Well, I have a long blog entry in the works but I have felt like crap today - putting it mildly so I have not had time to finish it.
I feel lately my blog entries have not had a lot of substance and really my private journal offline is the same. I am just not writing much of anything...
Part of the reason there is just not much new in my life going on externally. Internally I always have things going on and those things I am not sure why I have not written about more. And I guess I feel I need to start writing more. There are things there to be addressed...things floating around in this head and they should come out.
I feel balanced in my life even though things are not always jumping up and down happy I am very happy to be with Master. And I am very happy to have a life with Him as His property.
Horoscope for tomorrow...LIBRA (Sep 23–Oct 22): Even if you are a bit more excitable than you usually are, you also have a good sense of balance now. Sure, you Librans are always seeking balance, but you don’t always find it. Now, however, you are able to realize your goals. You may even feel lucky, but this is just because you believe that anything is possible. And it is.
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Monday, November 03, 2003
Congratulations! Your ideal Alpha Male is...
Two words normally come to mind when dealing with the Wild Card Alpha Male--good luck. Generally seen as the 'self absorbed', 'eccentric', and 'highly sexual', this Alpha Male usually isn't associated with monogamy. However, once he does settle on someone they should consider themselves either blessed or cursed. His behavior can often be unpredictable, irrational, and quite bizarre in nature, and as the object of his affection, you will soon find it impossible to escape. And yet, underneath the egoism and the absentmindedness, it is very apparent that it won't do to have you taken away from him, or leave for that matter. Provided you have the patience and endurance to put up with his attitude and appetite, you'll eventually come to find you wouldn't want to anyways.
Which Alpha Male is right for you?
Brought to you by Alexandra and Matrim
Sunday, November 02, 2003
Horoscopes....
His....SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): Venus enters your sign today--and she will remain here in Sagittarius until November 26th. Use this time to recharge your batteries. Give yourself time to enjoy life. Get outside where you can directly experience nature as part of your rejuvenation process. And, more important than anything else, be ready to receive love when it is given. But remember that freely expressing your love to others is the best insurance for receiving it.
mine....LIBRA (Sep 23–Oct 22): Your spirits are being lifted now, if you let them. Try to avoid the temptation to sink into depression, not that you are often tempted to go here. But now, your imagination can rule your reality. Reach for the stars. Inspire yourself with positive imagery. You can be anything that you conjure up within your own mind.
His....SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): Venus enters your sign today--and she will remain here in Sagittarius until November 26th. Use this time to recharge your batteries. Give yourself time to enjoy life. Get outside where you can directly experience nature as part of your rejuvenation process. And, more important than anything else, be ready to receive love when it is given. But remember that freely expressing your love to others is the best insurance for receiving it.
mine....LIBRA (Sep 23–Oct 22): Your spirits are being lifted now, if you let them. Try to avoid the temptation to sink into depression, not that you are often tempted to go here. But now, your imagination can rule your reality. Reach for the stars. Inspire yourself with positive imagery. You can be anything that you conjure up within your own mind.
Sick...:(
Well, I am sick. On Thursday evening when we got back from Denver, I had a severe asthma attack and I think what it did was made my lungs vulnerable to a virus or something, because I have been coughing and wheezing pretty much ever since. It is really odd because I have bronchitis feelings in my lungs but not all the symptoms for that or really anything. I am having my usual allergy symptoms. But I have heavy chest with labored breathing. Even though I have to say today's breathing is much easier. But during the day is always like that for me when I have had bronchitis in the past. I can breath and feel okay (not great but okay) during the day and then at night it hits me hard where I can't breath and I cough and ache more. That is what has happened the last 2 nights.
Anyway since I have been feeling blah and icky I haven't really been in the mode to think or write or do much of anything. I am just trying to rest and take it easy.
I have a ton of favorites and so for the past 2 days basicallly I have been going through them and organizing them.
It is hard when I am sick, because I don't feel like a "good" slave. I try to do as much as I can. I just am not able to do as much. My lungs just can't take it right now…simple tasks are wearing me out. Ugggh I hate that!
