Lolita Wolf posted an answer to How much pain can you take? And she had a quote from Joseph Bean, "Bottoms lie." I was thinking of it in terms of overall relationships -- what we want in a relationship, what we desire in the moment or long term. And it isn't just bottoms, it is submissives, it is slaves, it is dominants, tops and Masters too...heck it is everyone - lifestyle or not. We go into the relationship thinking it will be one way - believing we can do all the things we desire and how we picture the relationship in our head, but it just doesn't happen that way. Reality of doing and even just being always changes. Being a slave is nice in theory. Even just negotiating a scene with a play partner is nice in theory. Every relationship is nice in theory. But reality can change it all. Often what we think and desire is too much for reality. It just can't fit. Or as Lolita said, "their fantasies are bigger than their realities." All that said makes it kind of sound depressing....but actually I enjoy my reality. It makes me feel so at peace to accept reality. Because things don't always fit in reality doesn't make our life less exciting. It is an amazing journey even keeping it real
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