A long while back Master wrote and entry titled Death or something like it. It was looking at that awful question of what-if something happened to him.
When I moved to be with him, all the money I had was handed over to Him. I did not have a bank account anymore. The debts I have are hardly anything. And my car was completely paid for. I had books, jewelry, art supplies, and some furniture but not a lot worth value except to me. All of that became Master’s. My car at the moment is in my name, but Master has been thinking of selling it - as it has sat in his driveway for a year. So there is real no need for it. Anyway, if Master decides to do that – the car will be signed over to him and the money coming from the car will be going into his bank account.
Right now my name is not on any bill, mortgage, bank account or anything else. I don’t own anything in my eyes – even though the car is in my name at this time.
I don’t handle money at all really here. If Master wants me to run in to get something, He give me money as close to it and then sends me in and as soon as I come out the change goes right to him. If I need anything –birthday gifts for family, person stuff like tampons, something for the household, absolutely anything, I have to ask for it and then he will either get it for me or not.
So that makes me completely dependent on my Master.
And I have come to the conclusion…so what.
I went into a consensual relationship. I knew it would be this way. Master is going to be doing some things to help with the what-ifs so that if something were to happen I will have something to get back on my feet.
The days of complete and total dependency went out a long time ago. But the difference I see between me and those women of the past that were dependent is choice. I had a choice. It was my choice to go into this relationship. I knew it would be this way and I more importantly I am glad it is this way. I want to be my Master’s property. And I am. It is not a relationship for everyone. But it is what I have yearned for and makes me the most at peace. And I am happy and feel finally like I am the person I have striven to be.
Just because I am dependent on Master does not mean I have lost my brain, that I can’t think, that I don’t have strength and courage.
And if something were to happen I could pick myself up and go on and probably because of the relationship I have had with Master… I am stronger. It is not an easy task at times to be enslaved and it in its own way has made me strong. Of course I would be devastated and hurt. But I would be able to survive just like anyone else losing someone. I worked before and even owned 2 business in the past. I have been very successful in the things I have done. I am not incapable of running my life just because I chose to hand my life over to my Master.
Also I have been meaning to post this link from kaylee. It is an essay on Autonomy and it is very good. If you want to read more of her essay's check out Sanctuary of Slave Musings
who cares that u have to ask for things..a master is like the fullfiiment..
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