Wednesday, October 17, 2012

30 Days of Kink - Day 12

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had.  If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

I am not sure I really had humorous BDSM/kink experiences, but I have humorous sex experiences....

* In my sexual history I have....

fallen off the bed during sex....

broke the bed during sex...

broke the futon during sex...

broke a table I was bent over...

broke a chair we were having sex in....

* My ex-husband and I were having sex before we married. We lived in a big apartment complex...the window was open. I forgot and after I ended my long screaming orgasm....we heard clapping. He peeked out the window the building was an L shape and several neighbors on their balconies were clapping and cheering. I went out and took a bow (with a robe on). He was totally embarrassed, but I was like so what...we know they all have sex and so do we….it is normal…so it was not a big deal to me but was a big deal to him.

* In another relationship we were poly - our household had 2 males and 4 females at one point. Anyway, one male and I were doing SM play and having was a long session that ended with sex. Anyway, during it our air conditioner went out. One of the females called maintenance - and did not tell us. They came in and took a look, but said they would come back later. She told us later that he for sure heard me moaning because she could. So he comes back later when we were up - and out - the maintenance guys said "nice to SEE you." -- And had this silly grin on his he was saying nice to SEE you instead of just HEAR you! I wanted to die and hide, but I just kind of nodded and walked away.

* In the same relationship, we had a big plastic tub in the Master had all our SM toys...rope, floggers, sex toys (vibes, butt plugs), nipple clamps, clothes pins, gags, collars, leashes, chain and... tons of other toys. We had someone over and played the night before. I had not gotten a chance to get in there and clean up yet. So there was chains and cuffs attached to the bed, a butt plug and vibrator (that had been cleaned sitting on the night stand), rope in a pile next to the bed, a gag and blindfold hanging off the headboard, locks and more chain lying in a pile next to the bed, floggers and clamps hanging out of the plastic tub. 

The man I was involved with - was hooked up to a breathing machine at night for sleep apnea - but they needed to test blood oxygen levels to see if they had it set up right so needed to bring in another machine. Well he forgot to tell me they were coming by that morning. So when the guy knocked at the door I was a little surprised. He said he needed to go into the bedroom to hook it up. I said, “umm well I need to go clean up” and told him I would be right back. He said, “oh no don't bother I have seen I am sure much worse”...and followed me into the bedroom. I saw him look around and then he cleared his throat and said – “so isn't all this rain terrible?” and proceeded to carry on a "normal" conversation. We talked about restaurants and food. 

After he got it hooked up -- I had to fill out some forms -- so we did that in the living room. He said to me “you seem really cool.” I was still I think in a constant state of red from blushing from him being around all our toys. I said, “thanks.” He said, “you are very open minded.” I nodded and said, “umm yes.” And that is all the further he took it, but I could see he wanted to ask more. He just didn't know how to open it up to talk more.  And I just left it alone.

* Another time, same relationship, I was having a migraine and so laying under a bunch of blankets on the bed with head covered. I did not hear anyone knocking at the door. Well maintenance would knock, but if there was no answer they just let themselves in. Well they did -- they did not "notice" someone on the bed. Oh by the way I was naked - so I just lay there really still when I realized they had come in. They were changing out filters in the furnace (which was in the room where I was lying down) and changing out fire alarm batteries. So, I lay there just so still. On my computer that was in the same room - I had a screen saver with all sorts of bondage and SM porn -It was one of those slideshow type deals going through all the porn. So the guy gets done changing filter, turns around and sees it. He said, “wow.” Then he called to the other guy who was changing out batteries in the fire alarms down the hall into the room with him to see the screen saver. They stood their watching it and commenting on all the women and what was being done. Then they noticed the nipple clamps on the desk, the butt plug, vibe, and rope in a basket on shelving unit next to the desk....and commented on that. They were talking about how the people living here must really be kinky. Then they wondered if any of the photos were of the people living in this apartment. Commenting on how the carpet kind of looked like carpet in the apartment. Then all of sudden -- I heard a whisper. See I think one of them realized I was in the bed…so they left quickly.