But of course I know that Master wants me to do what I need to get better. He really doesn't like it when I am sick. He worries about me…especially with the asthma. But I keep trying to assure Him I will be okay. It will just take time to get better.
Other then being sick, things here are pretty good. We are just kind of waiting things out to get back into our rituals and time for more play and sex. Even though that is a ways off yet….I always am Master's slave even in these times where I am pleasing and serving in very quiet servant ways.
Well, I am sick. On Thursday evening when we got back from Denver, I had a severe asthma attack and I think what it did was made my lungs vulnerable to a virus or something, because I have been coughing and wheezing pretty much ever since. It is really odd because I have bronchitis feelings in my lungs but not all the symptoms for that or really anything. I am having my usual allergy symptoms. But I have heavy chest with labored breathing. Even though I have to say today's breathing is much easier. But during the day is always like that for me when I have had bronchitis in the past. I can breath and feel okay (not great but okay) during the day and then at night it hits me hard where I can't breath and I cough and ache more. That is what has happened the last 2 nights.
Anyway since I have been feeling blah and icky I haven't really been in the mode to think or write or do much of anything. I am just trying to rest and take it easy.
I have a ton of favorites and so for the past 2 days basicallly I have been going through them and organizing them.
It is hard when I am sick, because I don't feel like a "good" slave. I try to do as much as I can. I just am not able to do as much. My lungs just can't take it right now…simple tasks are wearing me out. Ugggh I hate that!
But of course I know that Master wants me to do what I need to get better. He really doesn't like it when I am sick. He worries about me…especially with the asthma. But I keep trying to assure Him I will be okay. It will just take time to get better.
Other then being sick, things here are pretty good. We are just kind of waiting things out to get back into our rituals and time for more play and sex. Even though that is a ways off yet….I always am Master's slave even in these times where I am pleasing and serving in very quiet servant ways.
Thursday, October 30, 2003
Long week that went fast....
It has been a long week but it feels like it has went by very fast. Monday Master started back to work and I was really impressed how well He did as He worked late on Monday and Tuesday and also went in early on Tuesday. I worried that He was pushing to fast, but He has assured me when it feels to much He will slow down. Then Wednesday we left for Denver for a funeral. :( We spent the night in Denver and then came back home today.
I was reading on Jade's Journal about something President Bush said and I was so shocked. I got the chills....when I read it.
Here is the quote...."The world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership, and America is more secure," - George W. Bush, 2003-10-28
Uggghh I can't think he would think that let alone say it. Peaceful? Where is the world more peaceful because of -him-? More free? America Secure....ugggh!
It upsets and angers me all at once.
On to other things so that I don't get so worked up I can't sleep because of it....
Master and I did brainstorming in the car for our website. We came up with our domain and some elements of the site. So that was good. :)
I am sure I will write more tomorrow....
It has been a long week but it feels like it has went by very fast. Monday Master started back to work and I was really impressed how well He did as He worked late on Monday and Tuesday and also went in early on Tuesday. I worried that He was pushing to fast, but He has assured me when it feels to much He will slow down. Then Wednesday we left for Denver for a funeral. :( We spent the night in Denver and then came back home today.
I was reading on Jade's Journal about something President Bush said and I was so shocked. I got the chills....when I read it.
Here is the quote...."The world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership, and America is more secure," - George W. Bush, 2003-10-28
Uggghh I can't think he would think that let alone say it. Peaceful? Where is the world more peaceful because of -him-? More free? America Secure....ugggh!
It upsets and angers me all at once.
On to other things so that I don't get so worked up I can't sleep because of it....
Master and I did brainstorming in the car for our website. We came up with our domain and some elements of the site. So that was good. :)
I am sure I will write more tomorrow....
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
Resistance does not mean walls and fences, nonresistance does not mean open space. If you can understand in this way, mind and matter are fundamentally the same. -Tsu-hsin
The you that goes in one side of the meditation experience is not the same you that comes out the other side. -Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, "Mindfulness in Plain English"
Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. - Auguste Rodin
The you that goes in one side of the meditation experience is not the same you that comes out the other side. -Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, "Mindfulness in Plain English"
Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. - Auguste Rodin
Monday, October 27, 2003
3 Years of Blogging!
Today is my 3-year anniversary of starting my blog. I can't believe it...at times it seems just like yesterday. And then other times it seems like I have doing this for more then 3 years.
