Thursday, December 04, 2003

Well I have not written in a few days...I am not sure why I guess just because I have been busy doing other things when I am off/online.

This morning I got a chance to talk to wench. :) And last night I had a pleasant surprise. Not too long ago I tracked down an address for a high school friend that I had lost touch of while living in Ohio. So I had written her just before my parents came to visit and last night the phone rang as I was dressing for Master....and it was her :) It was really good to hear her voice and chat with her. She was always a good friend and I regret letting that friendship slip away while in Ohio. We had a great conversation and she had been trying to track me down also. I am glad we get a chance to renew our friendship.

Then last night Master came home with 2 dozen roses for me last night...roses in every color. One day a while back Master and I saw a bouquet similar to the one He bought me and He said buying something like that might confuse someone because they would not know what they feel - since each color of rose has a meaning. And I said that if they give all colors it means that the person means everything to them. So...I guess I mean everything to Master. :) It was such a surprise to get the roses....not like it was a special occasion...I guess I always get a little surprised when He does nice things for me. I am not sure if I think that I don't deserve it (which I am sure is part of the case) or I just have trouble when He does...not sure. But even though I do appreciate them...they are gorgeous! And I am a very lucky girl to have such a wonderful thoughtful Master!

I am wondering if I am alone in this thought or not...but Master will say something to me and I take it to heart. I believe it. And often even at times when I look back and think He was still comes to me as true. If anyone else were to say some of the things He says to me I would say yeah right or blow it off. But if Master says something I take it to heart...I take things so personally with Him. I am not explaining it well maybe it is something I can come back to at another time.

This week I have had the leather hood on 2 times. I know Master has enjoyed it a lot. And that makes me happy. I am able to breath in it so much easier since girlie fixed the holes in it. I am able to keep it on longer and longer each time I wear it. I also was able to wear it for the first time without panicking during sex. Because my breathing gets a little heavy and erratic so it makes it hard to breath out of it and I will at times panic. So last night Master fucked me with it on and I did not panic. :) It went really well and Master enjoyed fucking me with it on. I enjoyed being fucked by Master becuase I like being fucked during my period. I know it might sound a little odd but I love the way it feels. I did not have an orgasm but it felt so good. yummy!

I have added some new links on my favorite blogs: Grumble's who is girlie's Sir. I know them both in the real life. And then Fire Runner. I ran across her journal from the Cunning Linguists Journals site. I have enjoyed her journal for quite sometime and finally got around to writing her tonight to see if I could link to her. I enjoy her journal because she is real. She talks about everyday life things vanilla as well as kinky.

There is probably several others I should write to see if I can list them also. There is at least 5 other people I read at least once a week if not daily that are not listed.

Tonight I was wondering what makes people link to people...which made me think about what makes a person keep coming back to read a journal. I guess the main reason I read journals is either I know the people and love to see what is going on with them. Or if I have never met them I just feel them to be real...they talk about life...vanilla stuff as well as D/s or kinky stuff. Jane Duvall and Heather Corinna were my first experiences with online journals and really it was their journals that inspired me start mine.

I remember once when a few years ago there was this Dominant that was interested in me (before Master obviously). We chatted a few times and all he would ever talk about is BDSM and sex. And so I told him bye bye. He kept messaging me though and I kept kind of putting him off being chit chatty but not overly friendly. One day he was being overly annoying and I said I don't and won't ever want to be his - a little direct and probably a tad rude. And he came back with why wouldn't I want to be his....long story short I told him he only talked about BDSM and sex and I wanted the real deal...a whole package lol *blushing* And so he came back saying that he did not always need to talk about sex and bdsm and proceeded to ask me something vanilla. Two vanilla questions later he asked me what my favorite color was...and I said black and purple. I said that purple has been a favorite color since childhood. I used to wear purple all the time as a child. And he came back with well then when we go to have your nipples pierced you will wear purple hoops through them. He went on to describe the piercing - in very graphic, sexual and BDSM details. So he had about a whole 5 minutes of conversation without mentioning sex and BDSM. *rolls eyes* It was really annoying.

My point is I love sex and S&M and all that yummy stuff, but I like to read about real life too...what people are doing in their day - whether it is cooking, dealing with kids, work, watching tv, going to movies, talking about the last book they read or if it about emotional problems, ups and down in moods, moments of self discovery or whatever....I like the everyday life things.

And the reason I like those things because it makes it real. It means to me that it is a real person writing with real issues, real daily ins and outs of living life.

One to birthday's Master has written in His journal about birthday's....

To me on birthdays you should have some quiet time to embrace the movement of years, to look back on where you've been, and appreciate where you are... in your journey. To have some quiet time to honor the path you have taken because every turn - whether it seemed good or bad has led you to here and now. And that journey may not have been easy all the time so take some quiet time to realize just how amazing you are.

My Mom made birthday's very special for us (my sisters and myself). She celebrated that we were born and how that we should love life and be happy we are here on earth - and how happy she was to have us in her life. So she celebrated our lives on our birthdays. So I like to celebrate birthdays as they are special and meaningful to me. But that does not mean celebrating by having a party necessarily. I have loved birthday parties of the past but some of my favorite birthday's have been spent just with one other person...quiet dinner being with someone I love and care about. But still in celebration and that is what I mean by celebration. I want to acknowlege that that person whose birthday it special and loved - and that I care that they were born on that day. Whether it is through just a simple card or note saying Happy Birthday or a big is a celebration of life....and important special life that I am thankful to have in my life.

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