danae

I am not sure what to write tonight….

I have starred at the blank page before me for 10 minutes.

I hate when it is like this…full of words that won’t come out and play. Full of unexpressed thoughts and feelings welling up inside…ready to burst out in a way that….does not seem to make sense or productive.

Today….I chatted with someone online that I have not talked to ages. We have had some emails every 4 to 5 months. But not chatted online for years actually. The talk…has had my mind reeling all day. I actually got to talk to her 2 times today. It was interesting both times. I have missed her very much.

Her service though does not really allow room for friends….it seems. And so we often go months and month without contact.

She has been one those people in my life who has seen me at my worst and still loves me.

New topic….

I feel disconnected tonight.

The lack of contact with Monseigneur E is starting to really wear on me. I know that the plans have changed. He thought I would have visited by now but it has not worked that way. But we went from talking several times a week to now…about once a week. And it is really hard to keep opening up when we don’t talk. Also, I have been having issues with that I have to ask permission to masturbate but yet I don’t have contact. I can call anytime…but that is really kind of hard in my situation right now. I am always very grateful when I get permission for that and also to play – BDSM play.

I have been thinking lots of Morgan and Todd.

This quote I am going to end this blog with….is by Richard Bach. Richard Bach is one of Todd’s favorite authors.

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." - Richard Bach