Meet Joe Black

It is late and I am up of course. Tonight I watched the movie Meet Joe Black. I bought it the other night. I was in KMart talking on my cell to a Dominant. And I went through the movies and saw this one. It kind of leaped off the shelf at me :)

It is amazing to reread things or see things again and see things that you never saw the first time. Now the dialog in the movie that I have written about a few times is semi-fresh in my mind.

Wow....

It is amazing that dialog. I want to watch it again and write it all down. I want to capture it.

So once again here it is only this time fresh from seeing it about an hour ago....

The brother-in-law and Joe are having a conversation about love...

Explaining love....

The brother-in-law tells Joe that his wife knows all his dark secrets about him...knows all the good and bad. Please know I am not quoting this just doing it by memory - feeling. Joe, I think, asked like what and the brother-in-law said something like that it was not one set thing it just was that she just knew and still loved him. And when both people know each other so deeply that they know all the good and bad - that they are in love and it sets them free.....no fear. It sets them free.

And that is the part that is missing from my life....being set free with love. Which to me is loving without boundaries.

Morgan...I should have loved that way. She saw all the good and bad in me without me telling her ONE thing. She knew the pain in me. She knew my desires and needs. She knew all the boxes I keep inside locked up. She knew it all. She tried to show me her but I blocked it because it scared me. I think I knew it would free me and I was scared to be happy. Scared of what it would mean to love a woman...in society.

Jim...I talked to Kam briefly about him tonight and my love for Jim. I tried to love Jim like Morgan loved me. I saw all Jim's good and bad and loved him - it scared me and I even felt I was not a good person for him. Which just made me think of the scene with Anthony Hopkins is trying to tell Joe he cannot bring his daughter with him because he does not really love his daughter because he has not shown her the true self. And because he is not thinking of what is best for her. I actually think I was REALLY good for Jim. He did things he would have never done because of me. He also did things because he married me that he should not have - because it was not best for him. But best for his "Family." Anyway I feel I saw Jim. I accepted....

Accepted...wow there is that word.....

I always use love and acceptance together. :)

I accepted Jim. Thing was he did not accept me....

Okay Kam...

I showed Kam all of me. Kam has seen more of me that any sane person should have to. But I am not sure if Kam saw me without me telling him. That might hurt him. I think I started out unsure what to do with Kam. He was my Master and that was my focus...to obey and serve. Love...not sure when love came into play or even what kind of love it is with Kam. The love didn't set us free though. So was it really love?

Todd - oh gee - like it is a surprise his name is here. I let Todd see who I was even when it scared me he would walk away. He eventually did. The key though is....he did not *want* to see me. He just wanted to see what he wanted but not all of me. I am very intense...too intense at times. He did not want me see him but I did see parts of him. Which I am sure I could have LOTS of people argue with me on lol I did see parts of him and I loved him and accepted him. And I feel he did not accept himself though. And I have become a firm believer until you can accept and love yourself you cannot love another.

There are other people names who should be here....probably, but I need some sleep. Busy day for me tomorrow. I do not get a day off this week.

I have lots of things I need to write about with that movie. Parts where I will probably watch and pause and write about.

The thing she, the daughter, saw about him...was that he was not really who he said he was....

interesting huh?

She fell in love with an illusion....

gawd I know how she feels....

peace,
danae

ps: I cried today - long before watching the movie. Really cried. Though....I am not done and I know that. First time I cried. Wonder why now...I think I know though.

and another....

ps: I was in lots of pain today. Yes, I have a doctor appointment. Just need the nerve to go. Mistress DM asked if she needed to fly here to...i think she was implying fly here and drag me by my hair lol