So those are some my humorous sex moments besides just the laughing Master and I sometimes get because we are so damn happy during or after sex/bdsm play. 

previous answered questions

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Tools to help Depression

Community Forum Discussions - Adult Community at EdenFantasysThere is a poll on Forums about Antidepressants and Libido. I have suffered from depression and anxiety all my life. Right now I am suffering with depression because of my chronic pain.

I am not currently on any antidepressants, but in the past I have been.  Prozac and Wellbutrin XL.  Prozac made me feel just numb - all my emotions felt numb and empty. As a result of not feeling...I really didn't care about sex either.  Wellbutrin did really well for me at first. The longer I was on it though the more I felt it numbed my feelings or didn't help me even my feelings out as fast as it did in the beginning.  But the one thing it didn't do it is effect my libido. I still was interested in sex and wanted sex the same.

I told my doctors right away when I was seeking pharma type help that I wanted a drug that wouldn't numb my feelings or decrease my libido. It is important to talk to your doctor, if these things happen and not to stop taking the drug even if you don't feel it is working because they do need special instruction usually and can cause horrible side effects if you just stop cold turkey taking them.  So please talk to your doctor if you want to stop taking them or feel you need to change meds. 

Even though I am in a depression cycle, I still want sex and enjoy sex.  It helps bring my mood up. But I know unfortunately that isn't the case for everyone.  I know that not everyone feels better having sex and I know not everyone feels sexual during depression.  So know yourself and find a set of tools to help you cope and get your sexual self back on track as well as your emotional/mental. 

Depression can make it so hard to do anything. Action is the key to getting past depression.  But just getting out of bed can be a challenge so sometimes I have to just make a pact with myself to do one thing. Starting small and focusing on one goal at a time.  Sharing a list of things that help me cope and move past my depression.  

Here are a few tips to help cope during depression:

1. Support - FIRST and foremost ...get help....reach out to friends, family and even get professional help especially if it has been going on long term.  Not only ask them for support but reach out to them to let them know you are thinking of them - caring about others helps not focus on the negative swirling around in my head.  Don't isolate yourself  - so make and create friendships even through online forums as well as in person. Being social and caring about others helps lift the mood so reach out to friends and family through email or phone, write a letter or card, make a gift, meet up for lunch. Having sex with your partner, maybe trying out a new sex toy - I remember I got my Hitachi MagicWand during a depression cycle and it was so much fun exploring/playing with it with Master. Touching can create a form of intimacy that helps feel connected to someone. Connection and intimacy help cope with depression.  Engage in SM - being spanked or flogged always releases endorphin that help my pain and my mood, but again know yourself - because I know it can at times do the opposite too for some. 

2. Nurture - Nurture and pamper yourself.  Enjoy a cup of tea, read a good book, take a long hot bath or shower, sit in the sun,  watch clouds go by, meditate, buy yourself some flowers, daydream, get a massage using an aromatherapy massage oil  because smell can uplift mood just as much as touch, masturbate, or give yourself a facial or pedicure

3. Play - Have some fun and play with abandon.  Color in a coloring book, play with playdough, sing/listen to music,  go swing on a swingset, play in a sandbox, play with a pet, blow bubbles, or read a childeren's book

4. Create & Engage the Brain - Expressing yourself through creativity and engaging your brain helps in recovering from depression. So draw, paint, do a craft, create a new recipe, visit a museum, go to a play or musical, doodle, do a crossword puzzle, learn a new skill or interest, journal, knit/crochet, sew, garden, organize something - a filing cabinet, a drawer, a closet, plan something - a party, your garden, a cleaning list, a menu,

5. Move - Moving helps elevate mood, but don't get overwhelmed by scheduling or doing too much. Just even take one thing and do it to help move forward.  Take a walk, mow the lawn, do a household chore, workout with an exercise video or at the gym, do yoga,  have sex - try a new position or play with some sex toys to not only get moving but engage your brain by exploring new areas, rearrange a room, cook a new dish or bake something for someone, take a bike ride, take a drive, go explore a new area, swim or take part in a sport, walk the mall, or weed the garden

Find what works for you - and make a list of tools to help cope with your depression. 

