dylan talking about the female ejaculation as I feel that will help so many women and men who don't know about it and want to know more. She did a good job of describing what it felt like and how she achieved it.

I feel the Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Female Orgasms is a good video for those who are wanting to know more about the female orgasm. I think it is especially good to watch with a partner. Master and I watched it together. I don't feel there was anything it didn't tell us that we didn't know but it might have given us some ideas to use that we haven't used in a while. Although there were some things I didn't like all that much, overall it was enjoyable, informative and a turn on.

Monday, September 05, 2011

Meeting a Friend

Master and I recently took a trip for his work. We had the extreme pleasure to meet someone I have known online for a long time. She is someone I have long been inspired by and admired her for domestic skills and dedication to service. Katie is a contributor to Domestic Servitude blog and has a tumblr - Daily Submission.

It was such a wonderful evening! Katie has been one of these people on my mental list of people I wanted to meet and just never thought I would. I mean I never thought I would get to her area. When I found out that we were going, I asked Master right away if it was okay if I contacted Katie about getting together and meeting. He said yes. He loves meeting lifestyles people - especially Master/slave couples as it is a rare occasion when we meet people with such similar paths.

Although I love meeting people especially that I have known for such a long time online - I still have social anxiety issues. So just calling and talking to her to set up times when we arrived in her area - I was so nervous. But at the same time I was so excited about meeting her.

Katie made us dinner and she is a hostess. She loves cooking for people and having them enjoy it. And we DID ENJOY dinner! OH my goodness - so so good! We had things from their garden. She made a cherry tart for dinner that was OUTSTANDING! I am wanting a piece right NOW please? :) It was that good. Katie sent us home with a basket of homemade goodies. She is just so thoughtful! Such a wonderful hostess.

We had such a wonderful time with her and her Master. We laughed and talked about everything from lifestyle things to politics and just had great conversations. I got a tour of her garden and home and it just was everything I imagined when I think of her. I loved it! Loved seeing her in this place that makes her so happy - it is so lovely! She is a beautiful person - just so lovely. I am so grateful that we got to meet and talk face to face. And I hope that maybe I can come back with Master again. It is people like her and her Master that make us miss being around lifestyle people of like mind. We loved being able to just be ourselves and not having to watch our words/conversation. It was nice being around people who understand our path also and don't judge it and walk a similar path too.

Katie has some writings on the Domestic Servitude blog. I don't think I have everything tagged with her label yet as I just started going back to label her posts. The Dandelion Massage Oil recipe is one of the things she gave us in the basket.
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