March Questions: SM

What is your favorite type of play? Whats the most extreme thing you've ever done in SM? Did you like it?

Favorite only one? Oh no that won't be possible!

Breath Play: Breath play has something that has stayed consistently my favorite for as long as I can remember. It is not something that I think many enjoy as there are risks. But with this lifestyle there are lots of things that have risks. There is something about my breath being taken away...that turns me on...that loss of control. That fear turns me on. Even just a hand wrapping around my throat can make my body react instantly.

Rope Bondage: Rope wrapping around my body...cutting into my flesh...knots at just he right place to cause a little more friction when I struggle and move against the bonds.

Hoods: It was something I NEVER thought I would like and it is a fetish of Master's so he got me used to them and eventually I was begging for them. And now they turn me on. They make me feel very safe and secure - going into myself and everything else melts away. The gas mask I always put in the hood category for some reason and that even sends me floating away even faster.

Punching: I like to be punched. This a pretty constant thing in our play. We don't have sex without there being punching involved. My tits are usually what Master punches but Master likes my arms and ass too. And even face at times. His fist hitting my flesh makes me feel used and sends pain through my body that just makes me feel primal and just raw.

Single Tail, dressage whip, viper flogger, rubber flogger..umm see a pattern here...stingy. They are all things that feed my masochism like nothing else. Yum!

Most extreme...cattle prod I think would be the most extreme for me. Hurt like hell. And something I have craved but would never have had the nerve to ask for it again because reality sets in and I say no way I don't want that again. It took my breath away. I had to beg for it again though - the person I was with was big on making me beg for things I didn't want but knew I couldn't say no to him. I didn't have the right to say no to him. But also it was also a word that was hard to get out...to him too even if I wanted to say it.

We had been playing hard...which is what we always did...we played hard...there was punching, kicking, head pushed in the toilet he pissed in, paddling, caning, breath play, slapping, spitting, hair pulling, drug around by hair...so at one point he has me on my hands and knees...ass in the air....legs spread wide. I was so wet that the the smell was intense in the room. I knew better then to look behind me to see what he was doing but I heard him go to the other room and come back. I knelt there waiting...feeling the fear and anticipation rise. I then felt...PAIN....PAIN sear through my body...electrical heat pain...like a shock but more then just a shock...bigger...hurt so much. He put the cattle prod to my dripping cunt. I remember screaming and curling into a ball. Tears lots of tears. Hysterical tears. He grabbed me up by the hair...to look at me and said get in position again. I couldn't get words out...I remember crying and shaking my head no....he slapped me. He said it again...to get in position and this time he told me "you are going to beg me to do it 2 more times." My mind started spinning further into the fear zone making me feel like I could go crazy. He used it on my arm then....I still hurt...A LOT but not as much as my "wet" cunt. Of course the wetness with the electrical zap brought that intensity up quite a lot. So he did it on my arm and then told me I would get on my knees and beg him to do it 2 more times now or I would be getting it 5 more times. I was still in that fear zone...backing away...wanting to crawl into the walls....he yanked me by the hair and stared into my eyes. He then slapped me. He said, "you are okay....get in position and beg now...for 3." I cried and shook my head no...scared...not sure I could utter the words. He said, "Now or get another added." Logical kicked in...logic in knowing him...and knowing he would add on and make it worse...that was his way...prove to me pain can be worse then my mind is imagining.

I got on my knees and my voice found its way up through my throat and I begged...I knew the words that would please and satisfy him...."Please hurt me, please stick that against my dripping stinking cunt and make this worthless whore feel your pain....please zap me again, please hurt me Sir." And it came..the PAIN...I curled into a ball...and wanted to again crawl into the walls and escape. But each time he slapped me and brought me back to the logical zone of what the reality was with him...and I got on my knees and begged. Each time making the words more degrading....degrading myself...putting more need in my voice...when all that inside my head I was screaming with pain and fear. After he did the final one he laid on the bed next to me and held his hand out. It was a weird thing between us...he got me to talk and open up...relax by massaging his hand. As strange as the sounds he kind of trained that into me....like no matter what was going on as soon as I started to massage his hand everything emptied out...to him....and I became calm. He wasn't an affectionate man...I can count on one hand how many time he gave me a hug. And he didn't give me one after this...he just brought me back to calm by holding out his hand for me to massage. So the tears started to dry up and words flooded out to him. And he answered questions I had of why. And of course with him it was because I can and because I needed to feel that kind of pain. Soon I was calm and felt floaty and happy...like I always did after playing with him.

We played of course again after that many times and I always was scared he would bring the cattle prod out again. But he didn't. But again that was his thing to push to this really extreme pain. And then after that every time we played and I said it hurt too much he would remind me there are other things that hurt more. So I would get back in place as he didn't do restraints or bondage I had to submit to suffering for him. And take it...suffer for him.

Wow okay that ended up a longer entry then I intended. But I know it is April now but please feel free to ask questions still as I said in another entry it has been nice to have these topics.