Shoes for $3

Music: Jewel

Well, the last entry was weird. Kevin said he did not even understand it. Which made me have mixed feelings. I was just feeling lost, alone, out of control. I wanted to feel a place in the world.

Saturday -

Not sure what I did in the morning but afternoon I went shopping. I bought 3 pairs of shoes all $7 and less lol one pair even for $3. Not sure if I will be able to wear them long but what I was thinking I would wear them for - that is not a problem. :) I bought a skirt for $5 too but do not like how it looks on now that I got home. I bought things like altoids, Kleenex, condoms, gum, clear nail polish and a few other odds-n-ends and those things added to be more then I spent on the shoes and skirt. LOL

I came home from shopping and then got ready to go to a party. I, of course, got my period right before we were to leave so I was not a happy camper. I wore a black skirt and red shirt that shows off my cleavage. And a pair of my new shoes that were flat and comfy lol I bought a pair of mary janes yesterday too…almost wore those but did not match the outfit….goes more with my plaid short skirt. Maybe wear that to the next party.

The party was okay. Nothing great nothing terrible….very much as I expected. I got drunk. I had a nice time talking and getting to know some of the people more.

I always dread going to these things but end up having an okay time. But it is sad that I really need a drink to make me relax at these parties - because they are work industry people and so I feel like I am businesswoman mode. And I just need to relax, flirt and laugh and have fun! Which the drinks allow me to do.

Sunday -

Slept in since we got home about 3:30am. Then Kam went to pick us up some lunch. He is down about something - probably just feeling my feelings. He often does. And so he has been down and it is hard on me as I feel I can’t show my feelings then. And that is stressful to not be able to relax in my own home.

I was working on some work things and then Kevin messaged. We chatted a little bit. I am hoping Nick calls like he said he would. So kind of waiting for that. Tonight is the Janet Jackson concert on HBO. I like her a lot and love that cd so I am looking forward to jamming in front of the TV watching her. Yummmmmy!!!

I heard from Honey the other day that was good! I was happy to hear from her. It seems so weird that it is almost a year ago I was there in Germany with her.

Getting a little frustrated with Di. I will always love her and she will always be my best friend. But it gets hard to reach out and try to keep maintaining things and have the door slammed in my face every time. And that is what I feel is going on.

Admitting something I don’t want to be…..

Todd is still a part of me. I am not over him. I knew he was a part of me but he is more a part of me then I was admitting to myself. :( He goes in ups and downs with me…where I think about him lots and then not at all of days or even a week or more. I wish I would not have fallen in love with him…..I don’t mean that really. I just wish he had not hurt me so much.

peace,
danae