Sunday, May 29, 2005

Topics: Migraines Again, Train of Thought, Random Odds-n-Ends

Migraine Follow Up....

Okay so I jinxed myself Tuesday by writing about my migraines. I woke up with a 9 on Wednesday and it was between would move from between a 6 and 9 all day. By the way that scale to me could use some more levels and such towards the end...such as I feel there is a level between 7 and 10 or maybe 2 or 3. Such to me as there is a level - that it hurts to see, touch, hear, and smell - but I am not breaking down crying and I am not needing to go the ER. And that is where a lot of my bad migraines hit. It is hard to function but I don't am not breaking down or needing to go the ER. The list is useful but it could be a lot better.

So anyway my jinxing myself led to a 3-day string of migraines. Thursday’s was less and Friday’s was horrible. Master MADE me stay inactive all day to keep it going down to nothing.

I feel guilty on days like Wednesday and Friday because it was a 9 when I woke up on Wednesday. And so my duties and serving Master suffers greatly...such as breakfast...He had to get because I can't cook when it is a 9. I am not able to focus or concentrate enough to make sense.

But the other days I have been able to function....doing housework and artwork. Sometimes I have to be careful what types of work I do though during migraines as smells can spike it up to a 9 quickly. Such as the night I colored I had a slight one and the crayon smell got to me....yes crayons. So I only could color that one picture even though I wanted to color a few more.

Questions I have been asked since the last migraine post:
How does your Master handle it?
He really does great at being understanding about it. I think though at times it confuses Him that I can be in such pain and have just washed the floors and done 3 loads of laundry. It is because I have taught myself that at times I just have to function -- no matter what -- otherwise I could be swallowed up in all there is to do if I put it off until I feel "better." There are some days though I can't function....that I can't push myself more then I have or do. But there are other days I can push myself a little to get more done.

Does He understand what you can and can’t do?
As I said above I think I confuse him at times because I will have just done several things but have a migraine and so at times He think He can’t understand when I request to put off something due to a migraine when I could do other things.

Do you get sick of people asking you if you are okay and you having to say it is just another headache?
When people ask me how I am, if I am having any allergy stuff going on or a migraine, I say I am okay. Because it is so a part of me that I don’t even answer the question accurately. But I think I did start doing that because I did get sick of saying I have a headache or I am having allergies. I know that there are some people who think I am always sick. So, I just get sick of having to explain this is normal for me and so even though I have a headache well…this is how it is all the time.

Thank you everyone for all the comments/emails about the migraines….I appreciate all the input, support and caring! You are so great!

Okay so I am was sitting here thinking about migraines and solutions….and I so this is how my strange mind works...I have a weird train of thought...

Thought 1 - Wishing I could control my migraines more through meditation or thought...which led me to think about....(by the way I have tried but the focus is so lost when in a migraine that I can't do it through meditation)

Thought 2 - I have stopped myself from being sick and throwing up. Or I have even stopped my period from coming when I was an escort because I had several dates set up.

Which led me to think about one of those times...

Thought 3 - I had a special client...one of my favorites coming in town. He came in town just to see me. And he was such a great client. He would always tip and bring gifts. And even more so he was just a lot of fun to be with and spend time with! We had a lot of hot, fun times together.

So, yes my train of thought is weird.

I do that a lot….Master will ask me what I am thinking about and it will start off on one thing and go to the next and they are related in my mind but He is sitting there with a blank stare like how did we just go from discussing history and move to laundry detergent but it has happened.

Okay…next…some random odds-n-ends….

Kitchen Aid is GREAT! I made muffins and sinful torte on Saturday morning.

Diet Coke with Splenda….I like it but it is different then diet coke. It kind of reminds me of Diet Rite or Tab.

Dark Chocolate M&M’s…..Oh My Gawd! They are so good! But so rich!

Challah bread in the oven right now...it smells so good.

Shopping today – Spent $66 at Michael’s. They had a 50% off one item coupon in the paper today so I used that but of course bought more….they had some good sales on some bigger ticket items I had been wanting. As I told Daddy when we got home, I am going to have a fun summer with all my art stuff!

We are going on a hike next weekend so I need some clothes that would work better then I have now. Master even had me try on pants for it but I couldn’t do it and He did not like them either. So I got a lightweight jean skirt that I think will work well. (I have hiked in skirts before so knew what I was looking for). Then I also got a couple shirts that will go with some the jean skirt but also a couple other summer skirts I have – so it all we need to make sure is that my timberlands hiking sandals are more broke in so I will be wearing them around the house this week while cleaning and such.

Some day I might have to tell about the Karma of shopping today. I made a statement and it came back to bit me in the ass. But not yet….too soon to repeat it…this is more just for a reminder to talk about it sometime – maybe.

It has been a nice weekend even though Master and I have spent some of it working! I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

ps: I will get to all the comments later tonight or tomorrow!

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