Early I posted an emotional filled entry about going 24/7 literally. And although I stated some very valid fears in it - I did make them bigger then they needed to be. This morning while cleaning I would burst into tears and so I thought if I just got it out it would stop banging around in my head so loud. (and it did by the way.) And then later I could look at without the tears and after I accomplished some of the things I needed to and examine it more rationally. I just wrote it without thinking logically. I did post in the moment of the feelings the fears so much that they came out much bigger then they are in reality.
Master doesn't expect me to be "super slave" - and he actually tells me I usually do above and beyond what he expects or desires. So obviously I am much harder on myself then he. I got an email from a very dear friend that reminded me Master is not an unreasonable man and I know that but of course all I could see this morning was the fear. I know Master doesn't expect me to be ON all the time. And he is very giving of the time he allows me for down time and just "me stuff" already and I am sure that won't change.
Master and I haven't had time to talk about it yet. But he does know what I posted. So I am sure we will discuss that soon.
You're human as well as a slave - these doubts and fears are natural (so Dave tells this girl, anyway, although we're not together 24/7...)
ReplyDeleteAnd "So obviously I am much harder on myself then he." rings so true this side of the pond, too.