August 31st

Today is August 31st....

1991...I got married to Jim. It is kind of a blur. I was having LOTS of asthma problems - stress related is what the doctors thought. I remember bits and pieces. Standing at the alter with him looking away from the people in the congregation. I would move my arms and they would brush against the beading on my breasts and some of the beading would come off and Jim and I would watch it fall to the ground and bounce on the carpet in front of us. We got the giggles. And then we both realized at the same time that their was a video camera on us and so we looked over at it at the same time. LOL

When we were walking out after the Pastor announced Mr. and Mrs.....Jim gave a thumbs up. And the photographer caught it. It is a great picture it captures Jim's feelings so much in that picture.

I wonder what he is doing tonight. I am sure his mom had some tears like I did today. I mean I know Jim is not the one for me. I love him. But love is not enough. I remember when I said that to my parents and Jim's parents when I was unhappy and first thinking of leaving...and they both jumped down my throat. Telling me that I needed to just be a "good" wife....cook, clean, be there to support my husband. I did all that and more and still was not what made me happy.

I do not regret being married. I have given thought many times of going back. Jim is a GOOD guy. For the most part. He just does not get me most of the time. There are things about me that Jim knows that probably no other people know. But some of those things neither of us talked about ever. Strange.

We dated 6 years and were married 7 years. He was so romantic at times and would get in these moods where I got roses all the time and gifts just because and then he would not do anything for months.

Our 5th year anniversary was my favorite. He was incredible. It was the best time ever. So fun and romantic.

There are good memories and bad...and I guess I just do not want to forget this date ever. I was sad on my wedding day but also peaceful and probably most will not understand that except maybe Di.

Tonight Kam and I went to dinner...it is a FRIDAY night and BUSY. So everywhere went was an hour wait so by the time we finally settled on something it was 9pm and first thing I did was sit down and have a drink with a shot of rum and then Kam did not like his so had his too. So I felt it pretty fast since I had not at all day. So I am feeling kind of good still :) Fading some now. Just getting tired but in that horny mood kind of....it is not horny to me though it where I want to kiss and hug and touch and give a long slow blow job. *blushing* LOL

So of course I shared that with Sir Nick..... I think he approved *giggles* *blushing*

peace,
danae