Happy Birthday j!
I love you very much and hope that your day is fantastic!
We are doing pretty good. I am starting to get depressed about my birthday tomorrow.
Master talked in His journal about how we were reminiscing. I do that every year this time....around my birthday. So I have recounted the last year...it was a year full of ups and downs. A year full of uncertainty. But it is also near the time Master contacted me...and I am very thankful for that.
I also have been recounting time with Master....we have been busy, but I love Master very much. I am very happy to be His slave and able to serve and please Him.
When I was first here there was more of the erotic/S&M slave elements involved in my daily life.....
I remember the days of getting wet cleaning the toilet and making His bed. I remember the days where service seemed easy and I felt like a slave. But then the daily grind sets in and this is my life. I am Master's slave but most of the time there is nothing erotic about it. There is nothing that makes me all gooey inside with erotic slave feelings....there is just serving. Day in and day out I serve Master. I make the bed, clean the toilet and do all the other things that Master wants and it service. This is my life as His slave.
There are journals out there that claim exciting S&M every moment.....first thing I usually think when I read those is that they are doing BDSM online and not real life....
Because yesterday my life consisted of helping Master get around after His surgery, cooking Master what He craved for dinner, cleaning Master's bathroom and doing other odd-n-ends housework.....
There was no erotic S&M elements in my day.....and the majority of my days are spent like this....
But it is okay....because I am serving Master to the best of my abilities. And that is what He wants. When I get the erotic/S&M elements...I am happy, but right now my life is just not about that....at all.
I do get sad about not having the erotic/S&M elements in my life, but I also know when Master feels it is time again for those things then we will have them.
Next subject...
I read a journal where the girl is having some problems with a poly situation and her post was full of anger and was written directed at the other girls (who read the journal). And while I read this I kept thinking why is she angry...I am not saying she does not have the right to her feelings, but I guess I feel she is misdirecting it. Something was not done right - and my thought was okay her Dominant is the one in control - she is not - so well it is not her problem it is his problem. So if she could see it is not her problem - maybe she could let go of the anger.
She can see it is not done right and redo it. Serving silently. She can know she did it right...without advertising it...knowing she served him in a way that is pleasing to him. Or another option is that she could go to the other girls and say, "Master really likes it when it is done this way." And showing the others how to do it. But blowing up in anger seems to be wasted to me. Either help the situation with just redoing it or helping the other person, but letting that anger well up, being hurtful and yelling does not seem a productive use of a slaves time.
I guess it comes down to the thought.....what would the Dominant want? I mean we all get frustrated. I get frustrated with the way Master does things at times, but that does make it okay for me to yell. We all need to vent at times, but there are still ways to vent that are a better reflection of the Dominant. And that are still being productive in getting feelings and issues out. I guess...what I am saying think before acting - think of what the Dominant would want and know that you are not in control and let it go.
Made me think of this Hindu Wisdom I got the other day.....Live in the world like a waterfowl. The water clings to the bird, but the bird shakes it off. Live in the world like a mudfish. The fish lives in the mud, but its skin is always bright and shiny. -Ramakrishna
It is hard to get to that point....to shake things off. I know I still struggle with it but it gets easier each time I do.
Here are a few links I wanted to share...
First I made some herb rolls that were really good not too long ago and here is the recipe. They are really yummy...I am going to make them a little bit bigger next time so we can make sandwiches with them. :)
And then this fantasy art site....has some really gorgeous pictures.
