Sunday, June 19, 2011

Review: The Violet Ripple Anal Plug

Master and I went out to dinner one night and on the way home we picked up our snail mail. In the mail box was package. Neither us could recall ordering anything, so I puzzled over the return label to see who it was from. It was so discreetly packaged I couldn't figure it out. My eyes lit up when it dawned on me that it had to be the anal plug from Eden Fantasys!

We had just talked that morning over breakfast about setting aside time the next morning to play because our weekend was going to be incredibly busy and we wanted time to connect and enjoy each other. So the plug arriving the day before we were going to play seemed to be perfect timing.

I was really surprised by how pretty the anal plug is. When I took it out the package and set it on the table it looked so pretty just sitting on the table and well - it is sexy looking too. That made me want to play with right away. Every time I look at it sitting on my night stand I think, "oh yes lets play" - it just is so pretty and sexy. The Violet Ripple Anal Plug is an attractive color and elegant design. It is made of incredibly smooth Pyrex glass (no sharp edges, no seams, nothing that might cut or scrape) and it can be cleaned very easily. You can even put in the dishwasher. I washed it with hot soapy water - just like I was washing dishes (but just washed it alone of course.) It comes with a little drawstring bag to store it in. I like that as it gives it a little protection instead of just rolling around in the drawer that I store many of my sex toys.

I am not new to anal play. I really enjoy it even though it is something we don't do that frequently. Even though I'm not a beginner - I don't feel I am just able to slip a plug in and go. So when it came time to play, Master put plenty of lube on me and the toy. He slipped fingers in and out before trying the plug to help me relax a little bit.

The Violet Ripple's caused some uncomfortableness when it reached the widest point upon insertion. I would have to ask Master if he could stop for a moment. After taking a few breaths, I could relax and then he can continue pushing the plug in. After it slides in, it just feels heavy inside. It's made from solid glass, so it makes sense that it will be heavier than a rubber or silicone one. There is no give to the plug. Heavy feels good to me, like it won't come out as some of the other plug products I've experienced before.

I had it in for about an hour the first time just sitting and doing things. I even had an opportunity to wear it out in public and had no issues. The hardness of the glass might be difficult for some people to take but I do have some extra padding on my bottom so that might make a difference. I do notice the plug inside, but that isn't a bad thing to me. I actually notice it is there more because where it stretches and goes thin around the neck of the plug. I just feel that stretching even after it has been in a while. I become very sensitive to the feeling of it in me, so walking around, sitting or tending to things - I notice it. It is a good sensitive sensation to me where it turns me on.

After reading some of the reviews and comments on Eden Fantasys, there has been the worry about the base being too small. I LOVE it! I absolutely love the fact it doesn't have a wide base to it. I didn't have any problems with it slipping all the way in, nor do I get the sense I would ever have a problem with it doing that. I love how close it fits on my anus opening. Many of my previous anal plugs had a wide base on them that had a square or oddly shaped such as the one pictured below.

With previous butt plugs, the square base usually sat between my ass cheeks. When I walk with the plug, what does that do to the plug? It moves that base....moving it back and forth, back and forth - just like you are unscrewing it ... and yes that is exactly what ends up happening so that they come right out. It wouldn't matter what size the plug was either. I've had larger sizes than the Violet Ripple and they would almost always start to pull it out when I walked because of the movement of my butt cheeks moving the base and eventually pull it downward and out. Thankfully the Violet Ripple isn't that way. Although the hardness of the edges made me fully aware the plug was there - it never felt like it was going to fall out when I moved - even though it was heavy. One would think that with the additional weight of the plug, that there would be a greater tendency for it to fall out, but I didn't get that feeling.

Because of the smaller base, the Violet Ripple was harder for me to insert and remove by myself. Mainly this happened because my fingers get slippery with lube. So once I finally get my ass and plug lubed up, I have to make sure to clean off my fingers so that I can get a good grip on the plug to insert it. Because the plug is made from glass and has a smaller base, it kept slipping from my fingers when I had lots of lube on them.

When I found out I was allergic to latex, I was very disheartened as I had to throw out a bunch of my sex toys where I wasn't positive if they were silicone or not. Anal plugs weren't something I had replaced - yet. So I was really excited to have an opportunity to try out the Violet Ripple anal plug and I can tell you that I am not disappointed in the least. I can't wait to use it again and again. It is a sexy and a pleasure to use. I know it will get a lot of use.

*photos in the post are mine. To see better photos of the Violet Ripple Anal Plug please go to Eden Fantasys

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

I'm Coming Out

Is there any way to come out without having the Diana Ross song I'm Coming Out in my head? I don't think so....

