Thursday, February 12, 2009

New Chapter...

Poly is one of those things that has just always felt natural to me. As a little girl I drew floor plans for houses that had more then one bedroom for the "wives." I don't know where I got idea that a person could have more than one wife as I was never exposed to anything like it. I would dream up stories to go along with the floor plans - dream of stories of the people that lived there. And it was always good feelings of cooking together with other co-wives and laughing. Just lots of love and laughter in the house. So when I was exposed to poly within the BDSM community - I really didn't blink or think twice about it being right for me. Because I knew it was right for me.

So as I have written about before I was part of a poly household and I had many good times but I also had many bad times. Things weren't always handled very well. When I moved here with Master, he knew of my poly nature and although he had never explored it - poly appealed to him. But he also knew although I am poly, I wasn't ready to be actively in a poly relationship - at least for a while. He also is a firm believer in establishing and creating a solid foundation in one relationship at a time. So he wanted us to a certain point in our relationship before ever even started discussing or moving towards poly.

I feel very secure in our relationship. I love Master. I am happy to serve him and be his property. I feel we accomplished a lot of what we wanted to in our relationship. Not to say we aren't still growing and don't have places to go in it - we do. But we aren't lacking in our relationship. It is really good. And we are just really happy in our relationship. So recently in crept thoughts of Master with another woman - I had those thoughts before but it was different this time. The thoughts continued seeing another serve him and seeing another with us. From kinky thoughts to very vanilla thoughts of grocery shopping together as a family. I have had many fantasies through the years but I realized several months ago there was a shift in me that made me think of poly now - actually as a part of our reality. I just kept the thoughts to myself as mulled them over - thought about how I felt about my past poly relationships and although I don't feel I am totally past some of the issues, I was able to work through a lot of them. I know Master wanted to kind of wait to see if that happened - to see if my feelings about poly shifted a little as I was pretty bitter about it when we first got involved. But now I was seriously giving thought to Master having a possible play partner or even us finding someone who would live with us. Just like the stories I made up as a little girl of sharing time with other wives in the kitchen some of my favorite memories from the poly household is of doing chores with the other slaves.

So several nights ago - I brought it up to Master. He has never done poly and really his main concern is that the poly relationships he observed - they seem damage the relationship. And he doesn't want our relationship damaged at all. So there are many conversation going on - and will continue to go on. He has heard many of the bad experiences I have had (he heard the good things too). So we discussed some of those bad experiences again and how to not repeat those. But most of it is common sense such as having safe sex (that wasn't always the case in my past poly relationships unfortunately.)

And so we are beginning a new chapter of our path together as Master is going to begin pursue other relationships in addition to what we share together - and maybe someday with someone else if it happens to work out that way. This is going to be a slow process as we continue to communicate with each other and see where it takes us. We know it won't happen over night. But if you happen to notice that he/we are starting by changing profiles - you now know why.

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