Saturday, September 11, 2004

Thoughts on BDSM and service...and more

I was reading Mistress Matisse’s blog…she posted a prayer. It is one of those that gets posted all over the place every so often. I have seen it for years.

I actually found the post talking about the prayer more interesting then the prayer. The post states the prayer has nothing to do with BDSM. And I agree with that. (Which I will get to in a moment.)

But first the prayer (which to me is more of a poem)…It, to me, reads as someone who has first come into D/s maybe….it is romantic hearts and flowers. It equates to that giddy feeling we get when we first met someone that just makes us all fluttery inside.

That being said if you break the prayer apart and see the mindset behind the prayer– I can see how it relates to a D/s or M/s relationship within reality. It shows mindfulness of serving and learning to come into that service with grace, devotion and dedication. All those things together bring a spiritual quality. It is that spiritual or even Zen quality that comes in the quietness of knowing you are being who you are suppose to be. And those feelings I can relate to in my relationship with Master.

I know I have said affirmations and written reflections that say similar things about my relationship with Master. I know that I have written hearts and flowers poetry to my Master and even posted in my blog for all to read. I am a sappy romantic person at times. And I hope that no one uses it against me like has been done with the person who wrote the prayer/poem.

I do hate that some people starting out (well heck even those who have been doing it a while) in D/s tend to take those prayers, the submissive creed and nine levels of submission and think that is what living 24/7 as a submissive or slave is about. When in reality most of those were probably written in the new stages of a blossoming D/s relationship….so again during the hearts and flowers stages. And again, I don’t have anything against hearts and flowers, I just wish people would open their eyes and see it is romantic hearts and flowers - which in reality is usually only a little tiny part of life.

And that is where I have a problem with Matisse’s post. Because I don’t feel she is seeing it for what it is….basically a love poem with a D/s twist. I also feel she is comparing apples and oranges in her post.

What the post talks about throughout is BDSM and I think the prayer is really geared towards service oriented D/s or M/s. Although Dominance and submission fall within the BDSM acronym - I consider BDSM and what the pray to be talking about different. To me she is comparing apples and oranges. They both are fruit but both are different fruit.

BDSM is all the kinky fun stuff to me. It is the scenes, sessions, play time…all the things that are the kinky goodness. It turns you on – makes you hot and wet. But what the prayer is talking about is the service - the dedication to that service and finding serenity in serving. (which actually at times can turn me - make me hot and wet.)

Fulfilling ones nature and calling to me are reason enough to be doing M/s or D/s. And although SM most of the time makes me wet, I still - even in that moment- am in service to my Master. And serving him is…my calling.

If a person says or writes a prayer or poem or even a few lines to meditate on to gain focus in their service, I say go for it! And I say to people reading it….we all live this lifestyle differently. Some are in it because is it who they are and others do it for fun. And neither are the wrong way to do it.

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