There has been so much that has happened in the 3 years. And I think that is why at times it seems like more then 3 years. There were struggles, searching, failing, growing, learning, moving, standing still, depression, meaningful friendships built, friendships lost, excitement, times of being lost, being happy, being sad and so much more.
At times it surprises me that I stuck to it. At times I am surprised by the things I am writing - will be read by 100's of people a month. I guess I try not to think about it. I have grown to desire to write. When I go a few days without writing, something inside me starts to feel a little off balanced. It helps me stay sane I guess LOL
I have been reading my archives this last month and they scare me at times, they make me laugh, they make me see how far I have come, they have pissed me off, and made me smile with happy memories.
Through the 3 years there was a constant - my search for a relationship of meaning - a relationship to someone I could submit to….serve…and be enslaved by...
It was scary. I searched for the person to let go...and just let it "be" there....it was hard. There were struggles & fears. But being in a Master/slave relationship is what I kept searching for....
Well what happened is I let go and found a wonderful man there to catch me...guide me, lead me, control me, and love me....
Years of searching - falling - getting back up - going forward - learning - growing....
Finally letting go....
To serve, please and surrender to Him.
Today is my 3-year anniversary of starting my blog. I can't believe it...at times it seems just like yesterday. And then other times it seems like I have doing this for more then 3 years.
There has been so much that has happened in the 3 years. And I think that is why at times it seems like more then 3 years. There were struggles, searching, failing, growing, learning, moving, standing still, depression, meaningful friendships built, friendships lost, excitement, times of being lost, being happy, being sad and so much more.
At times it surprises me that I stuck to it. At times I am surprised by the things I am writing - will be read by 100's of people a month. I guess I try not to think about it. I have grown to desire to write. When I go a few days without writing, something inside me starts to feel a little off balanced. It helps me stay sane I guess LOL
I have been reading my archives this last month and they scare me at times, they make me laugh, they make me see how far I have come, they have pissed me off, and made me smile with happy memories.
Through the 3 years there was a constant - my search for a relationship of meaning - a relationship to someone I could submit to….serve…and be enslaved by...
It was scary. I searched for the person to let go...and just let it "be" there....it was hard. There were struggles & fears. But being in a Master/slave relationship is what I kept searching for....
Well what happened is I let go and found a wonderful man there to catch me...guide me, lead me, control me, and love me....
Years of searching - falling - getting back up - going forward - learning - growing....
Finally letting go....
To serve, please and surrender to Him.
Sunday, October 26, 2003
 | WATER OF WATER. Pretty lady! Fair and gentle, your empathy attracts others to you. Possibly psychic, you are pure emotion and are more likely to act on feeling rather than practical thought or logic. You think that's just fine because imagination is important. You are the Whore of Babylon with her cup of abominable things, the Medium of Endor and in the mundane world you usually make a good wife and mother. You shine when you are able to give emotional support to others. |
Saturday, October 25, 2003
Music: Going between Evanescence's Fallen and Coldplay's A Rush of Blood to the Head
Mood: tired - insomnia really kicking my butt right now
Topics: lots of things
Buffy the Vampire Slayer....
You know with fall here and such I guess I am having the itch to watch a new Buffy and of course that is not happening. But FX is started the 7th season on Friday afternoon, which means I will have the PVR catching those on Monday morning. They play 4 episodes a day of Buffy on FX. The 2 in the afternoon they end up playing the next morning. And Master has the PVR set to record them in the morning. :) It will be interesting to see the 7th season again, as it was the last. I only missed one episode that season…I think.
On Halloween they are doing a Buffy Marathon. It looked like they are going to play Hush. I hope they do, as Master has wanted to see that one. There is no talking in that one. It is kind of creepy that one I think is one of those that gave me nightmares after I saw it the first time. Now after seeing it several times I just think it is a f*cking great episode. They just had such a great writing team on Buffy.
