Saturday, November 20, 2004

Bisexual

You are 89% Bisexual


How bisexual are you?


To go with the Bisexual quiz...

There was a question on a group the other day about being bi or not...

Bisexuality means sexual or romantic attraction directed towards some members of more than one sex.

I think someone can be bisexual and never "act" on it. I also believe someone can be with both sexes and not be bisexual.

I am bisexual. I am odd at times because when I was little I did not get that it wasn't accepted to be with the opposite sex or attracted to the opposite sex. I just thought it was not talked about like sex wasn't talked about. So I remember clearly being attracted to both men and women. But I did not say anything. As I got older approaching my teens, I still don't think I knew it was not accepted, but I tended to go for males. It was at a slumber party that I first explored with another female and that was during truth or dare. I had not told anyone about my desires up to that point. By the time I entered high school I realized it was not accepted to be attracted to both males and females.

My attraction to men has always been one of a power dynamic mixed with SM. I just did not know there was a name for what I was seeking with a man. I would always want to be with men that took charge....didn't always find them but I can look back and see that is what I was seeking.

But with women most of the time when it is vanilla type of attraction but of course on the rare occasion I do like to be topped by a female (DM and Jackie coming to mind).

I have been with some incredible women. It just didn't work for various reasons...I was owned (this was before Master). And then when I wasn't she was owned. Another one well was not truly bisexual. A couple were rebounds. Then others were just sex (which is fun, but sometimes a girl wants more).

Morgan though is the only one I have been with who it has been ideal combination of everything. She was tender. She knew when to take control. She was completely open and honest with me. She gave me so much of herself. It was so good...Oh how I love her...still. Darn period...crying. I miss her.

Well that did not end up where I thought it was going....just thought I would write about being bi. But I guess....it is appropriate that it ended up with her...

Have you ever read lyrics and thought that the music must sound one way...and then you hear it and it is totally different but works...works perfectly? That is how it was with us...I think people probably did not understand how it worked. But then saw us together and went wow.

The only problem was that by that time I grew up and the views of society were influencing me. And so I pushed because I could not accept that I was in a relationship with a woman.

Hindsight...I wish of course...now I could do it differently. I sometimes fantasies about where life might have taken us. I wonder if that lyrics and music would have been made into a symphony. Because when I think about it...without those fears of the past it feels like it would have been incredible.

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