hard to be a good judge of someone that you worship

Well it is Wednesday...well I guess Thursday now. I got up about 7:30am on Wednesday and I have been pretty much going until just now. And I could have been out dancing until late tonight, but with all the work I have going on I am not sure I would be able to function to do it tomorrow if I went out. I had fun with friends tonight. I should have been home working on the website instead. Oh well, it was a fun night and I really did need it.

Yesterday, I was in airports and on planes and then last night came home to have to work right away. I am thankful though Kam really helped out a lot last night. We had friends over but I pretty much hung out online as they chatted. Not as rude as it sounds. They came over to see Kam. It was just a bonus they got to see me lol

I wrote Sir Nick another hard email last night....after chatting with Di and Ray online about the things I had been thinking about. Ray and I had a good talk. We chatted about humiliation and weight issues and Sir Nick. He said to me last night..."you create very clear roles with people... you like to keep people well defined" -- I told him that I wanted Nick to be all roles and I meant that. My typing was horrible last night and Ray said something about it and I said I was not happy and tired.

While I was away, I had offline messages and emails from different guys who like me and want me as their submissive or to date me. And I know LOTS was going on with Nick and work so I understand but it still does not make it hurt less...that I do not get emails or messages from him. I open up my email box and wish that I would have just even a one-line email saying I am thinking of you...or I miss you.

Something’s Ray said to me:
"hard to be a good judge of someone that you worship"

It is true but I also trust that Nick is who he says he is without a doubt and I have had people wonder and ask me and doubt but I can't tell you how but I know for certain he is real and is who he says he is...he is all the qualities he has described and that I have found out on my own by getting to know him online and the phone. I do worship him already. I do that with the ONE. I worshipped Kam when first here. I worshipped Todd.

"you're a rollercoaster when it comes to this guy"

I am not sure I agree with that one. I feel very calm with Nick. I mean Ray was not around when I was with Todd LOL Then he would know what a rollercoaster is like with me lol

"you need to see him... you need to look into his eyes. I don't think that is too much to ask."

I agree.

I miss Sir Nick a lot and it is time.....for things to go forward.

peace,
danae