I am PMSing. I am going through most of the normal things for me - wanting to eat everything in sight, insomnia, overly emotional, and also my body is also reacting. Right before my period my body gets very turned on and excited. My clit gets really sensitive. My cunt hot. Everything throbs. But yet mentally I am not that turned on right now and I wonder why it works that way...Why does the body act like it is turned on but mentally I am not really there?
It is something I struggle with because it seems the older I get the more I need my mind to be there as well as my body for me to get pleasure out of it. I can certainly give pleasure without my mind being there, but when my mind is there then a person can tell because I am more umm enthusiastic lol It is hard for me to "turn it on" these days. It has to be coaxed and worked on. And it does not make me very happy.
Sex has always been important to me. It is one of those things that release endorphins that my body needs to be more well balanced emotionally and even mentally. I am much more relaxed when I am having sex often. Same goes with S&M.
I guess I hate that I think sex or S&M could be a need but I think they are because they do release endorphins that are positive for my well being. I guess I compare it to the way people need sun. Could they survive without sun? Yes they probably could adapt. Just like I could adapt to not having sex or S&M. But if does having the sun affect them in a positive way…yes. And the same goes with sex and S&M for me.
Okay that was a ramble LOL
I am doing an article on Submission not being a gift. I really think it is like SSC. It is a BDSM slogan to make people looking in from the outside feel "better" about "us." And it makes newbie submissives to feel "valuable" and safe. It is a way to romanticize BDSM.
I also have been wondering if the gift of submission is for those that want to be submissive. And that those being a slave don't see it as a gift because slavery really is not a choice? Still kind of throwing that one around in my brain.
I just posted these questions to a few lists…feel free to answer them in the comment section or email me if you have not seen them on a list…I am really interested in hearing what people think.
Do you believe submission is a gift? Do you feel you are a Dominant, Master, Top, submissive, bottom, slave or striving to be one of those choices? Something else? Do you think slavery is a choice?
It is kind of interesting that while researching this topic there were articles that I found to be very logical in their points and ever agreed, but it still did not sit well with me. Definition of a word used in different contexts to me.
Well of course I have more thoughts on this but....I will save it for the article.
Just a little life update…
I have been having many nights of insomnia. It could be the time of the year, PMS, just stresses going on…or a combination of them. I hate it though. I had been doing much better (for me) with my sleeping patterns. But they are kind of out of whack right now.
Master is doing REALLY well. I am really still amazed how much He has been able to do. He is still sore and I know He is frustrated thinking it is taking longer then He wants it too. But really to me He is healing very fast. He goes back to work on Monday. It will be strange not have Him here during the day - when I have had Him here for 2 weeks.
Because of my insomnia and also our normal routine not in place since Master's surgery…the house has gotten away from me. So my big tasks this week will be getting down and dirty with the housecleaning! LOL
I am having some struggles with acceptance and letting go of expectations. That is all I am going to say on it now because I have not even really dealt with it yet. But I have had it coming up in my face in other areas….like a mirror trying to show me what I am doing. I just have been in denial…I do that so well though :)
Okay I better sign off and go check on Master.
Mood: tired - insomnia really kicking my butt right now
Topics: lots of things
Buffy the Vampire Slayer....
You know with fall here and such I guess I am having the itch to watch a new Buffy and of course that is not happening. But FX is started the 7th season on Friday afternoon, which means I will have the PVR catching those on Monday morning. They play 4 episodes a day of Buffy on FX. The 2 in the afternoon they end up playing the next morning. And Master has the PVR set to record them in the morning. :) It will be interesting to see the 7th season again, as it was the last. I only missed one episode that season…I think.
On Halloween they are doing a Buffy Marathon. It looked like they are going to play Hush. I hope they do, as Master has wanted to see that one. There is no talking in that one. It is kind of creepy that one I think is one of those that gave me nightmares after I saw it the first time. Now after seeing it several times I just think it is a f*cking great episode. They just had such a great writing team on Buffy.
