danae

Okay this post is going to be a little neurotic. I will be okay….I just am overwhelmed with going to my parents. I feel kind of out of sorts tonight. I am sure it is just because of my visit.

I am very nervous about seeing my parents. Not my Mom really but my Dad. He just knows how to say the wrong thing to me. He seems to always. He has never approved of my life but really has NEVER understood my life. So, really how can he say he does not approve of it? Not that he would I am sure lol

I am not sure why this year seems to be more…nerve racking. Last year I was very calm when I visited them. I should be packing and finishing up things and I don’t want to. I don’t want to go my parents and I do. I want to see them but I should have made it a shorter visit….maybe.

Update on life to get my mind off…of my going to my parents.

I chatted with M for quite a bit online tonight instead of doing the things I needed tonight.

Now I am chatting with Nick. He is giving me a pep talk about going to my parents.

This week has been okay…I have been procrastinating though. I had lots to do and did not do most of it. I am still feeling lightness even…though I am overwhelmed right now.

Friday night I went to a play party. It was nice as usual. I did not play but at the end did ask someone if he would like to play sometime. He asked me about switching…*smiles* I just can’t. I am very sadistic but not with men. I would be worrying if I hit him to hard lol He is a masochist so for sure that would not be a good experience for him.

It is Moni’s birthday on Monday and since I am not going to be here I gave her - her birthday present early. I got her a signed copy of Hand in a Bush by Deborah Addington. It is a book on fisting *grins* I think Katrina was happy with my birthday present lol

I had not spent much time with Moni lately and so we needed some quality time. We did not have much time but I am very glad we were able to have some time together.

I can’t believe it is going to be 2003 soon.

I will be at my parents for 2 weeks and not sure how much…or even if I will be able to post at all to my journal while there. Just not sure. I am bringing my handwritten journal of course because I can’t live without writing.

Well I think I need to go have a good cry and finish packing….lol