Friends

Music: This morning ~ Practical Magic Soundtrack/This afternoon ~ Holiday Sounds


I came home last night did a quick check of mail and went to bed. I am so tired. I feel like I have been going and going and I just want to go to sleep now. My body and mind knew it was time to crash. I am still very tired and relaxed a little today but also working on work.

Lets see if I can recap this week....

Tuesday came home from Kansas to start straight into work. Also had a little time to chat to Di and Ray online. That is the last time I chatted online this week and it is Saturday :( I tried to type up some journal entries from while I was away and I got too busy. I have like 10 things I want to do....need to write Lisa still. I know she was going through a stressful time and I wanted to know how things are going. And then I *still* have not wrote Laz back not sure that I can. I appreciate very much he wrote. It just took me back that he did. I have not been able to touch base with JJ in a while because I am so busy. And I can't even tell you when the last time Moni and I got together. To long that is for sure...probably September. Work has taken over my life. I have so many friends that keep writing me and asking me how things are and such and I just have been working so much that I am not getting to do the things to keep up with people and I am not liking that at all. I am very grateful for all my friends that are patient and supportive of me. You are the greatest.

On thanksgiving we went around the table and said things we were thankful for and I said my friends and family. Several of my friends are family to me. People I can call at 2am when something bad happened and say I need help and they would be there for me. I told Todd once when were discussing where I stood with him....that I did not need more friends. That what I was looking for was a relationship and so I did not need another friend. I told him later I would be his friend if that were all he wanted but that what I was seeking was a long-term relationship. He mentioned to me several times in arguments and discussions that I had enough friends and he mentioned it to Di a few times to that I had said that. I feel it irritated him because he really does not know how to be a friend. I mean I can see why he does not have friends if he treats his friends like he treated me.

Things need to write about pausing because all these things keep going through my mind...week, Thursday, not hearing from Nick in 2 weeks, Nov/Dec, Jackie, being in Kansas, art and I am sure there are other topics.

Wednesday worked from 7:30am to 2am. Thursday worked from 7am to 2am. Friday worked from 8am to midnight. I had someone write me who reads my journal regularly but that I do not know personally. He asked me how I could go out if I am working the long hours. That is hard to explain but not at the same time. I have a job where I can be out with friends and still be working, if it is not too busy. If it is busy there is no way I can do that. Once things are set in place for the day though then I can go out. I am still working and busy but that cuts some of my work out. So like on Wednesday night I went out with some friends for drinks and appetizers and just hung out and talked but I still worked that whole time. It is easier to go out with friends that know about my work and are in the industry. I went out with friends that were in the industry on Wednesday and then on Friday had lunch with another friend in the industry. So it is nice it is flexible but still at times hard to schedule fun in to my day. Usually it is last moment like it was on Wednesday it just kind of happened that I was in the area when these 2 friends called me and asked if I wanted to join them.

Thursday - Was a day from hell. I can't explain it any more. I mean from the time I got up one thing after another went wrong. Most of them business related. It was a good workday overall but just came up to one hurtle after another and had to figure out what to do to get over it most of the time just jumped and did our best. I know Thursday and this week has not been great for Di and I feel bad for not being there for her more. And I think Thursday Lisa had some things going on that made me think of her often. It has been raining here most of the week to and that just makes me feel even worse. Mara and another friend of mine though helped me out so much by running an errand for me that made them go downtown which I know Mara hates driving downtown. I really appreciated all their help though!

Friday - had a work meeting. Work was slow today and I was actually thankful. But I still had lots to do and then had lunch with a friend. We did not have as long as lunch as the last time we got together for our monthly bitch session lol But we also did not have as much time. I then had to run to Fairlawn for work. Kam went with me. He was surprised how much closer Fairlawn is to us then like going to Mayfield area. The shopping in the Fairlawn area is great. I wanted to go shopping but we just went for a late dinner and then came home I checked mail and went to bed.

Saturday - woke up at 5am and just started writing this blogger and then started checking mail - personal and work.

Just started writing more...again at 5pm.

I wrote Sir Nick on Tuesday night. I have not heard from him. And that is making me sad as well as worrying me. I know right now must be busy for him with is work. But I have not had an email from him - just saying he is okay or what not - but I believe he is reading my blogger. So that bothers me that he has time to read my blogger but not time to drop me an email to say I read your email and I will respond in a week or call you in a few days or what not. Because if you have time to read then you have time to send a one line email. Bitchy of me? I just am getting very frustrated. Kam told me once I would not make a good military wife and I always wonder if he is right. I hate not being in contact with my partner. I am an attention slut. :) It will be 2 weeks on Monday since I have talked to him on the phone. And even without the contact I still wish to be his just as much as I did after a month of talking to him. I still think he is just as great as I did then. I still feel the same I did as before when I do talk to him...none of the feeling have gone away over the distance and absence of contact. They have probably become more deeply rooted. I still want to go forward. I just need more contact then we are having and it is time for me to be with him in person. I need that.

Going to post this blogger for now and hit those other topics later. I need to do some work.

peace,
danae