Last year when both my Uncle and my former Master died, my depression really took a downward spiral and I sat in my doctors office and started crying. He called in the therapist from down the hall. And since that day - I have been seeing a therapist. I am so thankful for it. It has helped so much not only for my grief but just helped me with other issues I had going on.

I have not outted myself to her about the M/s relationship I have with Master, but I have told her about some of my past relationships - that I enjoyed kink and that I have been poly in past relationships. I also told her I was an escort. But she doesn't know anything about my current relationship dynamic. Master has been in support for me coming out to her about our relationship. But I just haven't been comfortable with it. Although I adore her and trust her to be very open-minded as she has been about everything I have told. I know bottom line if she feels something is harming me she will tell me. And I don't want to hear it if she thinks that some of my problems stem from our dynamic. Yes, we do think that some of my problems do stem from it because of the isolation and the dynamic creating co-dependency issues that cause a chain reaction of other issues such as I now have social anxiety issues that I have always had but now are amplified because of the isolation and because I do everything with Master.

A little history, I have done therapy in my late twenties to mid-thirties. Every therapist I came out to was very uncomfortable with the kink and D/s. It was the reason I stopped going as I felt it was making my relationship with my therapist too uncomfortable and I was sick of feeling judged by it so I stopped going even though I felt I still needed some help to sort through some things.

So there is that little voice sounding off inside me that I might be judged. The hard part is that I like my current therapist so much that I don't want to do or say anything that might hurt that connection I've made with her. While I realize she isn't like any of my past therapists the insecurity remains.

Bottom line, I am so thankful I finally gave in to seeing someone. My doctor had asked me repeatedly over the years if I wanted to go to see someone. I have been on anti-depressants for the last couple of years. So when we have our yearly review of medications, he asks if I want to talk to someone and I've always said no. Too many bad experiences and the feeling of being judged I had to wrangle the thoughts in my head about starting over with my life history with someone new. As it was, it took almost 2 sessions to just do the intake with her.

But with last years events...I needed help. I am so thankful that my doctor pulled in my therapist and I am so fortunate that we've clicked. I mean really instantly I felt comfortable with her and I just started spilling. She made me feel comfortable and she is really good at giving me a perspective that works for me - in a way that makes me be able to see it. She gets inside my head really easily - knows how I tick. It is really amazing sometimes she knows what I am thinking when I feel I am sitting there straight faced but having an "Oh Shit" moment. She knows it too. She has helped me in communicating in difficult situations like with my father who is so hard to talk to - who has a knack for pushing my buttons. It's been incredible how she's helped me in so many ways.

So skipping ahead a bit. Several months ago Master started seeing someone local and it is hard to not talk about it - in therapy. It was hard not mention Master's girl. (I don't have a name to call her in this blog yet - something we will work on though) I've had some issues. Issues I felt my therapist could help me sort through. So with Master's blessing, I came out to my therapist about the poly.


She handled it AMAZINGLY!

It was that moment where I wished everyone was like her! Really every issue - the kink, the escorting - she has always handled so well. I asked her if she knew what poly was and she gave me the definition without having to go to a book or to the web. When I had told her about Kam and poly (early on in our sessions), we just went over things briefly. Ever since then I didn't know if she even knew what I meant when I mentioned poly before. I had explained to her that when I moved in with Kam, he was involved with more than one woman with all of our knowledge and consent. I discussed that I enjoyed it but also some of the issues I had with it. I told her towards the end of that relationship, I dated multiple men and women - again with everyone's knowledge and consent.

She told me that whatever is done between consenting adults she felt was fine as long as everyone was okay with it. (Insert gaping mouth expression.) No ridicule, no condemnation, no criticism. Then when I told her about Master seeing his girl, the same thing. No qualms, no judgment, no problem. She has really great views about poly. How I feel she gets it, stems from some of the things she has said to me about poly are the same things I've said to others who have approched me for advice. I guess sometimes it is hard for me to take my own advice, but hearing it from her has been good. She has a different perspective on other things though too, so that helps too to hear another view. She just in general has a wonderful view on poly which makes even more relaxing to open up and share. We had a whole rant one day when we were talking about sex and poly - and she said "Americans are just to uptight about sex."

She has some different views though that just wouldn't work in my dynamic so I've had to just politely nod. Will I out myself someday that I'm in the M/s, bdsm lifestyle? I really don't know. Master says I will. But I do know she has been great about everything else I have told her so part of me thinks she'll get it. Of course there is the other part of me that worries about how all of this will be seen in the big picture. I just know that there have been times when I just sit there looking at her like wow are you for reals? I have lucked out to have such a great therapist and glad I have come out to her about the poly.
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