Mistress DM

I have not written since Sunday. And I mentioned that to Di this morning and she got on my case lol I had to add that *grins*

Lets see....I guess I have not wrote much as I have been really busy with work. We are so busy this week I feel like I have not sat down for a moment. :) That is a good thing.

I have been reading slave girl's posts a lot lately. I go through times where I do not have time to read them and then other times where I crave to get the next one.

She had some friends staying with her that have started a D/s relationship. All the post talking about them and how they are evolving..how the submissive is evolving especially, I relate to a lot.

Here is the url for the slave girl diary....it is amazing. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/a_slaves_diary She is amazing. :) The post on the 7/28 really hit home. And then one she did today. Her friend had her first punishment. It made me think of past punishments. The most recent especially. I was mostly, I feel, disciplined with Todd but once very soon into our relationship I was punished. And I thought of it after I read that post. My first thoughts when reading the post how horrible it would be to be watched. Such a personal - intimate moment and be watched. I mean I understand they are very close friends but I am not sure I would get the same things out of it as I would being alone. I mean if Todd had done that punishment lets say in front of Di, I would not have reacted the way I did. I would not have cried. I would have probably made it worse and tried to fight him on it too. *hates thinking I would do that I think I would*

Impact. Weird how things Impact your life......

Sorry rambling. I am in a weird mood today....I feel distracted yet. There is nothing that is really distracting me. I mean today I do not feel like I am being pulled in a million directions like I had been feeling.

*shaking head* Took a drink of my diet coke. I was trying to decide if I could talk about something here because of all the people reading it right now ...it would give them clues that they do not deserve yet..nice of me huh? Anyway my next thought was "so what" I write it here and not like they would read it anyway. It made me wonder if anyone had really ever read the *whole* thing. Yes, there is LOTS here but just made me curious and then I realized there is a Dominant that has.....Mistress DM.

Here is someone who knows me better then I know myself at times. Who can obviously make me feel submissive. Can turn me on. Can control me. Has power over me. There is lots that intrigues me about her. And yet, I won't submit to her in even short term. Now looking at all that she does....to me, for me and so on I know I have people asking me why would I not be with her. Hell, I have had a few Dominants I have been in relationships with ask me why I do not get involved with her. And the only thing I can say is...I want a male.

Mind racing....I know not surprised lol....me neither....

Thinking of Don...I dreamed of the bathtub last night. It went between images of him and I - to images of someone else. I was kneeling next to the tub - over the edge. And the man was behind me fucking my ass and he would push my head down into the water. Then pull me up just to take a breath and push me down again and keep fucking me. Nice huh? *grin*

Well, something just happened that I am not going to write about, but it involves on of the Dominants I am talking to. There are several Dominants I am talking to and thinking about right now, but I am not writing here. I am writing about them in an offline journal - trying see which would be best for me - if any.

I need to get going busy....

peace,
danae