Sounds

Well it is a little after midnight and I just got home. I have been running around all day with work, errands, and just going out with friends. I probably pushed a little to hard today and will need to take it easy tomorrow.

I am very tired and need to write Sir Nick my good night email:)

Questions...I am going to answer some questions each week....some serious...some not......

This week's questions....

1. What book are you reading now? The Forgetting Room
2. What's on your mousepad? My mousepad is leather of course:)
3. Favorite sound? Children laughing, His voice, and of course throwing in something for the kink side.....crack of a whip, thud of a flogger, click of a lock, clinking of chains :) just a few things :)
4. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Yes I do....all of them have had meaning. Ivan when I first came to Cleveland....given to me by my ex husband and has special meaning. Then Ellington...Jackie gave me Ellington. And now Oliver...Kam gave me Oliver for my Birthday.
5. Storms: cool or scary? scary

More comments...The book I am reading now....the forgetting room was given to me by Todd the first day I met him. I also have Illusions by Richard Bach started and bought The Alchemists by Paulo Coehlo last week.

Favorite Sound...I put children laughing because tonight I heard children laughing. Not just a little laugh that giggle. And it made me smile. His voice of course I love...you should see my face when he calls. The last time he called I was just so happy to hear his voice I burst into tears lol He always handles that so well, the tears. I let them go with him even more easily then I did with Todd. I remember once with Todd. Weird that sprang to mind right now. We had disagreement after disagreement the day before. I remember I am sure scaring Kam to no end....we got in the car. I did not have my cell with me and I called Todd to say can we meet. And as soon as I hung up I started crying so hard...sobbing uncontrollably and Kam asked what Todd did to me and I said nothing at that time...and said that I was screwing up and felt as though I was going to lose the best thing in my life. The next night Todd and I got together. And he had told me we would spend the night together but after we talked he said he had to leave. And I was so in little girl mode and I was saying no and kicking my legs on the bed saying no do not leave me and he kissed me on the head and walked out. Well, from where the door was at in relationship to the bed...I could not see the door. I just heard it slam. I heard it slam and it was like my world shattered. I sobbed. I cried and cried and cried. And finally I was really cold and needed a tissue so got up and turned around to go back to bed...and Todd was sitting on the couch right inside the door. He sat there and listened to me cry like that and did not comfort me. One of my big things...that has happened in the past is men in my life not being able to handle any crying. Jim would walk out of the room and pretend I wasn't. (which is making me think of a time I went into shock with Jim and he was annoyed ugghh men) And someone else in my life who was important also walked out when I cried lots. Anyway it hurt a lot to know that he had been sitting there listening and did not come comfort me. When I later told my close friends about it, none of us could figure out why he did that. *shrugs*

Storms are scary to me because of my past when I was little girl. And it gets better over the years.

Sitting here thinking about something that I am not going to write about *smiles* But it is weird how things happen right after I share with someone that it is going to.

BTW I never mentioned this on Tuesday or Wednesday. I had been very worried about something Di was going through and it worked out. :) Still some hard time ahead but she deserves to be happy.

peace,
danae