Sunday, January 22, 2006

A Few Questions Answered....

I had some questions asked through comments recently here are the answers...

darling nikki asked: "How does you relationship look on to outsiders in real life? Do you 2 seem "normal" to everyone else?"

I would say that we look fairly normal. We are fairly normal to me -- Master gets up and goes to work, I look like a housewife, we pay bills, deal with overflowing toilet, laundry and snow to shovel and so on. I think at times people might think there is something different about us but usually can't pin down exactly what it is that is different. Recently Master was at some vanilla friends home -- he was working on something for them -- and the friends mentioned I was "really shy." When he told me they said that I was offended as I couldn't understand why they said that since they are the couple that I am the most relaxed around. But after discussing it with a few friends online -- I saw that they really do probably see me holding back more then being shy but associate it with shy. They see that they don't know me because I don't let my guard down around anyone because I can't. So in not knowing a lot about me they say I am shy. But I can't really be me around them. That doesn't mean I would be bowing down at Master's feet or eating on the floor in public if I could be free to be me. It mostly means I am so keenly aware of my position with Master that I don't want others to see so I am always holding back for fear those subtle nuances we have might show our dynamic of Master/slave. I also am keenly aware I am his and so I don't want to do anything to embarrass him....I want to represent his property well. Even to those that don't know I am his slave.

So over all I think we look like a regular vanilla couple. And those that are a little closer might sense something different but they don't ever seem to "get it."

"How did you meet Master?"
My Master was kind of "dating" (for the lack of a better word) a mutual friend. They eventually decided they were not made for each other but she thought that he should chat with me. So it was probably close to a year after that he wrote me. He was reading my blog and then found my ad on So he decided to drop me an email. I still remember reading that email. It is so crystal clear in my mind. His email was real. It was not an email of "hear me roar - see see I am dominant." It was this is who I am....hobbies, beliefs and so on. It was real. Being so real and no "macho arrogant dominant" got me right away so I had to write him back. After that we corresponded for a bit and then did IM's and phone conversations before I visited him. From there he claimed me as his and I moved to be with him. It will be 3 years February 1 that He claimed me as His. And I am very happy to be His slave.

"I have an inkling that I would like a Master, but I have children and don't think I could do the round the clock submissive thing."

Being submissive for me doesn't mean being sexual or doing BDSM in front of kids. It is about being pleasing, submitting and serving. And many of those things can be done within daily life without anyone noticing. I know there are a few blogs out there of slaves and submissives that have children in the household and are submissive and slave 24/7. Such as nuala, annissa, kaylem and annie, kayla...I also think joy and magdala have kids. But don't quote me on that. I am sure there are others I am forgetting also.

maya asked: "In your last top five post you mentioned not leaving the house without your Master.....I was just wondering if you would talk more fully on that, or have you and I just missed it? Was it something you wanted or just that he did? How was the adjustment. What are the things you like about it, what are the hard parts... That sort of thing. The concept is just intriguing to me."

I am not sure how much I have mentioned that I don't go anywhere without Master...I probably did early in on our relationship but now it just it doesn't occur to mention it now. At first it was just Master creating me into His slave. He micromanaged me and thus part of that was not driving. He wanted me to be reminded that everything I do...even leave the house to go grocery shop is because HE allows it. I believe now although we just have one car now he likes that I am dependent on him. He has me drive every once in a while to keep up with it. I have a drivers license but it is in his wallet unless he gives it to me when I traveled without him.

It really wasn't much of an adjustment for me. I do at times get a craving to just go out and window shop or go grab a coffee out. But then if it is really something I want to do -- I may ask Master's permission and he will bring me out. Most of the time though it just passes when I remind myself who I am and that I can't go out on my own. Hard parts are such as presents for him....if I want to go shopping for a gift for him 1) I have to ask permission to get him a gift. 2) I have to ask for money 3) then I need to ask to go somewhere - where he will drop me off and then come pick me back up usually. Such at Christmas he dropped me off at the mall one day for Christmas shopping with money and then I called him when I was done and he came and got me brought me home. I at times feel that is a burden to him but he has assured me this is how he wants it.

Down points are...that at times I am now very nervous about being in new places without Master. It passes quickly though. Usually I end up being very grateful for those moments -- knowing He is allowing me that precious time on my own.


  1. thank you a lot for this entry, danae. it let me know you a little better...and the more i read the more i like what i read :) The meaning you give to your slavery is really "mine".
    Big hugs

  2. Hey Danae-I always
    think that life is so
    short you should live
    it how you want (within
    reason that is!)
    You and your Master are
    happy, do you care what
    his vanilla friends think?
    Whatever they think it does
    not detract from your
    happiness and your life

  3. Great blog post danae. Helped to get to know you a bit better. I am also on the list of submissives who have children. I have two, a 4 year old and a 10 year old. :)
    Hope you had a good weekend...


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