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Moments of Beautiful Fall Colors

The lack of posts in September were because we were gone out of town a little over 2 weeks.  Plus a week of getting ready and then we came home it was straight into work.

I really like road trips with Master. Although we didn't get a lot of alone time outside of the car - we at least had that time.  When we get in a car, we talk and talk. At home sometimes Master is too busy to have some deep, intense conversations, but in the car on a long road trip allows for him to just get away from business and let his mind go we have these amazing conversations. We also took lots of back roads and saw so many beautiful places with amazing fall colors even that early. It was really nice.

We had a really good trip though because we were able to see family and friends. After business and such we traveled on to see my sister and her family....seeing especially my niece. She is going to be 2 soon and is acting like she is 2. She threw temper tantrums as well as being sweet and adorable.  My parents came down from their home to see us too. That was nice, but also kind of tense as my Dad's politics is getting on my nerves.  He posts political stuff on FB that make my blood boil and I usually try to counter what my Dad posts. As I don't usually say anything to him directly about politics as he is my Dad, but I also don't want the stuff he posts to be hanging out there so I post usually the counter of it.  So anyway....with my parents coming down to see us...I had to remind Master and myself that we couldn't talk politics. It was a little tense with my Dad, but we still had a nice time with everyone. And I got a lot of quality time with my niece.

I outed myself on the poly and teacup to my sister. I knew I had told her about having multiple partners when I was with Kam, but with Master she I know assumed we were monogamous  She asked some good questions - she first asked if were like Sister Wives.  I laughed and said no, but I am sure now people think of poly as that.  But really it went well.  She was fine with it and as always I think she will just chalk it up to - "it is my sister and expected that she lives an unconventional life." Because my family kind of views me as a free spirit.

After seeing my family, we had more work stuff to do.  It was really nice though to see the people we were working with as we hadn't seen them in quite a long time. I also got a different view of one of them that I didn't really understand until staying with there. We had a great hostess and I also saw the pain she does through still because of the event we all went through.  I really gained some respect and caring for her on a different level. I was thankful to have been able to help them.

From there we met up with teacup and it was great to be able to see her.  She gave me a coloring book and crayons! I always love to color! It was such a sweet gift - that I am so thankful to have someone in my life who remembers those kind of things about me.  Thank you teacup for the Princess coloring book and crayons!

So by the time we got to see teacup on our trip - we had almost been gone 2 weeks so I was pretty exhausted from having to be on around my family and friends. Plus I got my period (the 2nd that month) that was hitting me really hard.  So I wasn't in a great mood even though I was thrilled to see teacup. I had been wishing I could give her and Master more quality alone time as we all shared a hotel room so not like I had a place really to go when I was feeling so miserable because of my period.  But we made do and I got to see her and Master play and that is always fun to see! Yay me for getting to be a voyouer!

It is always hard to leave each other, but we look forward to November when she will be here for Thanksgiving! I can't wait to have her here for such a special holiday.

On our way home from our trip Master and I stayed at an amazing hotel in smaller town in Nebraska. Out of all the places we stayed it was the most beautiful and roomy...just packed with lush amenities.  We were both wishing we weren't so tired and staying one more night so we could have really enjoyed it.  It was really gorgeous room with a really good price too for such a plushy room.

What else is going on....

I have lost 20 pounds. Unfortunately my reasons for losing that weight is mostly due to pain making me not very hungry.  I am still struggling with my sciatica, but I have an appointment at the end of the month that I really am crossing my fingers will show us the reason I have been having problems....which is one leg is longer then the other.  But if that is the reason then there are solutions I think that we can work with to help get me back on track and feeling better.

Another good thing....I have been having nightmares 4 to 6  nights a week and my therapist found a drug to help block them. I have taken it only 2 nights, but I haven't had any so far and look forward to see it continue to work as sleep has been amazing for my mood/depression.

We have been really feels like we are really running around quite a lot and we things are busy. Busy is good. But we are very tired and so that means I have been going to bed much much earlier then I ever have and trying to get more sleep. The last 2 nights, I have for sure and very thankful.

Overall I hope to be able to get back into the blogging swing of things.....just trying to catch up and breath a little first.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...