Recently I talked about a podcast I listened to of Vi Johnson's. She said in that podcast that when she is asked the question how she can be a slave when she is so strong - she replies with "most slaves are dominant." I replied that I didn't think most slaves were dominant. Maybe most are....I just think of the people I know and most of the slaves I know don't seem to be more dominant then submissive. It doesn't mean that their aren't more dominant slaves out there - but in my experiences I haven't seen it. Although I admire and find inspiration in many who are dominant. But really I think it not that they are dominant as much as I see those that are called to serve...and that is what I admire...their service. For me slavery is a calling. It is who I am...I need to be owned. I need to serve. I am a slave. And I have to say I am submissive too. But that doesn't mean that I am not strong, capable, and able to take charge. I am all those words and many more. Because I don't associate strong, able to speak his/her mind, able to make good decisions, capable, self-aware, able to take charge in many different situations, organized, skillful as defining dominant. They are words to describe people...all sorts of people. And I think sometimes we add those to the word dominant but really when I look at the definition of dominant it means to command or control others. It doesn't say organized in the definition. It doesn't say strong. Does it imply it....I suppose it does but it doesn't mean that someone who is submissive can't be described by those words too. Those words could describe many different people - a secretary, a waitress, a doctor, a teacher, a janitor, a politician, a Master, a slave, a boy, a Top..and so on. And that is all they are...just words to describe people...just as dominant and submissive are words to describe people.
The more people I meet, and the more I read, listen and learn, the more I realise that words will never be able to accurately describe the infinite variety and complexity of people. That's why I don't like labels.
ReplyDeleteI think I agree that many (though not all)slaves are strong people. I've come to believe that strength, a sense of comfort and self acceptance, and a lot of self control helps when we turn that control over to someone else.
As a switch, I'm learning to see both sides of our wonderful community first hand. I will encourage my submissive to understand that she can depend on me, but I would not want her to become dependent on me... in my eyes two very different things. She has to be able to function in the world when I'm not around, just as I do with my Master.
Adding my usual bit when leaving my views....these are just my views, I don't mean them to sound like a 'rule book' for others to follow.
love and hugs xxx
Danae, I agree with M:e in not liking labels, it's a very lazy way of thinking about people.
ReplyDeleteNone of the slaves/subs that I know are weak people, they show their strength in different ways.
My Mel was a strong woman, one of the strongest I've known and yet she was happily my sub and very good girl.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
And maybe, just maybe, Vi got exactly what she wanted - for you to take a look at yourself and peel away some of the layers and think about yourself.
ReplyDeleteRegards,
EO
i think a lot of people associate being submissive with being weak willed and mindless. i know that i am a very strong willed, independant person, albeit that those things get me into trouble sometimes. being submissive doesnt mean you are some kind of mindless robot
ReplyDeleteThank you EVERYONE for your comments! :)
ReplyDeletem:e - I like labels for myself...I like to be able to say this is who I am and I do agree with you that we don't have words to get to do that accurately.
Paul - I agree that strength comes in many forms. Very nicely put! Thank you!
EO - Vi did but really it was your comment on a previous post that got me writing about it. Thank you!
wicked kitten - When answer the question how she could be slave when she was strong - in saying that most are dominant - to me almost implied that submissive means weak. And that really bothered me so one reason for the post.