Life Update:
Okay so the 14th or 15th I started feeling sick. Sore throat….bad sinus headache almost like I was getting a sinus infection. I downed Echinacea as much as I could and felt better by Monday (the 18th). But Master unfortunately started feeling bad on the 17th. And it just seemed to be getting worse (He is still not feeling great but much better then He was last week). So on Friday, I felt it creeping back…a sore throat again only worse then last time. Well now, I am sick. I am feeling like a slug.
I started catching up on some blogs this weekend. I changed some links on my blog. I changed the font size but I don’t like it being so big, so let me know if you like it this way and maybe then I will keep it instead of changing it back to 2 sizes smaller.
I have worked on several different blog topics that will be coming soon. Submissive fever - It can happen to vanilla people also. It is when you are caught up in the feelings of what you are doing that you don’t see that it goes against everything you ever felt was right. And it usually makes you fall harder…when you get hurt. Because those with the fever will get hurt it is not an if it is a when. So, it is just a matter of time of getting hurt, unfortunately. Poly – It is something I started this summer and never got back to….but started back with the other day. I used to be a poly posterchild (just kidding, but that is how it felt and people even told me I was) and I see lots of mistakes happening in poly relationships. Desired/Wanted - And then I have one started on desire and feeling wanted that I am not sure if I will post but will work on a little more before I make that decision. Bush/Kerry - And the last one is why I am not voting for Bush and I am for Kerry.
Purse Strings:
Cee brought up on her journal recently the topic of purse strings and I wanted to put my thoughts on it.
Master controls the money in the household. When I need something – personal, household, discretionary purchases, luxury items, or what not – I have to ask Master for it. And He either says yes or no. I have to tell him what I want and why. It is a rare occasion when I ask for something that is a discretionary purchase or luxury item. It is hard for me to do that. Master does buy luxury items at times but it is not because I ask for them. Such as Georgia O’Keefe, Laurell K. Hamilton books and a journal with a purple yinyang.
Money I earn is viewed as money I earn for Master. And so far most of the money that I have earned for Him, He has allowed me to spend, but I still have to tell Him what I am spending it on.
It is a hard thing at times. There have been times I wanted to get Master something totally on surprise, but I have to ask for money to get Him something so then He knows that I am buying Him something. Thus, it takes that element of surprise out. There are times I just crave to have some money just to spend on whatever…luxury items. I remember before being owned going into a store...like Target and just buying little odds and ends...a candle, chocolate, some stationary, a lipstick, a new shampoo or lotion, placemats, kitchen utensils or a purse (oh how I miss purses – don’t carry one now). Just buying something...a little something made me feel good. Now I don't get that luxury.
It was brought up that how would the Dominant know everything…know if something was actually needed when he maybe did not have first hand of it. In Master’s household, He does not know everything that goes on each minute of the day in this household so He would admit He would not know what is actually needed. But we talk about it.
When I moved in with Master, He had lots of kitchen items pots, pans, toaster, blender, cappuccino maker and much more, but He did not have a mixer. And so I asked for one. He asked me what I could use it on when cooking. I was able to list several things. So, He trusted that it was something that benefited me in cooking for Him. We talked about it. It might be a small thing that most would not talk about, but I am slave. And Master controls our lives…money and me included.
And that is how I like to live....under His thumb. It is very fulfilling even though I don't get to go out and buy whatever I want.
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