This is not the same old questions of if a submissive should or shouldn't use an honorific...But I do have some questions about them...
For submissives...
(by the way - I know it really doesn't matter to some of you because whatever your Sir/Ma`am wants you to do you will but really I am just asking for your feelings and opinions not necessarily the rule you use)
Do you mind when someone other then yourself uses a title such as Sir, Master, Mistress or Ma`am with the one that collared to/owned by/submitted to? Are some of those honorifics okay and others bother? If so which ones and why?
For dominants....
Do you mind when someone uses a title who is not owned by/submitted to/collared to you? Would you prefer to be asked before having someone using a title with you?
And this one also...I have not really seen it for males being called female specific titles but I have seen it lots for females using/being called by male specific titles...Such as a woman being called Master, Sir, Daddy.
So...wondering for the female dominants do you mind being called male specific titles? I have someone that I always call Ma`am but Sir I think has come out a few times with her and if I haven't actually said it...it felt natural to call her Sir in those instances. And so I wondered if she would mind or if others would mind being called by gender specific title that isn't their biological gender. (By the way it just never dawned me to ask her until I was thinking about these questions today.)
Thus far it's really been my choice - how to address others within the lifestyle - but I'm hardwired for politeness from childhood. I tend to use Sir and Ma'am anyway, and it fits well at the few public munches we attend. (We don't have much of a public presence.)
ReplyDeleteMaster did remind me to use "Master" in front of our munch's facilator's name in a recent email to the group list, but He was just making certain that I didn't forget.
I think it's like any other form of polite discourse - what feels natural works.
jocelyn
My personal opinion or policy (since what I call other Dominants isn't regulated by my Dom) is that I refer to Dominant males as "Sir" and Dominant females as "Ma'am." Calling someone I'm not collared to "Master" or "Mistress" rubs me the wrong way. It seems intimate, and like I am trying to refer to an Owner/ownee relationship that just isn't there. In addition to which, if that Dominant male or female did have a submissive, I would feel as if I were encroaching on the submissive's role.
ReplyDeleteI would be most comfortable with other submissives referring to my Dominant as "Sir," which I consider to just be generally good manners, as opposed to a more personal title such as "Master" or "Daddy." I feel that using the more personal, and more specific title to address my own Dom is something I should do because of the bond we have, and others shouldn't do because of the bond they lack.
-Meg
Hmm, I still have a hard time using honorifics from time to time and yet, at other times they flow from my lips as if it's the most natural thing to say. When I'm having a hard time it's due to my being self-conscious and thinking *way* too much.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind when others use honorifics toward my Master or m'Lady, the people that do are people who respect them and it is obvious that the titles are used as a means of showing that respect.
I think it might bother me if it were a person who wasn't doing it as a form of respect. I just see them as a show of respect.
i use Sir or a persons specific name when i am speaking with them. i prefer to use the Sir, but some have a hard time with even that. i have no problem when anyone uses any form of address for my Master however, i just don't see any of them as a problem. His nametag says MasterRobert, so if someone were to call Him Master, it would not make me feel awkward at all.
ReplyDeleteThe situation seems to impact my response. When the honorific is used in a "context" where it feels appropriate, and where the person using it seems to understand the rationale for it, I don't feel any sense of reaction to it one way or another. However, when it comes from someone who is using it out of context, or inappropriately, I sometimes react negatively. In that case, the usage can seem rude and presumptuous...
ReplyDeleteIt feels like a matter of manners -
learn what is acceptable in the situation, just as you would if you were a guest in someone's home, or visiting in an unfamiliar religious observance, or participating in an important political or diplomatic event... To not gather some information and understanding of the norms and expectations that apply, results (more often than not) in social faux pas that come off as clumsy and rude.
swan