++++++++++
I am PMSing. I am going through most of the normal things for me - wanting to eat everything in sight, insomnia, overly emotional, and also my body is also reacting. Right before my period my body gets very turned on and excited. My clit gets really sensitive. My cunt hot. Everything throbs. But yet mentally I am not that turned on right now and I wonder why it works that way...Why does the body act like it is turned on but mentally I am not really there?
It is something I struggle with because it seems the older I get the more I need my mind to be there as well as my body for me to get pleasure out of it. I can certainly give pleasure without my mind being there, but when my mind is there then a person can tell because I am more umm enthusiastic lol It is hard for me to "turn it on" these days. It has to be coaxed and worked on. And it does not make me very happy.
Sex has always been important to me. It is one of those things that release endorphins that my body needs to be more well balanced emotionally and even mentally. I am much more relaxed when I am having sex often. Same goes with S&M.
I guess I hate that I think sex or S&M could be a need but I think they are because they do release endorphins that are positive for my well being. I guess I compare it to the way people need sun. Could they survive without sun? Yes they probably could adapt. Just like I could adapt to not having sex or S&M. But if does having the sun affect them in a positive way…yes. And the same goes with sex and S&M for me.
Okay that was a ramble LOL
++++++++++
I am doing an article on Submission not being a gift. I really think it is like SSC. It is a BDSM slogan to make people looking in from the outside feel "better" about "us." And it makes newbie submissives to feel "valuable" and safe. It is a way to romanticize BDSM.
I also have been wondering if the gift of submission is for those that want to be submissive. And that those being a slave don't see it as a gift because slavery really is not a choice? Still kind of throwing that one around in my brain.
I just posted these questions to a few lists…feel free to answer them in the comment section or email me if you have not seen them on a list…I am really interested in hearing what people think.
Do you believe submission is a gift? Do you feel you are a Dominant, Master, Top, submissive, bottom, slave or striving to be one of those choices? Something else? Do you think slavery is a choice?
It is kind of interesting that while researching this topic there were articles that I found to be very logical in their points and ever agreed, but it still did not sit well with me. Definition of a word used in different contexts to me.
Well of course I have more thoughts on this but....I will save it for the article.
++++++++++
Just a little life update…
I have been having many nights of insomnia. It could be the time of the year, PMS, just stresses going on…or a combination of them. I hate it though. I had been doing much better (for me) with my sleeping patterns. But they are kind of out of whack right now.
Master is doing REALLY well. I am really still amazed how much He has been able to do. He is still sore and I know He is frustrated thinking it is taking longer then He wants it too. But really to me He is healing very fast. He goes back to work on Monday. It will be strange not have Him here during the day - when I have had Him here for 2 weeks.
Because of my insomnia and also our normal routine not in place since Master's surgery…the house has gotten away from me. So my big tasks this week will be getting down and dirty with the housecleaning! LOL
I am having some struggles with acceptance and letting go of expectations. That is all I am going to say on it now because I have not even really dealt with it yet. But I have had it coming up in my face in other areas….like a mirror trying to show me what I am doing. I just have been in denial…I do that so well though :)
Okay I better sign off and go check on Master.
Friday, October 24, 2003
My website has been taken down - not by me - but by Tripod. So if you find some links aren't working on my blog - that is probably the reason. I guess I will finally have to go to getting hosting. (www.warped.com).
Master has mentioned us getting a domain a few times, but we just have not decided on a name yet. So I guess that will get us kicked into gear to come up with one. Any suggestions?
Master has mentioned us getting a domain a few times, but we just have not decided on a name yet. So I guess that will get us kicked into gear to come up with one. Any suggestions?
Thursday, October 23, 2003
You are a geisha
When you were a child you began your training, and
even though you bewitch men, you are very innocent.
Learn more about Geisha by looking at the following links:
Geisha
The art of a geisha
What type of women in history are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Music: Coldplay ~ A Rush of Blood to the Head (just got today with some birthday money :)
Mood: pretty good
Topic: Movie Review of Killing Me Softly
"We spend our lives searching for our other half, you're it." ~Adam
Last night Master and I watched a movie that....well was not great but really had good potential lol
I would watch it again and actually want to see the unrated version *smiles*
It was Killing Me Softly...
