Monday, May 21, 2012


Do you as a slave feel you are entitled to anything?

First what does entitled mean to me: the right to receive something or to do something.  Within Owner/property or Master/slave type relationships - this can become a concern for some.  

When I first started thinking about this topic, I could not think of anything I view that way - I can't think of what I might be entitled to within this relationship. But then...I came to thoughts and emotions. I guess I always feel I am entitled to them. It is just what I do with them that I don't have a claim over. I am not entitled express them anyway I chose.

I don't feel I get tripped up with entitlement as much now as maybe I did when Master and I were first together. I know that there were some tangible things I felt I was entitled too - and it would trip me up and smack me in the face when I realized that is what I was feeling and the mindset I had about those things. Such as  feeling I was entitled to panties during a period because otherwise it might be messy.  Now I still want panties during my period at this moment.  I don't even like to be just in panties when I have my period. It makes me feel uncomfortable - like I might bleed somewhere and having an extra layer of clothing will protect me. My period as it is so erratic I might bleed all over despite having a tampon in so having panties and clothing on top of them always makes me feel more secure. But I know I am not entitled to that. Master could tell me to bleed all over and clean up after myself as I go - in fact he has a fantasy of making me wear white and bleed on it. 

Another tangible that tripped me up at first....I love seafood and Master hates it. Because I love seafood it was hard at first to give it up. Now it isn't as if Master says no seafood EVER.  But it is not a norm on our grocery list as he hates seafood and hates the smell of it cooking.  So now he has given me times when he goes out of town to have seafood. And there has even been times he has purposely taken me someplace that serves seafood so I can have a seafood fix.  It is healthy food I miss and it is something I wish I could eat more of but again I am not entitled too it. But I am sure if I wanted too I could have twisted this into something I am entitled too because well it is healthy for me and you are taking away something that is good for me. I didn't do that but there are things like that I can see where if I got really pissy about it - I could twist into away - where I am "entitled" to it.  I don't but I can totally see where it could trip me up and cause problems if I let it. I get to have what Master wants me to have and even then it can be taken away at any moment so I am always thankful that he allows me to have some things like seafood at all.  

A couple of friends and I were having this discussion of entitlement once long long ago and one friend pondered if entitlement could lead to anything positive in the relationship. I and the other friends said no - that we couldn't see it doing any good. But our friend that brought up the topic said she felt that in some relationships it might be positive....such as they were entitled to feeling pride in a job well done that it helped motivate. If they knew they did a good job they would be allow to feel pride then it could motivate them to do the very best work possible. I guess I can see that.

I can see that but again I feel even for me that is a fine line. Master might want me to take pride in something but he also doesn't want me to get a big head and feel I am all that an bag of potato chips on whatever it is I am doing for him.  He wants me to be humble and gracious that I am allowed to serve him in success and failure. But I can see where it might help motivate some people.  

I know that when I get in a mindset that I am entitled to something - then it will trip me up. I am thankful that for the most part - I don't get tripped by that often but every once in a while I trip on things that are old issues. So always good to keep coming back and examine things. 

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