Trust in M/s relationships

A few lists I am on have talked about trust in M/s relationships lately.....

So here are some my thoughts...

I don't think that trust is deeper or more complete in an M/s relationship vs.......... D/s vs Vanilla vs Top/bottom vs any other dynamic. I think trust is what you make it. If you go in wanting to trust and get to know the other person then I think the trust level will grow no matter if you are in an M/s or vanilla. I have heard we have to open ourselves up more in an M/s then other relationships - again I disagree. We open up if we are willing. I know M/s couples who don't trust each other and have very shallow interactions with each other. And I know vanilla couples who have inspired me. They have had a bond that was deeper then some M/s relationships I have witnessed.

So to me trust in a relationship is what the couple makes it. It can be deep and complete or shallow and fragmented no matter what the dynamic.

Next line of thinking...

I don't think you need trust to be enslaved.

My example is from my own life - when I started my relationship with Don, I did not trust him. And I thought it was just going to be a one night stand - nothing more to the relationship then that. But it ended up being more and ended with me being enslaved by him. I did not trust him through the whole relationship. I look back in fondness at the beginning of our relationship, but I still had did not trust him even though I was compelled to serve him.

Now that being said....I am glad that I have trust in my current relationship with Master. I think trust comes with time. If you are going to be build a long term relationship, it is a process and part of that process is seeing who the person is and getting to know them. That knowledge is better then trust.

I also feel until you are able to trust yourself you won't be able to trust another. And also....once you trust yourself...you allow yourself to open up and get to know the other person.

I can look back in past relationships and see that I wanted so much to trust that I did not even look to see what the person was like...I just jumped into trusting without ever knowing. I wanted to be owned and I kept hearing you need to trust your Master. So I trusted before I got to know the person. And did not even find out if we were compatible.

With Master I saw who he was - I saw all the little things that happen in the world - I saw how he treats others, I saw his views on the world and people around him, I saw his ethics, I got to know his dislikes and likes. I got to know how we would mesh in our beliefs. And those things are what showed me we were compatible it had nothing to do with trust.