BEWARE SPOILERS AHEAD
It had Heather Graham as Alice and Joseph Fiennes as Adam
It is labeled as an erotic thriller. But to me it is more then that....it is a tale of passionate love. It is tale of an obsessive power exchange. It is a tale of living on the edge and not being afraid of falling off that cliff...falling so much you lose yourself in the desire. It is about allowing yourself to need someone and allowing yourself to trust someone. I will get into those more....a little ways down....
Adam is a "famous" mountain climber. Alice is a girl who has everything a girl should want a good job, friends, a nice apartment living with her nice boyfriend. Adam and Alice meet accidentally at a corner but don't talk she seems him go into a bookstore across from her work and can't stop thinking of him so goes over and he comes out just as she was about to go in. Not speaking yet - they get in a car and he takes her to an apartment and they have sex.
How appropriate that her name is Alice because it is almost like she is in wonderland....having an adventure.
So that is how it starts.
Then the move establishes that Adam definitely wants control. But part of me feels he wants it to show the other trusts him. Because if his partner trusts him that equals love for him.
I think this movie is about (besides the "whodunit" story line) Alice trying to do more with her life - more then the usual. She is a girl with things that every girl should want and desire - a good job, friends, a nice apartment living with her nice boyfriend. And for Alice is it about doing something more - maybe something that was even buried in her. Maybe she was scared to uncover it. But then Adam comes into her life and uncovers it. But in the end I guess to me she was not ready to accept it and that is how it turns into that erotic thriller.
Alice says in the end that she is just a flatlander and could not reach those heights.
But she is more self-aware and knows what she wants now.
MORE SPOILERS - Spoiler for the ending ahead too.....
So the bad points....
I am not a big fan of Heather Graham and at times felt the movie was just made to see her nude one more time *rolls eyes*
The acting by Heather was a bit shallow. And so was the script.
You knew"whodunit" at the beginning of the movie.
They did not show enough character development and depth.
Not nearly enough rough sex lol :)
Plot was poor...but that is probably due to the script...the book is suppose to be much better.
Good things....
S&M/Rough Sex was considered consenting to by the Police
The people engaging in the S&M/kinky rough sex were not the killers.
Breath Play scene! :)
Some of the scenes of London and English country side were really beautiful.
Drool time over Adam's sister Deborah played by Natascha McElhone (probably best known for The Truman Show)
Just how they grab and touch each other - I liked....it was erotic for me. But it just could be because I am horny LOL
Scenes that are standing out to me right now me I liked...
She leaves her boyfriend and goes to find Adam. She waits in the outside his apartment for him and it starts snowing. The scene is very pretty actually the street with the snow coming down. But the reason I like the scene is she is so....needing him that she waits and will wait for him. I guess I know those feelings and even though they are almost desperate they are exciting and raw.
They get married and then go hiking. He makes her hike telling her he is going to make her stronger. (she does come across weak to me and that bothers me) But what I liked is that he is helping her become stronger. I also liked that she wanted to do it. She wanted to do it to make him proud.
Then of course the breath play scene oh yummy not even going to talk about it just going to sit here for a moment in bask in remembering it. Oh how I love breath play! mmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm good!
I like that she starts dressing different for him *shakes head* boy do I know that one! LOL
I like the scene with his friends...he kind of leaves her and she goes to the bathroom I think she starts to feel self conscious dressed a little more revealing then anyone else there...bright lipstick and such all for him.
I liked the movie most until it started to get into the trying to put suspicion onto him and then I was like uggh lets just go back to the relationship between them develop that power exchange more please! Because then it ends up being more of a tale obsessive love instead of a "healthy" power exchange.
Anyway that is Killing Me Softly....which of course caught my eye because I love that song. I still remember someone I know singing that in September and Master and I dancing to it. :) Nice memory!
Mood: pretty good
Topic: Movie Review of Killing Me Softly
"We spend our lives searching for our other half, you're it." ~Adam
Last night Master and I watched a movie that....well was not great but really had good potential lol
I would watch it again and actually want to see the unrated version *smiles*
It was Killing Me Softly...
