an illusion too

I was just chatting with Di on aim and we were talking about Sir Nick. He is great. He is funny, smart, Dominant, kind and so much more. Yes, I did say kind. He worries about me when I am late meeting him online. He worries about how I am sleeping and if I am doing okay. He waits for me instead of me waiting on him lots of the time and he is very patient and understanding. He knows my schedule can change at a moments notice. I told Di, I am not sure I know how to act with someone that treats me good. He does. He treats me with respect and kindness. I like it and also on some level I just kind of shake my head in wonderment wondering when the other shoe is going to drop.

Di threw out a theory that I believe is probably right. She said are you worried he is an illusion too. And I am. I go through little things of wondering if he is really for real. I look for things to be wrong. And really there has nothing that has been wrong yet - I mean yes there are things I am not sure we are compatible on but we are not going to like ALL the same things.

He and I have talked LOTS of hours. We have chatted through IM's and then done many hours of voice chat. I guess I keep wondering when something will happen and it will turn bad.

The last 2 nights I have been kind of out of it. Lack of sleep catching up with me again. And he has been totally understanding and he made me smile and laugh lots. And BLUSH too lol But not like that is hard for him to do. He makes me blush all the time.

I guess I am going to post this I have like 3 other things I have started this weekend...thoughts and feelings on various subjects - love of course being one of the main ones lol that I want to post too.

Sir Nick is great and I am trying to not sabotage it or worry that things are not real. I just need to accept that maybe this time I really did find a good guy! Because he is a wonderful man and I am very lucky.

peace,
danae