Thursday, October 31, 2013

Fainted During Play

This past weekend we were at a local event and I just briefly mentioned something that happened to me years ago.  I went to look in my blog to see if I could find mention of it and I couldn't find it. I thought it happened in 2001 with a play partner, but couldn't find it so thought I would share. 

I had been in the scene for about 7 years when this happened.  I had played before and not ate all day so really didn't think anything of doing it again. I mean I knew that it was a risk and had heard that you should eat, but I never had a bad reaction - except one time.

My play partner put cuffs on me and attached me to a St. Andrew's cross.  He was flogging me for a bit and then I started feeling clammy and dizzy.  I called to him and he came up to me and I said, "I think I am going to faint..." - and I fainted. I slumped and he grabbed me. Luckily I was attached to the St. Andrews because I could have fell on the hard floor near several pieces of equipment and possibly hit my head. He called a friend over and just as he was going to have her undo a cuff, I came right back.  He got me out the restraints and sat me down.

After we talked to try to figure out what it could have been - running down a list of usual suspects in these kind of cases - locking knees, meds, illness, fatigue, not eating and so on. I realized at that moment - I hadn't ate. We still don't know if that is the case, because as I said above I had played without eating all day before and never had a bad reaction.  But this time I did.  My play partner was fairly new to the scene so he actually was happy to have a learning experience from the situation. Upset I fainted, but glad to see what happens and what to take away from it.  From that scene on -  I made sure I ate before hand so I learned too.  I have never fainted again.

I have a good friend that faints from playing quite often - just because her body goes into shock with pain play.  Her body just doesn't know how to handle the assault of the sensations and goes into shock.  So she has to negotiate and really educate her top before playing.

My point of telling this story is....things happen. Sometimes we can prepare for them. Sometimes we can't. Sometimes things happen and there is no explanation of why.  It is okay.  Do your best to learn from it and move forward.

Here are two links to learn more about illness and fainting during play:
Facing Sudden Illness During Play
Assessment and Treatment of "Fainting" During BDSM Play

Monday, October 28, 2013

Service to Enhance His Life

I think a pitfall of  D/s and M/s relationships is thinking that you have to do x,y, z to actually be "doing it right."  But really there is no right way to do a D/s or M/s relationship.  Do what works for you.  Do what fits in your relationship naturally.  Finding protocols, rules or service can only be figured out by the people in the dynamic because you live your lives day in and day out.  It doesn't need to be complicated.  You don't need page after page of rules or protocols.  Start small and simple and build on it.

It is easy to take things people say they do and make them work for you.  A protocol I have read is about the submissive walking on the right side and one step behind the dominant. Now why people do that - I am not so sure.  But we have taken that rule and made it into a practical service I do for Master. He has me walk on his right side because he is hard of hearing and that is the side of his good ear. So I walk on the right side so he can hear me. He didn't create this rule because it is what "slaves should do" - he created it because it makes his life easier. So figure out how to make rules, protocol and service that enhances daily life.  

Here are some examples of service that I do in my dynamic that might help spark ideas for your dynamic...

  • Chauffeur/Driver - I do drive Master very occasionally
  • Domestic Service - I clean, do laundry and cook
  • Secretary - I take notes for his business, do filing, manage household bills, sort mail, shred paper work and so on
  • Personal care - give him massages, cut his toenails, give manicures, trim eye brows/pluck eye brows, trim his goatee, shave him, at times I will wash him and/or wash his hair, make sure he takes all his meds and vitamins daily, set out his clothes, take care of his clothes - such as buttons replaced, hems falling, boot-black/polish shoes, pack if we are traveling
  • Yard Work
  • General Catch-All - such as general household repairs - such as the sprayer on the sink wasn't working and so I replaced it or maybe Master needs something I can't do then I research or handle parts of it - if not all of it - such as we need to get a bush/tree pulled out of our backyard then I will be calling around to get prices and see what the process is like, cleaning the inside of the car, or shopping for gifts or making them if he wishes
  • Companion - I often ride with Master even if it is him going into a meeting for an hour and him just wanting me there when he gets out. He likes to snuggle up on the couch watching a movie or playing a game - he enjoys my company and wants me available to be able to relax with him.

I am sure I am forgetting things, but this is just a starter list to get you thinking about areas of service. You also might want to read this post over on our website about the authority Master has over my life.

As always talk. I suggest if you are submissive reading this that before implementing any type of service - talk to your dominant.  See if he/she wants it  - because if he/she doesn't then it isn't really serving them.  To help figure out what areas will make the most sense in your dynamic -make lists of everything that the dominant does everyday for a couple of days to a week and then go through together and see if there are things the submissive can do to help serve the dominant.  Be realistic and practical, but don't forget you can add some spice to things if you both desire mixing the things you fantasize about with real life.

Sunday, October 27, 2013


I have been blogging 13 years today. 

Here is my first blog entry....October 27, 2000

Blogger Here I Come...

This is my first post to my blogger...woohoo lol

I created a new name for myself today and so with that step into a new direction...I decided to creat this blogger and start posting my thoughts, rants, raves and whisperings.

I created a new name that fits me better then I think any other name has - Danae. There is a painting by Gustav Klimt titled Danae. I have been drawn to it for years. Here is a link to a picture of the painting:

I did a search trying to find out what the painting meant...Who Danae was....And I found out that she is the mother of Perseus in Greek Mythology. When doing a search on Danae I came up with a site that told the meaning of names...and it had Danae listed.

It is what made me see that the name Danae was meant for me....

Here is what it read:
The name of Danae gives you a clever, quick, analytical mind, but you suffer with a great deal of self-consciousness, lack of confidence, and much aloneness because of misunderstandings. Your idealistic and sensitive nature gives you a deep appreciation for the finer things of life and a strong desire to be of service to humanity. There are times when you experience inner turbulence at your inability to say what you mean. It is far easier for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings through writing than verbally. You find pleasure in literature, in poetry, and in your ideals and will turn to them when you feel you have been misunderstood. You are deeply moved by the beauties of life, especially nature. Because your feelings run deep, you must guard against the ups and downs, being very inspired one minute, then moody, reserved, and depressed the next. Your reactions to people vary according to how you feel. You tend to be secretive and noncommittal about private matters, yet at times you will talk effusively in order to hide your self-consciousness or to lead others away from personal subjects. You are inspired by encouragement from others, yet suspicious of their intent. You crave affection but seldom find anyone who understands your nature. Physical weaknesses would show in your heart, lungs, or bronchial organs.

Those above words describe me almost too well.....

So today I created the name Danae and start a new path....

Good Night...

peace & serenity,

Tuesday, October 01, 2013


Here is a conversation we had tonight...

I am perving on porn and send Master a link to a photo....

me: Do you see something familiar in this photo...?
Him: Oh well it was only that one time
me: Master, she is pregnant....are you sure there isn't something you want to tell me?
Him: Well I do have a confession I booked us ticket for Maury Povich

The photo had a pregnant woman on a bed that had our headboard.
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