acknowledge I exist

Music: Diana Krall

I sitting here - with my diet coke and Sex and the City on. It is talking about father figures......it says that a little girls relationship with her father is a model for her future relationships. That is a scary thought.

Today I had a few interesting conversations. One that shocked me. And I am still trying to recover from and not sure I will lol Then my conversations with Kevin are always interesting. Then Ray signed on too and he and I had a pretty good convo also. And last but not least....I talked with Nick for almost 2 hours on the phone. He messaged me today and said call me at 6:30pm my time. First time he has EVER told me when to call him. So of course it panicked me lol

Of course I was panicked for no reason! He reminded me during our conversation tonight that I worry to much. We talked about a lot of different things. He vented about work for a long time. And it did not bother me at all. He talked about past relationships.

I have been emailing him less. I have not wanted to get hurt. Because I feel like he doe snot have time for me and if I am investing feelings that I want it to go at the same pace so that if it does not work I am less hurt. We talked about that. And he understood. Right now he is okay with it. Sometimes he seems to know women better then other men and then other times he is a man :) not that is a bad thing. He was describing how he is in relationships and he is acting as he has in past relationships. And that bothered me a little bit. Not sure why.

Something bothered me tonight and it shouldn't but it did. I acknowledge him in my life and I am not sure he does. He was invited to dinner to a guy he works with and the email sent to him said that he forgot in the original invite to invite his wife, significant other, girlfriend or whomever he wished to bring with him. And he told the guy he was single. He is........but it just felt very much like he does not acknowledge I exist...and everyone in my life knows about him. :(

He was suppose to be going out of the country...leaving on Friday but that has been canceled and another trip might be in store for him out of the country but around the time I am suppose to visit OF COURSE! But that has not been confirmed yet.

I am really distracted tonight. I got my period it seems. It is a week early. And I am not happy about it. :( It would explain why I have been so distracted this week. I always have problems concentrating when I am pmsing.

Work has been pretty good but lots of things going on in the industry that are making me feel a little nervous. But if I keep doing things as I always have I will be fine.

Going to end this and I need to write 2 emails.

peace,
danae