La la la la la la la la

I just thought I would write a little since I am up and not able to sleep. I am feeling a little better. I have pretty much stuck to my bed for a week now. While stuck in bed I have been thinking thinking and thinking of course.....oh no! I have wrote some too - not much because even holding a pen there for a while hurt.

I am trying to (as I have been for weeks now) figure out what to do with my life. I have no idea still what I am going to do. I had someone recently say that he wanted to sweep me off my feet. And that is exactly what I want right now. Would most say that is the thing for me right now? No, they would not.

I do not remember what movie it was that I was watching that said....

"If love was a choice who would chose love since it is such an exquisite pain."

It is true....love is not a choice. Or I would have stopped loving him by now. March 25th, 2001 was the first time he contacted me. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday and then other times if feels like it was years ago.

I am trying to figure out why I love this man still. He hurt me really like no one ever has hurt me and I still feel love for him. I can think of the things he did and said and know they were wrong. I remember discussing them with Di and other friends and everyone agreeing that what he did was wrong and he was screwed up. She called him an asshole probably more then I did and all this makes no sense. And through this all I still have the images come to me the first time I met him....it is a slow motion picture in my head and it hurts so much. The spot on my breasts hurts tonight. I always wonder why it hurts sometimes and not others........

A song I can't get out of my head lol....

Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

I just can't get you out of my head
Boy your lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy it's more than I dare to think about

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

I just can't get you out of my head
Boy your lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy it's more than I dare to think about

Every night
Every day
Just to be there in your arms

Won't you stay
Won't you lay
Stay for ever and ever and ever and ever

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

I just can't get you out of my head
Boy your lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy it's more than I dare to think about

There's a dark
Secret in me
Don't leave me locked in your heart

Set me free
Fill the need in me
Set me free
Stay for ever and ever and ever and ever

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

La la la la la la la la
(I just can't get you out of my head)
La la la la la la la la
(I just can't get you out of my head)
La la la la la la la la
(I just can't get you out of my head)
La la la la la la la la
(I just can't get you out of my head)

Good night....

peace,
danae