Here is an example of our house rules....again every house or dungeon might have different rules this is just an example of ours.
House Rules
* RSVP - we need a number for drinks and such. If you are going to arrive late, please let us know. (Reason for them letting us know if they were getting there late is because at the beginning of each party we go over the rules again and some additional things that are too complicated to explain in writing such as cleaning certain furniture if using it to play. We wanted to make sure we had people that could explain those things to them when they arrived in case my dominant and I were playing at the time.)
* Arrive in street clothes - but feel to change when inside or strip down to naked. Just keep it vanilla when you are outside our home
* No touching other people without consent. No touching others toys without asking. We will have toys out that are available for use, but please clean and put them back after using.
* Be responsible for your play. We aren't going to police you so if you are playing with someone new, please make sure you negotiate and decide how you are going to stop a scene by either using good old fashioned communication or a safe word.
* Be aware of noise. No need to keep your screams muffled, but also no need to scream your head off and get the cops called on us.
* Be aware of others playing around. Keep conversation and socializing to the designated areas
* If wanting privacy before, during, or after play - close the door to the room. But please keep in mind people might be waiting for the space so don't be a hog.
* Speaking of pigs, clean up after yourself. We have anti-bacterial wipes in all the rooms, wipe down toys and equipment. All other areas will be explained at party on cleaning procedures.
* Sex is allowed, but rules will be explained at party. We have condoms, lube and some sex toys available for use. Clean up will be explained at party.
* We have a house first aid kit and will show you where it is when at the party
* Smoking only allowed on patio.
* No drugs or drinking alcohol allowed
* What happens at the play party stays at the play party. Please no sharing names and details of who and what was going on at the party.
* Bring a snack to share. Paper plates, napkins, utensils, and drinks provided. (sometimes we would order pizza or cake if there was a birthday around the time of party and we would include that on this that they bring a snack, but pizza or cake would be provided)
So I just typed that up from memory....it has been more than 10 years since I hosted a party, but I think I got the major ones. We had to put that drugs and alcohol on there as someone showed up drunk wanting to play and was doing inappropriate touching. He was just rude and loud to all our guests as well. I know it is big in most community settings to not use drugs or drink while playing. We really didn't have a problem with someone having a beer with dinner and coming to our party and playing. It was when they showed up drunk that it started to change the way we hosted.
What happens at the play party stays at the play party happened after attending our party some people would say something to someone who had not been invited and then that person would be butthurt and write my dominant or me upset. I have a blog obviously I like to share so when I went to parties or whatnot I would say I went to a party, but not say who or what happened except for me. I really had no problem someone saying on their blog they went to a party. They just needed to know what they were going to say who hosted the party and be okay with saying I am not allowed to say for privacy.
One that I would now add that there was no need for when I hosted parties is turn cell phones on vibrate/silent, no photos and no video recording. I know it is in this day and age, we are photographed and video recorded all over the place in the vanilla world, but having our photos taken in the BDSM world still can damage careers and relationships with vanilla family and friends.
The Space....We lived in a large 3 bedroom - 2 bathroom apartment. Our kitchen was set up for drinks, then we had dining room with a table set with snacks. People could help themselves to snacks throughout the evening.
We had a big square living area that had a dining room in one corner, a home office in another corner and then a living room area and reading area. In our home office area, we did have an area for play, but it was understood that they would be near the designated social area. People liked that area if they wanted to just have some light play with laughter. The living area was social and the reading area I had a wax station set up. I had crock pots with wax sitting on low table and then an area with plastic and layers of comforters covered with plastic again and then an old sheet over that.
We had 3 bedroom, usually all 3 were available, but occasionally there was only 2. One room was our "dungeon" - it had a stool, a chair and a portable/collapsible saw horse in it. It also had a shelving unit that had toys in bins and hanging from it. The other 2 were set as bedrooms. One bedroom was my dominant's and had a king size bed that had all sorts of attachment points around it. At the end of the bed, I had a several layers of flat sheets folded over so that people could pull up and use to lay on and then strip off after they were done. He also a dresser that had these loop drawer pulls that were good for bondage attachment and we usually put a a little bench I had in there too. The third bedroom had a full size bed in it and a chair. That bedroom we had set up for those that wanted to have sex mixed in their play. I had a basket of condoms, dental dams, gloves (for fisting/fingering) and lube. I also had sex toys that were toys that could be shared as they could be cleaned with bleach or sterilized. I asked that a condom be put on them though for added protection. I had those toys in a basket too. I had stack of towels and a stack of twin flat sheets. I picked up a bunch of twin flat sheets at Good Will - some even had smurfs and cartoon characters on them.
Someone using that room would take a sheet off the pile, put it down on the bed, add towels if they squirted, and then go about their business. After they would throw sheets and towels into the laundry basket, throw condoms and wrappers into the waste basket, and if they used toys, I asked they wipe them off with a wipe and put in another basket I had next to the dirty laundry so that I could clean them properly after. If anyone saw a toy in there they wanted to play with I had been known to clean them right then for them.
I stated in this post that, we had toys out that people could use. We did, it was mostly just homemade things or dollar tree pervertables. We did allow people to use some of our nicer toys, but we liked if they asked. We never had this happen, but I know it happened at some other parties - toys being stolen. So having your toys put away or not loaned out is quite common.
At our play parties, we usually got the ball rolling with some play because it seemed to help get things moving in that direction.
After people play, they would usually EAT! It made us all hungry. So we always had snacks, but sometimes adding in pizza, big sub sliced up, or hot wings. One time, I had nacho bar. We always had a bowl of some type of chocolate and a variety of drinks. Drinks included water, soda (usually coke, diet coke and sprite), and coffee as often people weren't leaving until the wee hours and some had 45 min to hour drive home.
Hosting a play party can sound like a lot of work, but really having people contribute to it makes it easier on you. Have people bring snacks. Ask those that have portable equipment to bring some. If you want more equipment, have a building party and get some people together to make some. Make it as easy as you can on yourself. I really enjoyed hosting as well as attending play parties in Cleveland. Here in our smaller community we haven't had much experience with them and it takes Master and I significant amount of time to feel comfortable around others that we would even play at a party. Sharing that bond we have with others can be hard at times - it is very intimate and can make you feel exposed. I doubt Master and I will ever host a party - only because our own home just doesn't have the room.
If you are wanting to be invited to a local private party, then all I can say is be patient and get to know people like you would any other time making friends and sharing experiences. Part 3 - will address questions to ask before attending a play party or things that might happen at a play party to ease your mind before you go to one.
[Part 1 of 3]
Interesting share related to BDSM, Thanks
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