Monday, June 29, 2009


My answer from questions on FetLife about...isolation...again...

are you isolated? yes

In what fashion has your master isolated you in the past? When I walked in the door for the first time, my id, bank card, cash - basically whole purse was given to him. In the 6 years of living with him that hasn't changed. He controls those.

For a while when first here....all my clothes were locked in a closet. Was caged often, was chained to the bed. Cut off from tv, newspaper, phone and the computer. Wasn't allowed to leave for longer periods of time. Most of that has changed but still go through periods where it is like that.

Current things in place... I don't have a job outside Master's home.

I have to get permission to make any phone calls - even if it is to call in a perscription or call for hours to a store. All family and friends that calls, he answers the phone and then decides if I am allowed to talk to them (and sometimes I am not). Most of my lifestyle friends usually get okay to call first by writing me and asking if I have time for a phone call.

All snail mail addressed to me - either get opened by him first or if it doesn't I have to get permission to open it.

I don't leave the house without permission and it is a very very rare occasion when I leave the house without him.

I don't have local vanilla friends, we have local vanilla "couple" friends that we do things every so often. And I know they think I am odd - mostly because I don't have a career. So they are very quiet towards me. I don't have local lifestyle friends either because there is no formal community here.

When I was first here, he had a password for the computer and I didn't know it. So he would sign me on open the windows I was allowed to be in and then limit my time. After a while, he allowed the computer back into my life more. Now my computer time is pretty free. And it can't interfere with my focus on him. If it does, it is taken away.

When I moved to be with him, I had a car and we got rid of it. So I have no car. I rarely drive. Master just has me drive enough so that I "remember" how in case of an emergency.

Did you like the isolation and trapped feeling? Most of the time I like it. Especially at the beginning I loved it. There are times now where I miss things I used to do in my life before Master. I belonged to a book club. I did lots of activist type activities. The town I lived in before Master has a very active lifestyle community and I was a part of that. So I really went from being a social butterfly to being cut off from everything and everyone. And yes at times I miss that. Other time I wish and crave more isolation.

What is the purpose of isolation? slow me down as before Master I was going and going and going with one thing after another to do, help gain focus, to create a dependency on him

Was it unintentional? (i.e. the slave just letting everything else in their life go because of hyper-focusing on situation/relationship in front of them) It was intentional. Some of the side-effects were unintentional.

What are some benefits to isolation? I think for us it helped create the foundation of our relationship. It helped create no other choice for me but surrender and obey. I know it would have taken a lot a longer if I had worked outside the home and had lots of interaction with people.


  1. While not for me, I do enjoy hearing how different 24/7 relationships are structured. I don't judge and I know that these people do choose to be in these relationships. I just try to understand the psychology of how and why they find fulfillment in these situations.

  2. agreed, It's a really interesting concept but not a way we could live. But then i suppose it depends on what you are used to and what suits the needs of you and your Dom. From what you've written i can see the attractions though, and as long as you are both happy which i think shows through thats the main thing, some people might not get it, but there's always something some people don't get !


  3. Dear Danae,

    Thank you for a very interesting and personal point of view on the subject of isolation. i tend to very much agree with your last paragraph.

    Best wishes,
    slave freya


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...