BEWARE SPOILERS AHEAD
It had Heather Graham as Alice and Joseph Fiennes as Adam
It is labeled as an erotic thriller. But to me it is more then that....it is a tale of passionate love. It is tale of an obsessive power exchange. It is a tale of living on the edge and not being afraid of falling off that cliff...falling so much you lose yourself in the desire. It is about allowing yourself to need someone and allowing yourself to trust someone. I will get into those more....a little ways down....
Adam is a "famous" mountain climber. Alice is a girl who has everything a girl should want a good job, friends, a nice apartment living with her nice boyfriend. Adam and Alice meet accidentally at a corner but don't talk she seems him go into a bookstore across from her work and can't stop thinking of him so goes over and he comes out just as she was about to go in. Not speaking yet - they get in a car and he takes her to an apartment and they have sex.
How appropriate that her name is Alice because it is almost like she is in wonderland....having an adventure.
So that is how it starts.
Then the move establishes that Adam definitely wants control. But part of me feels he wants it to show the other trusts him. Because if his partner trusts him that equals love for him.
I think this movie is about (besides the "whodunit" story line) Alice trying to do more with her life - more then the usual. She is a girl with things that every girl should want and desire - a good job, friends, a nice apartment living with her nice boyfriend. And for Alice is it about doing something more - maybe something that was even buried in her. Maybe she was scared to uncover it. But then Adam comes into her life and uncovers it. But in the end I guess to me she was not ready to accept it and that is how it turns into that erotic thriller.
Alice says in the end that she is just a flatlander and could not reach those heights.
But she is more self-aware and knows what she wants now.
MORE SPOILERS - Spoiler for the ending ahead too.....
So the bad points....
I am not a big fan of Heather Graham and at times felt the movie was just made to see her nude one more time *rolls eyes*
The acting by Heather was a bit shallow. And so was the script.
You knew"whodunit" at the beginning of the movie.
They did not show enough character development and depth.
Not nearly enough rough sex lol :)
Plot was poor...but that is probably due to the script...the book is suppose to be much better.
Good things....
S&M/Rough Sex was considered consenting to by the Police
The people engaging in the S&M/kinky rough sex were not the killers.
Breath Play scene! :)
Some of the scenes of London and English country side were really beautiful.
Drool time over Adam's sister Deborah played by Natascha McElhone (probably best known for The Truman Show)
Just how they grab and touch each other - I liked....it was erotic for me. But it just could be because I am horny LOL
Scenes that are standing out to me right now me I liked...
She leaves her boyfriend and goes to find Adam. She waits in the outside his apartment for him and it starts snowing. The scene is very pretty actually the street with the snow coming down. But the reason I like the scene is she is so....needing him that she waits and will wait for him. I guess I know those feelings and even though they are almost desperate they are exciting and raw.
They get married and then go hiking. He makes her hike telling her he is going to make her stronger. (she does come across weak to me and that bothers me) But what I liked is that he is helping her become stronger. I also liked that she wanted to do it. She wanted to do it to make him proud.
Then of course the breath play scene oh yummy not even going to talk about it just going to sit here for a moment in bask in remembering it. Oh how I love breath play! mmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm good!
I like that she starts dressing different for him *shakes head* boy do I know that one! LOL
I like the scene with his friends...he kind of leaves her and she goes to the bathroom I think she starts to feel self conscious dressed a little more revealing then anyone else there...bright lipstick and such all for him.
I liked the movie most until it started to get into the trying to put suspicion onto him and then I was like uggh lets just go back to the relationship between them develop that power exchange more please! Because then it ends up being more of a tale obsessive love instead of a "healthy" power exchange.
Anyway that is Killing Me Softly....which of course caught my eye because I love that song. I still remember someone I know singing that in September and Master and I dancing to it. :) Nice memory!
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Your Passion is Black!
Passionate? Sure. Twisted? Absolutely.
You're seriously into a rush of emotions...
But often times it's mixed with a rush of pain.
You're all about the dark side of love, life, and lust.
