Answering a Question.....

Jane had a question about 29 and 30 and it actually is probably one of the top 5 questions I get about my 100+ things about me...

She wondered what I meant by these 2 lines....

29. I used to be a masochist
30. I don't know if I am....anymore.

I don't feel I am a masochist anymore.

I used to be a huge masochist. I used to crave to feel the pain...I wanted to feel the feelings associated with the pain. I wanted to feel it rip through my flesh and open me up (sometimes literally and other times just metaphorically).

And well now I don't get those types of cravings. I like pain. I like to do SM play with Master. I enjoy the pain Master gives me, but I just don't crave it. I don't need to feel it rip though my flesh. I like taking the pain for Him. So again I used to crave pain for pains sake, but now it is just not the same. I don't have those deep cravings like I did...I do enjoy taking the pain Master gives me. So not exactly sure what the makes me...I guess it just makes me -- ME!

Does that make sense?