Friday, July 17, 2009

On a Jet Plane...

I am leaving to go out of town for 2 weeks today....and I doubt I will post here. But I do have a few posts ready to go over on the Domestic Servitude blog and I am sure my co-bloggers will have contributions too.

See you in 2 weeks!

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Slaves and Submissive in Same Poly Household?

There was a thread over on FetLife about submissives and slaves in the same poly household. And how it worked.

My answer...
I lived in a poly household that had slaves and those that identified as submissives. Most of the submissives never lived with us but a few did. Those that were submissive had more control or authority over their own life. Examples...they had safewords, often negotiated play, most of them made plans often without checking with him, they did what they wanted with their hair, they bought things without asking permission and many other things like that that allowed them freedoms and control over their own life. I, as his slave, didn't have safewords, had to check with him before making any plans, couldn't spend money without asking permission, had to ask to do anything with my hair - he had authority over all things in my life.

The submissives that lived with us seemed to often bend to his authority more often the longer they lived with with him. And those that would come spend a weekend or week would often bend to him and emulate how I served. But then after they left the house - they had authority over their own life again.

Some questions that were asked after the thread go on it's way....

So, would you all say that the submissives are more service-oriented than the slaves, or is that not quite accurate? How do their tasks/expectations differ?

In the household I lived in, the submissives weren't "more" service-oriented. It just depended on the person - if they enjoyed service or not. But most of the time they served when they wanted to but if they didn't feel like it then they didn't. The expectations were that the submissives had more freedom and choice.

Going to expand on that more here in my blog then I did over there...

There were time where the Master would ask a submissive to do something for him and if she was in the middle of something she said so and he then turned to me or the other slave and said, "go and do...." So with the submissive it was a request and with the slaves it was a command. Many of the submissives told me they didn't understnand how I could live like that 24/7. They couldn't imagine being at someones beck and call everyday - all day long.

Isn't there a ALPHA slave or submissive usually?

Not in the household I lived in. He was the boss.

And to add more again....

There wasn't a hierarchy. Because of people being there before others - it created some tensions but it didn't mean someone who was there first was more important or in charge. It just was that they were there longer which is actually a subject I want to write about some time and what that does to the new person coming in.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

The Reunion

Taking a little lunch break and reading The Reunion by Laura Antoniou again. You know that beloved t-shirt that just makes you feel good just by slipping it on. That is how I feel reading The Reunion. There is something comfortable and familiar about it that makes me not want to put it down. I think I have to say it is my favorite in the series. But of course I love them all.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Lectured Not to Have Sex

Always Aroused Girl is having a contest that involves adding your story of how sex was taught in your family at Beyond the Birds and the Bees.

I grew up in a home that sexuality was often on the far ends of the scales. It was nothing for my Mom to walk around nude. And for my parents to very affectionate in front of us kids - kissing and groping in the kitchen wasn't uncommon. I of course giggled at it as a little girl. But growing up I now appreciate that they could be so open with their affection and sexual attraction in front of us.

But at the same time we were told that sex wasn't something we needed to know about until we were grown up. And they really didn't want to talk about it.

I am not sure when it happened but eventually I figured it out that my Mom and Dad had to get married because they got pregnant with me. And as soon as I became aware the lectures came to not do the same thing. I heard all about the things my Mom and Dad had to give up because they had sex. But still it wasn't talked about what sex was or how it worked. And it did create a message for me that sex was bad - forbidden because it made you give up things that sounded like they were better and good.

All the while though still my parents still were very open with their affection for each other so it made me want to have that but just not tell them. So I learned about sex on my own, from girly magazines my Dad had stuffed in the back of his closet and from friends.

***If you have been a reader of this blog for a while you know that I left out stuff. Because my first sexual acts were as a little girl - unfortunately. So I really learned about sex in a way that caused my views of sex to be all over the place from feeling bad and shame to feeling pleasure and the desire for more.

Friday, July 03, 2009

Happy Cervix

Okay so yesterday I had a gynecological appointment and was seeing what I thought was suppose to be a female doctor. My normal doctor has left this office and went back to the old office (which I switched from when she did that). And that office is so much more busy so I knew if I wanted to get this done now - I might as well stay at my current office. So I said fine I'll just start seeing a new doctor. I made appointment they told me who I was seeing and I was like good - a female doctor. ended up being with her physician assistant - who is a male. I am so thankful they took my blood pressure before he walked in. Now he was nice...very nice but it did freak me. I have past medical issues with male doctors. And I also have white coat syndrome on top of that so internally I was freaking. I think he sensed my apprehension.

I came home from the appointment feeling just very upset - invaded and exposed. Now today I am fine. I feel fine about it. He was a nice guy. He was really trying SO HARD to make me feel comfortable with him. Really hard. And I can go to the point of saying he was trying too hard. And laugh about it. Really it was amusing.

The nurse and him were waiting outside my door - they knocked before I was completely undressed. So they were waiting. And I could hear them but I don't think they knew that I could hear what they were saying. And she says kind of softly to him "wait until you go in here this lady smells so good." And so they walked in and she took a whiff and says, "You smell so good" and turns him like see I told you. And he said it does. He then starts asking me normal questions and age was one of them. I say 41 and he says really? He has a look of disbelief on his face. HE then says he can't believe I am 41. The nurse agrees. And explained she had asked me how old I was 3 times because she just couldn't believe it and kept having 31 in her head so kept writing 31 on the chart. And he agreed that he thought I was in my early 30's too. So he started off good.

He eventually gets to the task at hand and says I have a little discharge. I said I normally have discharge right before my period and I am going to start any day. And then he....instead of just saying okay he goes into that all women have discharge and are "moist" it is just part of being a woman. But he mentions the word "moist" about 4 times. Now just reading that back - it might sound like he is a pervert...that is maybe getting off down there. But really truly when you hear this guy talk he is totally sincere and you can tell he loves his job and helping people. He just is that type that really wants to help heal people. Really he was just trying to make me relax and not feel self-conscious which really worked because I almost got the giggles. I couldn't see my nurses face but I so think she had to be near giggles too.

We had to do multiple tries to get the speculum in the right angle. Which really for me was the part that made me feel very invaded and exposed. But once he did he said, "Oh yes there is your cervix. It looks very good. It looks like a happy cervix." I kid you not he said I have a happy cervix. He said it several times.

After I got dressed, he came back and really spent a lot of time talking with me. And if I stay there I am sure he will be the one I see more then the regular doctor. So now I have to decide if he made me feel comfortable enough that I can get past the male medical issues I have or switch back to the old office and know it will be a month waiting to get in and see my old doctor. Where this clinic I can call and they can often get me in the next day or at least in the same week.

Although I came home and wanted a good cry, today thoughts of the appointment made me laugh. I mean how could I not...I have a happy cervix.
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