What Color Is Your Passion?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Monday, October 20, 2003
Music: Frida Soundtrack
Mood: can't sleep - 2:43am
Topic: Frida, insomnia, control
We watched Frida on Sunday evening....
mmmmm what a good movie.
I had seen her art work, but did not know much else about her.
I always felt her art was full of pain. Pain that people go through - but it was almost exaggerated on the canvas but yet real. Not sure that makes sense. It shows real pain that we go through but it shows it in surreal focused images that make sure you don't skip by the pain in them. But they are not surreal...because they are actual moments from her life...just shown in a surreal expressionistic way and I did not really understand fully that they were moments from her life until the movie.
Edward Norton did the rewrite on the screenplay and I would have liked to see what it was like before because how it came out was very good. So many good things...lets see the music is incredible. Master bought the soundtrack months and months ago at a friend's recommendation. The special effects in it are really good - blending the art into the film. The special effects for Diego and Frida's trip to NYC is very interesting. The relationship between Diego and Frida....compelling, passionate, open. The friends - a group coming together with passionate ideas and thoughts. Hearts wanting to have a better place in the world. Trotsky....wow she had an affair with him...interesting. The art of both Diego and Frida..the art and their relationship working side by side was a fascinating...connection.
Here is a website that I checked out tongiht....FridaKahlo.com
And one on Diego Rivera.
Oh interesting...thing also Edward Norton does not get acknowledgement in the credits for writing the screenplay. I am not quite sure why yet. But I have been looking into it while up at this hour.
I can't sleep tonight not anything new....for me not being able to sleep...
It gets very frustrating. It is almost 3am and tomorrow I will be a zombie most likely because I just am having one of those moments where it has been going on for so long that it is going to catch up to me.
I was thinking today about something I have written about...about coming full circle. I am doing much of what I did when I was married. I cook, clean, made sure my husband was happy BUT the difference now....is....control. Master is in control. Jim was in control also but it was not a conscious act - just like me giving Jim control was not a conscious act. With Master it is who He is and how He wants to live His life. He has chosen to seek out someone to control - and that lucky girl is me :) And I have happily given up control to Him.
Mood: can't sleep - 2:43am
Topic: Frida, insomnia, control
We watched Frida on Sunday evening....
mmmmm what a good movie.
I had seen her art work, but did not know much else about her.
I always felt her art was full of pain. Pain that people go through - but it was almost exaggerated on the canvas but yet real. Not sure that makes sense. It shows real pain that we go through but it shows it in surreal focused images that make sure you don't skip by the pain in them. But they are not surreal...because they are actual moments from her life...just shown in a surreal expressionistic way and I did not really understand fully that they were moments from her life until the movie.
Edward Norton did the rewrite on the screenplay and I would have liked to see what it was like before because how it came out was very good. So many good things...lets see the music is incredible. Master bought the soundtrack months and months ago at a friend's recommendation. The special effects in it are really good - blending the art into the film. The special effects for Diego and Frida's trip to NYC is very interesting. The relationship between Diego and Frida....compelling, passionate, open. The friends - a group coming together with passionate ideas and thoughts. Hearts wanting to have a better place in the world. Trotsky....wow she had an affair with him...interesting. The art of both Diego and Frida..the art and their relationship working side by side was a fascinating...connection.
Here is a website that I checked out tongiht....FridaKahlo.com
And one on Diego Rivera.
Oh interesting...thing also Edward Norton does not get acknowledgement in the credits for writing the screenplay. I am not quite sure why yet. But I have been looking into it while up at this hour.
I can't sleep tonight not anything new....for me not being able to sleep...
It gets very frustrating. It is almost 3am and tomorrow I will be a zombie most likely because I just am having one of those moments where it has been going on for so long that it is going to catch up to me.
I was thinking today about something I have written about...about coming full circle. I am doing much of what I did when I was married. I cook, clean, made sure my husband was happy BUT the difference now....is....control. Master is in control. Jim was in control also but it was not a conscious act - just like me giving Jim control was not a conscious act. With Master it is who He is and how He wants to live His life. He has chosen to seek out someone to control - and that lucky girl is me :) And I have happily given up control to Him.
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