March Questions: 3 sets of quesitons

I felt all these questions kind of went together so putting them all in one post.

Do you find it hard to offer your view with your Master? Especially if it is something that you know you are right about?

I think some things are harder to talk about then others in general. Master does want me to open and transparent so sharing is not an option but basically an order. But just because it is an order doesn't mean it makes it easy. I do get distant. I do get very internal where I ponder things and work it inside instead of sharing. I wish it was just easy to open up but I am not good with words and speaking. At time I might be able to get them out through typing but Master would prefer me to verbally communicate with him.

Once I do open up it does become easier. I am very passionate about some things and although I am not a person to yell or carry on...my voice does carry that passion. I try to be respectful but I know because the passion for some subjects the tone changes and comes through in a way that is not pleasing to Master. Although that is not my intention it is something I work on because it doesn't matter my intention it is what he wants...how he wants me to be behave.

If I need to discuss with him a subject that I feel I am right and he is wrong well that depends on the situation if it will be hard or easy to bring up. But again Master wants me to be open and honest with him so above all else that is what I need to keep in mind. But over all Master wants to hear my views and why I think another choice/answer/idea might be better. He sometimes agrees with me and other times he doesn't. Either way I did what I was suppose to - told him - and then he made the final decision.

Do you fight with your Master?

Yes we do fight. We are human and well it happens. I do sometimes get snippy with him but usually I recognize that pretty quickly and apologize. We both at times snip at each other because well again it does happen. We try hard not to do that to each other though. We try to let the other know what is going on. Like if it has been a bad day - one thing after another and so we feel grouchy and tired we communicate to each other about it because that usually helps us not feel so grouchy and stop the snipping before it happen.


Are you never tempted to resist your Master's decisions? Do you sometimes doubt him? If so how do you cope?

I haven't really ever been tempted to resist Master's order. I have a rule where I can't have a diet coke unless I get permission. And there are some days I would love to go get that diet coke and not ask. But I haven't gotten near the point of pulling the diet coke out of the fridge. There was one day I knew I couldn't reach him and I just got a glass of water and waited.

I haven't ever doubted Master. I have always agreed with him. I haven't always liked things he wanted me to do. I haven't always understood them but he is really good about talking about things with me...if I don't understand. It is a very rare occasion when I get the - "because I said so" answer. And usually I just deal with that by either kind of a meditation practice of reminding me who I am with - why I am here. And letting go. I am a huge Joss Whedon fan and on the show Firefly there is this one line where a girl is giving birth and in pain...and Inara says to her, "This is just a moment in time step aside and let it happen." And when something is hard I try to do remember that -- know I am doing what he wants so just take a breath and know it is just a moment in time. And let go.

Also if there have been doubts they usually have nothing to do with Master even if they come across that way at first. Usually with further examination it is my own fears or insecurities putting up the doubt.


**Feel free to ask anything you might want to know and I will answer. I am screening the questions AND allowing anonymous comments.