Submission is not a Gift

I wrote this 11/9/00

Submission is not a gift to me.

I am an artist. When I do my art I am not giving it to someone as a “gift.” Yes, it is nice that someone else enjoys it, but it is not something I do for another. I do my art because I need too.

I need to submit. I need to serve and eventually surrender.

When I was owned – I did not believe that my service to my Owner was a gift. It was my duty. I consented to his Ownership and Dominance and thus had the duty to serve him. I gave consent because I needed to submit.

I do believe there are some Dominants out there that can compel a submissive to submit. If she did not have that in her nature though – have that desire or need – then she would not submit. When she is compelled, she is acting from what is within herself – from the nature, desire, and need thus doing it because something in her was sparked by that Dominant. When the Dominant compels her and she does submit, I do not believe she does as a gift. She does it because it is a part of her.

I do not think that getting up at 3am to run to the store because my Owner had a craving for Ben & Jerry’s to be a gift. It is a duty. I do not call putting in an 18 hour day for my Owner a gift it is the submissive serving her Owner. It is not my “gift” to my Owner. I need to serve and yes those things may not be fun but they are what I need to do to complete myself in my submission.