Thursday, January 12, 2006

Random Bits....

Yesterday was pretty stressful for me. I had a dentist appointment. I haven't been in a long time. And I knew I needed to go. I used to be really good about going to the dentist went once or twice a year for check ups and cleanings. And then when I lived in Topeka I had a bad dentist and from them on...I became scared. I told the dentist about the situation in Topeka and that I had been a good about going...and he started singing a little song...."you used to be a good girl but now you are a BAD girl." I know I was blushing and trying hard to stifle my giggles. They did an estimate of how much it will cost to do all the repairs and actually for all that needs to be done it is not that bad. Oh one bad thing that happened....I was so nervous my blood pressure was sky high - which I know kind of worried the technician. Oddly enough my bp had been going down and more stabilized my doc had me cutting back my meds and to see if I could be taken off them completely. I am sure it was just stress of the situation though so it is my hopes that my bp is still at a good level and going down so that I can go off the bp med.

Thoughts...front burner and back burner
I have front burner thoughts...those things going through my brain right now...such as this blog....but I also have some of the thoughts run on the back burner. Paulo Coelho had a phrase for it that I am not remembering at this time. You might think you are only thinking about x, y and z but often there is more there....being thought about and processed. I resolve issues in this place, often I worry about things I can't worry about up front or they will cause me to not function or focus on what is ahead of me that day and it is also the place I put things that I am in denial about. Not sure I am making sense. Anyway, for a long time I have had this thought that I didn't want to bring to the front because I knew if I did it would start plaguing my thoughts and I wouldn't be able to deny it any longer. Well I admitted it outloud to Master yesterday. And he totally understood why I wanted to be in denial about it. He did not force the issue. He just listened and was supportive of what I was feeling. But of course I couldn't sleep last night and yesterday it kept going in and out of those front burner thoughts. So now I get to decide what to do with this issue. I just hate that it came out right now.

On to other things....I have steamed cleaned the whole house this week. I got done with the last room yesterday. The carpet looks really good. I am happy Master decided to buy one. I need to try to organize my art room today. I am going to box some things up that are taking up space on a shelving unit...they are things I don't use or need at this time. So that will give me more room for art supplies and better organization.

Nice way to wake up
Master woke me by just gently caressing my breasts at first but moved to more harsh treatment of them slapping and squeezing them hard. He ended up masturbating on me. I love the way that feels....being just used by him for his pleasure. It was a nice way to wake up!


  1. I wish I could do that front burner back burner thing. There's a lot I would like to push to the back to let process on its own so I don't have to be consumed with it.


  2. I am not sure how I started doing that...I actually don't ever remember a time without doing it. I wish I could tell you how to do it...sorry. :( *hugs* Miss you girlie!

  3. How does you relationship look on to outsiders in real life? Do you 2 seem "normal" to everyone else?

    How did you meet Master?
    I have an inkling that I would like a Master, but I have children and don't think I could do the round the clock submissive thing.

    But I want to be used...I want to please. But...

    Don't know...insight would be great


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