The Closet Q&A

A few weeks ago I posted that Master is going to lock me in the closet for 24 hours. He and I have talked about several times in the past. It is a fantasy we both have as it really drives home many aspects of our relationship of Owner/property. Plus we both enjoy isolation and sensory deprivation play (of course him from the doing and me from the having it done to me points of view *smile*). After last year I think we both are looking for a way to kind of bring that year to a place of closure. We have been slowly moving to where we want our M/s relationship again since the start of the New Year but I think that doing this as kind of a ritual will help close that door on last year and move us forward in a more solid way.

So we sat down and really discussed the realities of it. It is a GREAT masturbational fodder fantasies and believe me I know as it often where my mind goes when I masturbate...I mean almost always when I masturbate it is about long term isolation. But Master and I live this life within reality and so he really wanted to discuss the practicalities of it... I mean really think about if you were locked in a closet for 24 hours the issues that might occur? need to use the bathroom but locked in the closet so now what? eating? add in being a 39 old big girl body sitting/lying/kneeling on the floor for 24 hours...oh that is going to feel great! how about just boredom? how about panic? all those things are very real...they are just a few of the very concrete issues of being locked up for 24 hours.

So as I said Master wanted to discuss real solutions to the practicalities to this and as Tim Gunn would say - Make it work! Master does want my input. As with everything in the end it will be his final decisions of what actually happens. He does though want my feelings and thoughts so he can gauge how to get/pull what he wants from it. Master also doesn't think it is possible to be locked 24 hours without that door opening at least once if not more so it isn't technically complete isolation for 24 hours. He does have solutions for making me stay in my headspace when he opens the door.

The closet is not a huge walk in. It is 3 feet by 7 feet. It has shelves right in the middle that go floor to ceiling so really it divides the closet in 2 and each little side is about 3 feet by 3 feet. The clothes will be taken out and things that are on the floor at the moment (laundry basket and shoe rack).

Problems/Solutions

Bathroom: One side of the closet will have a bucket so that I can piss in it. I am now pissing in a bucket at least once a day so that I can get used to squatting over it. Master says soon I will be practicing with it in the closet. I close my eyes and think of a dark dank cell and chained to the wall. A bucket sitting there next to me that I piss in. So thinking of that...thinking I will smell it after going in it a few times I am sure it will smell...and it makes me feel very animal like. It turns me on. But the girly girl in me does go ewww! But in the end I know it will turn me on as it will hit many being nothing kind of of buttons, being property...humiliation and degradation buttons of course too.

Master is going to be giving me enemas working up to the 24 hour day so that my body knows this is when I have my bowel movement is during enema time. And that will be one of the first thing that happens before he locks me in for the 24 hours.

Eating: Bottled water for drinking. The thought of making me piss in that bucket more does of course turn Master on so I think if he thought I would be doing it a lot he would give me a case of bottled water. :) Part of my fantasies do include fasting and such as I feel this is spiritual thing for me also. Spiritual in the realm of M/s though....worshiping him and this journey we are on. So fasting not only for that but him not allowing me to eat hits buttons that turn me on also. But Master does like the thought of dragging me out pushing my head into a dog dish to eat or feeding me from his hand. He visions me wearing one of the hoods that covers my head but is open around my mouth/chin and so I could eat while being totally blocked out still, eating and then shoving me back in the closet. But he is still thinking on that too.

Sitting/kneeling/lying: We also will be working on getting me ready to be in there for longer periods. Being isolated like that will be different for me. We will be doing shorter terms such as one hour, and then maybe 3...and then up to maybe 6 or 9 hours. But Master and I both agreed longer then that we both feel might not be helping form final goals we have for this. Such as there are things he wants to get from the 24 hours one just endurance and surrender to it. I also am going to be losing furniture privileges more often.

Boredom: Well Master has discussed some hours will have tasks assigned. We have a little clock/timer and so I might have to kneel and just meditate for a length of time. He might give me the Hitachi to masturbate at times. I might be writing affirmations. I might be writing thoughts/feelings on just being in there or topics he choses. I might have to do blindfold time or clips or SM type things for set time periods. In the past when we discussed this there were talks of having recordings of his voice going hearing his voice telling me I am his plus humiliating or degrading things to remind me I am his property. In the past we had talked about him having music playing loudly - music to make me aware of my confines - loud industrial hard to concentrate type music. And then other times soft and serene. I have no idea if he will do those things but I just know we had discussed them a long time ago when discussing isolation. But again some of the reason for doing this is endurance and surrender that I am his property to just lock up...so I am needing to surrender to that. So it is kind of like so what you are bored...then that will be times I will really need to talk myself through that I am his property. One of my big things about my service at times is doing things to get through it without his help. Because I like the thought of doing it for him but without him having to watch over me second by second. I am not sure I am explaining it well.

Panic: Well Master wants to see how I do each time we up the time in the closet. And then we will gauge how to deal with panic. He does as I said anticipate opening that door. So he might open the door to gauge how I am by looking at me and then close/lock the door right back up. There might be other options but we are not sure we want to utilize them - we have intercom system in our cordless phones. So I could be in the closet with the phone and reach Master if absolutely necessary but the idea that it is even there is something that doesn't appeal to me. But he does also know I would never use it unless as said absolutely necessary. But if he is here and able to check on me for his own reassurances then is it necessary? Again all things that he is still thinking on and I think really again will gauge more as he watches what goes on as I am in there more then just an hour.

I am sure there other problems/solutions we haven't thought of yet. We are trying to be realistic without ruining the fantasy. Master asked me recently if writing about it and talking about it and such is making it less for me....and the answer is No! Still thinking about it and masturbating to it. And I am also aware that the thoughts that go through my head most likely will be totally different that the reality of it. It is really hot in my brain. But I am sure I will get bored. I am sure I will panic. I am sure I will wonder what the hell is going on...why am I locked in there...that I have the right to be out....all those thoughts might go through my head but doesn't change anything.

I think one of the hardest physical things will be just the time on the ground that long. Emotionally and mentally I do think there will be a point when I will think I am entitled to be out. That I don't deserve it I am sure I will twist around into Master being mean and not fair. Yes can we all roll our eyes....but I can see after a long time my mind doing that because I don't want to take responsibility that it was my fantasy and know I need to endure/surrender. By the end I am hoping I come out at peace and feeling grateful to be Master's property. Master thinks he will feel primal that I was his thing in the closet. And suspects I will be used thoroughly.

I think I have covered most of the questions I got about the closet time...if not please feel free to ask!