danae

Music: John Mayer, Norah Jones, David Usher
Rune: Ehwas ~ Movement/Progress - Reversed

Yes, another entry in one day! WOW feels like old times! *grin*

I feel more calm and relaxed about things here in Ohio then I have in months. I look back at the last month and am glad that roller coaster ride is over. I am glad I am on my way to quiet again.

I would say that Monseigneur E and Linda see the last month much differently then I do...and I look at it and then hear what those are saying who are right here in my life and even those that know me real life long distance and everyone seems to have the same opinion. So about a dozen people plus myself can't be wrong, right? I mean most of those see me and know me here in Ohio...so they know how I am reacting, dealing, what my life is really like...

I know I am right in my life. I have gone through the things I have had to for reasons. And I have reacted and done the things I have for reasons. And even if they are not always clear...I know that my life....is calming down right now because of me.

When I talked to Sir Laz last week one thing that kept coming back was that I don't get the impression Monseigneur E and Linda accept me. And as I said to him...I don't think they see the reality of my life and who I am actually...and so they are basing their judgments on a little bit of the complete picture. They see parts. I mean talking a couple hours online a week is not really a way for a person to get a clear picture of reality...of another’s life.

On to another topic....I talked to Jackie last week! :) It was a good conversation. I am glad we had a chance to talk. We have been exchanging emails for a while on and off. But it was really good to talk to her on the phone. And we view that time in our life....the same. It was messed up.

When she left, is when I took control back and started to do what was best for me. I look back at the last 2 years and know that it was not perfect but I see all I did with my life and am very proud and happy :)

It is weird...I have lived in Ohio and I think of all I have done in my life and it seems like that amount of stuff should have taken place in about 10 years time instead of 4 years.

Anyway, I am glad Jackie and I are talking again. I have always loved her and that never stopped or changed. And I hope we become close again and count on each other as family. As I think of her as part of my family still.

Friday night I got drunk. I had busy day. I had a doctors appointment that got changed by they could not get a hold of me because I had not told them my new number yet. So, I got there at 9:30am and it was changed to 2:30pm. Then went to the bank and things wrong there. And with no air in my car and driving around Cleveland for other errands besides those...I was just hot and sticky and wanting some fun! So, I went and got drunk! LOL

It was karaoke night - not that I sing but it is fun to watch and listen to others. I had lots of people buying me drinks as everyone was happy to see me enjoying myself LOL It had been a long time since I had been able to just completely relax and not worry about things.

I guess I am going to sign off now....Bill should be home from work soon. And my chair broke last week so I steal his and Lisa's lol

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. -Carl Bard