lunch

Music: Janet Jackson

This week is odd emotionally as I have my period. I am on a roller coaster emotionally.

Monday - My day started out actually pretty good, I signed online about 1pm and Nick messaged me and said I am calling. :) He called and we talked on the phone for 2 hours. We did not talk about the email, as he never got it. So we talked about lots of other stuff and I laughed and blushed and just had so much fun talking to him. So he asked me to forward the email to him again. And that we would talk about it.

Monday when I talked to Kevin I was more.... casual then I usually am and that is because I felt more secure with Nick. Kevin reminded me who he is to me.

The phone call with Nick was the highlight of my day. And basically everything after it I would like to just forget happened. I pretty much have....I remember some things so clearly and other time I consciously and sometimes subconsciously forget them. The only thing I remember is the log of my conversation with Kevin. Telling some details - enough to put together what happened. So, of course I stopped reading it. Nothing goes smoothly. I feel nothing ever just goes good - where I don't fail. I never do anything right even when I try hard.

Tuesday - 6:15am I went to bed - slept 3 hours - and then got up to get ready to go to lunch with a friend. I left the lunch mad about some things but not at her. She was great to tell me what was going on. This week work wise things could have been going good if I had anyone working but since I didn't.....it has kind of sucked. Today I missed Nick but also missed Kevin a lot too.

Before I signed off this morning to go to bed...Kevin told me that pretty soon I would be sleeping through the night. I did not get it at that moment when I read it but I reread it this morning. He meant when I went to see Nick that I would finally be able to sleep, as I would feel safe. It was a nice thought.

good night...

peace,
danae